How We Got Here
by Tabitha craft
Summary: The style of this is a cross between That 70s Show and How I met your mother. Everyone is reunited by Dawson for his film premiere when they're 36 (i.e. how old the cast are now in real life lol) and tell the story of how they got to their present lives and where they are now. *please - if you read ch 2 when fanfiction was down, let me know what you thought *
1. Chapter 1

How We Got Here

 **Chapter One**

 _Present day - Boston - Starbucks_

He was heading into a Starbucks when his phone rang. He hated being on the phone when giving his order but the line up would take at least five minutes to shift and so he answered it, hoping that the unknown number wasn't yet another telemarketer.

'Is this Pacey Witter?' It had been eighteen years since he'd heard Dawson's voice but he recognized it instantly.

'Well if it isn't Dawson Leery. Tell me, what's a Hollywood hotshot doing calling his erstwhile best friend?'

'Wow Pace, but it is nice to hear your voice,' Dawson sighed. 'I can't believe we let contact drift.'

'Well you were in Hollywood making a name for yourself - I don't imagine you've had much time. Besides you were pretty mad at me and... ' he shrugged even though Dawson couldn't see down the phone.

'Well thats all in the past,' Dawson interrupted. 'You may have heard that my movie premieres next week.'

'I heard...' Pacey began but Dawson interrupted,

'It's a coming of age saga and you know me well enough to know there's an autobiographical element. We're having a big party before the premiere and I thought it would be really nice if I rounded up the old gang and you all came. That is easier said than done, let me tell you. I'm going to organize everything, flights, hotels, limo, all of it - sort of as a thank you for getting me through the teen years with enough angst to write and direct a movie about it,' Dawson chuckled self deprecatingly and paused long enough for Pacey to get a word in,

'You managed to round up everyone?'

'I found Jen, she's coming. She has a baby man. I can't believe she's a mom...'

'Well we are thirty six,' Pacey cut in but Dawson immediately started up, on a monologue,

'I know we're the right age and all that, but I still feel like a kid. In my head at least. I just don't think I'm ready for all that. Anyway, I got Jen, Jack was in Capeside would you believe it. He's bringing a date but was all mysterious about who. And I'm expecting a call back from Bessie as to where Joey is...'

'Joey's coming?'

'Yes Pace, hopefully she is. You're not teenagers anymore so I can't imagine that would be a problem...'

'No problem, just that I...'

'Bessie said she's in Boston like you. You ever run into her?'

'Yes...'

'Wow, how is she? Man I miss that girl. I can't believe I spent my whole childhood thinking she was my soulmate only to lose touch with her at graduation. If Bessie didn't have the B & B still I wouldn't have known where to look for her. I cannot imagine what she's like anymore. I bet she's still beautiful...'

'Of course,' Pacey interceded,

'And probably still capable of taking you down,' Dawson laughed. 'Look I have to go, I'm running into a meeting and...'

'One thing D,' Pacey interrupted.

'Sure, anything.'

'Can I bring a date?'

'Of course. I would expect nothing less. My assistant will call you in a couple of days. Pass on the details and she'll handle it all.'

'Will do. Thanks Dawson.'

 _Present day - Boston - Joey's kitchen_

'For craps sake,' Joey swore as she accidentally dropped the shopping bag containing the tins onto the kitchen floor, the toilet paper, keys and her handbag all tumbling down, and the bag full of fruits and vegetables falling sideways, apples rolling in every direction. Her phone began to ring at the same moment as the puppy began chasing after the apples, nosing them along.

'Ned, no,' she muttered in exasperation as she answered the phone, 'hello?'

'Joey, it's Dawson,' he sounded thrilled and nervous.

'Oh my god Dawson, I heard you were going to be calling me.'

'I begged your number from Bessie.'

'Ned no...oh for craps sake...' she cursed as the puppy piddled in excitement. 'I'm sorry, the puppy just peed on the floor and ugh, the shopping fell everywhere and now he's trying to eat it...'

'It's ok Joey, I promise. Just say you'll come to my premiere in LA this weekend. Everyone else would be there and I'd be heartbroken if you weren't. I'm taking care of tickets, flights, hotels everything. Just say yes?'

'I have the puppy and...'

'I'll pay for a puppy sitter. Anything you need.'

'It's late notice...' she began sighing as the puppy began going for the box of eggs. 'Ned no,' she tried to hold the phone to her ear as she pulled the eggs from the puppy. 'Crap,' she muttered as one fell on the floor and cracked into a gloopy mess the puppy instantly began eating. 'Look, I'll be there ok. Can I bring a date?'

'A date?'

'Jen said she was bringing a date, so did Jack and...'

'You still speak to those guys?' he sounded taken aback.

'We live close and go away every summer. We used to invite you, remember? So, yeah I still speak to them. And...'

'Then of course. Pacey is coming too would you believe it? He's also bringing a date?'

'Well no surprise there...' she laughed.

'No, I know,' Dawson laughed too. 'All that remains to be seen is how blond she is and how old...'

'Yeah,' Joey sighed as she began to one handedly place items onto the kitchen counter. 'I better go.'

'Sure. My assistant will be in touch.'

'Great.'

 _Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"_

'Oh man look at the hotty Pacey Witter just walked in with,' Drue Valentine let out a low whistle and Jen rolled her eyes,

'Tell me how you managed to get yourself invited to this thing?' Jen asked surveying the tall man she'd once crushed on.

'Oh I was in an early Leery production. About ten years ago. Then he called me to audition for a small semi permanent role in the series and the rest as they say is history.'

'That's not history,' Jen gave Drue a knowing look.

'Fine, fine. I insisted on taking him out for drinks, dragged him somewhere where the ladies remove their clothes and we found we liked being drunk around scantily clad women and the rest as they say is history.'

'Well I'm surprised to hear that of Dawson Leery!' Jen crossed her arms.

'I dragged him into the gutter. It's more fun here.'

'Says you. Tell me Drue. You have a girlfriend? A wife? Kids?'

'Kids? Woah there Lindley, I'm only thirty six. I still have time.'

'Only thirty six?' Jen smirked. 'I have a baby you know. A little girl called Amy.'

'Wow, that I wouldn't have guessed. You look fantastic.'

'Thanks, I think,' she rolled her eyes.

'You bring your husband?'

'No,' Jen shook her head, 'I don't have one. I do have a new boyfriend and I brought him,' Jen nodded in the direction of where a man was talking to Pacey and his date.

'Do what's the deal with Pacey and his bird? She looks a bit young. And she reminds me of Potter.'

'Hmm, she does a little,' Jen agreed.

'You seen Potter?'

'She's around here somewhere.'

'And what about you Jenny? You happy?'

'Yes.'

'And Potter?'

'She's very happy.'

'Too bad.'

 _Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"_

'Pacey, man,' Dawson slipped into the seat at the table Drue had vacated, 'everyone,' he said with a large smile. 'Who's enjoying the catch up?' he looked at Joey and her handsome, but young, date, Jen and her beau, Pacey, and his scarily young date and Jack who had brought Doug Witter of all people.

'It's really great to be here Dawson. We're all looking forward to the film.'

'Well I hope you like it. I hope you don't hate me,' he chuckled.

'Oh I hope we don't too,' Jen agreed.

'Can I steal Pacey for a quick word?' Dawson asked the table and tugged Pacey up.

'What's up?' Pacey asked.

'I've uh, had a couple of questions about your date. I know you like them young but seriously Pace, I think you may have taken young a little far,' Dawson explained in hushed tones.

'Oh no it's ok,' Pacey shook his head.

'She might say she's eighteen but seriously I don't think she is.'

'She's fifteen,' Pacey stated with a confused frown.

'Fifteen!' Dawson exploded and dragged Pacey further from the table,

'Man, I can't have a scandal like this, it would overshadow the whole premiere...'

'Dawson I think you've gotten the wrong end of the stick. Alice is my daughter. I brought my daughter as my date because what fifteen year old wouldn't want to go to a movie premiere?' Pacey smirked in amusement, especially at the dumbfounded expression on Dawson's face.

'Your daughter?'

'Yes.'

'You have a daughter?'

'I have two. And two sons.'

'Oh my god, who with?' Dawson stared at him.

'My wife,' Pacey grinned, 'who else?'

'You're married?'

Pacey held up his ring finger with its simple band of gold.

'Oh my god, that's actually really funny. There's my sponsor asking who brought the underage girl and you did but it's your daughter. i can't believe it.'

'My son's here too,' Pacey pointed out amused by Dawson's panic and subsequent shock over the circumstances.

'He is? You're kidding me?'

'No, he's Joey's date.'

'What?' Dawson's head turned to the table and the tall young man seated next to Joey with such speed Pacey could have sworn he heard the tendons snap.

'Josh is seventeen. We thought about asking if we could bring the twins but they're just a little young at twelve.'

'Twins?' Dawson's brow was marred with concern and bewilderment.

'Edie and Jay.'

'Your kids with Joey?'

'Yes, we thought you knew. That's why I found your call so funny. You mean you didn't know?'

'No, I had no idea either of you were married, let alone to each other and with kids.'

'Yeah, sixteen years this summer and I'm still as madly in love as ever.'

'You and Joey?' Dawson shook his head apparently uncomprehending.

'Yeah, me and Jo. Did you not get the invitation to our wedding? Look come and sit for five...'

'You only need five minutes? I feel like I missed your whole lives.'

'The last eighteen years maybe,' Pacy admitted with a shrug.

'I just...I thought that today would be about closure, about seeing you all and feeling like I hadn't missed out but had done something valid...I just...'

'Well you've done something impressive Dawson. No one else is Hollywoods hottest director. We're fairly regular people.'

'You know what I thought when I saw Joey again?' Dawson stopped their progress back to the table, 'when she came in I thought my heart had stopped. I thought, here she is, the girl I'm going to marry. I thought I could have it all, the career and the family and the life with my soulmate,' Dawson's eyes were wide, wild even.

'Well that just ain't gonna happen because I have it on good authority that she is very, very into her husband.'

'I get that,' Dawson stated dramatically, 'but I've been living a daydream for years. I thought we were destined. I mean how did it even happen? We left school and eighteen and you two had just been friends. I know you had a thing for her but... And at nineteen you had a kid together?'

'Come sit down,' Pacey dragged him back to the table and smiled to ease Joey's worried face, 'Dawson can't understand how we got together. Apparently he didn't know.'

'Oh tell the story dad,' Alice encouraged from her seat next to Pacey's.

'This was her bedtime story for years,' Josh teased and his sister glared,

'Like you can talk,' she stuck out her tongue and then mouthed an apology at the chastising look from her mother.

'You have time Dawson?' Joey asked and Dawson nodded,

'I think I need to hear this story because there was a very different end to my movie and you're about to watch it and I'm thinking I need to remake it.'

'Oh shut up Dawson,' Pacey nudged him in the arm, 'we all have youthful fantasies that we wonder how they would have played out.'

'Was my mom yours?' Alice asked and Dawson stared at the tall, slim beauty before him with her long dark hair, button nose and large blue eyes. Now he knew, she was an obvious mesh of his childhood friends.

'My what?' he asked, distracted from what she had said in his examination of her features.

'Was my mom your youthful fantasy?' Alice asked Dawson with interest.

'Yeah I guess she was, is. I always thought I'd marry her.'

'Well too late because my dad already did that,' Josh was making a point and he reminded Dawson of Pacey at the same age even though he had Joey's eyes.

'Like I'm going anywhere with the five of you holding me in place,' Joey rolled her eyes.

'Hey Josephine,' Pacey glared.

'And I love you so much I'd die without you,' she dead panned but Pacey just gave a large, happy smile.

'Please do tell the story,' Dawson stared around the table and swallowed back a sudden tide of disquiet at the unexpectedness of the situation. 'We should have time before the movie starts. I mean I have to schmooze a bit but still...really I'd love to know.'

'You wanna start toots?' Pacey gave Joey a look and she shrugged,

'Yeah ok. So, I went off to Worthington, you went off to conquer Hollywood. I dragged Jack and Jen with me and Pacey, he returned from the seven seas and headed to Boston.'

'Tell him about dad being in love,' Alice cut in.

'I was about to,' Joey widened her eyes playfully at her daughter, 'so unbeknownst to everyone except for Jen, Pace had apparently fallen ass backwards in love with me junior year, you know when we were renovating the house into the B&B.'

'Your duet at Aunt Gwen's practically killed him his heart hurt so bad,' Josh intoned dramatically, clutching his heart.

'Watch it kid,' Pacey flicked a nut from the table at his son.

'You used to be a lot more theatrical than Josh was dad,' Alice chimed in, in defence of her brother.

'Fine,' Pacey stood and clutched his heart dramatically, 'it was when Joey stood and sung daydream believer with Dawson, their _very own karaoke number_ , that my heart felt like it was severed in two and I wondered how I could exist along side the pain of my unrequited love.'

'Now that's more like it,' Joey nodded as Jen and Jack applauded, along with Alice and Josh.

'Seriously, I died an emotional death that day,' Pacey owned up, Jen nodding,

'I heard all about it.'

'Didn't stop you trailing after her like a love sick puppy,' Alice pointed out happily.

'That it did not,' Pacey agreed. 'And everyday my heart broke more.'

'Why didn't you make a move dad?' Josh asked, rolling his eyes at the timing learnt from childhood,

'I didn't want to risk losing her altogether. When you love someone as much as I love your mom, you stay in their life in whatever way you can and I didn't think she was willing to consider me as a potential lover.'

'Eww dad, do you always have to use that word?' Alice's face scrunched in distaste, a similar look on her brothers face.

'You guys do know how babies are made, right?' Jen patronized.

'You told us Aunty Jen,' Josh blushed.

'I thought your mom and dad had already done that,' Jen defended.

'We thought you'd witnessed something you shouldn't have,' Jack filled in.

'No, thank god,' Alice was also red faced.

'Anyway, we digress,' Joey interrupted.

'My heart was aching something rotten and my soul was blue and so after graduation I planned to leave for the open seas, but not before our big fight,' Pacey looked to Dawson.

'I remember,' Dawson frowned.

'I told you I was in love with Joey,' Pacey said.

'And I lost it,' Dawson stated remembering. 'I thought you were making it up, that you were trying to smooth the way for trying to get her into bed. I think I was suspicious that something was happening and that you had been lying...'

'Only nothing had been happening. We were just friends...'

'Who suddenly fought about everything and in an incredibly emotional way...'

'You swore if I made a move you'd never speak to me again,' Pacey remembered, 'only...'

'Only dad had sworn he'd never forgive himself if he didn't,' Josh filled in, over the fact that this had been his bed time story for years and relishing the story telling.

'So then there was the graduation party,' Pacey stated, 'I had one side of my brain warning me I might lose my best friend of forever if I made a move and the other side of my brain telling me that I needed this girl as much as I needed oxygen, that I just _had_ to see if she might be mine.'

'So at the party...' Alice interceded,

'Getting there chickadee, getting there,' Pacey smiled at his daughter.

'Before you get there you're forgetting something...' Jen reminded Alice.

'What?' she frowned looking like her mother.

'Whether or not Joey here had an inkling that Pace had a thang for her...'

'Oh I love this conversation,' Josh piped up.

'You tell it Jen,' Joey cringed and Jen smiled,

'With pleasure.'

 _Eighteen years earlier - Jen's House - Capeside - getting ready for the graduation party_

'Wear the skirt and the top, skirts make it easier for wondering hands,' Jen threw a skirt at Joey and snatched the shorts from her.

'Like any hands are going to be wondering up my skirt Jen,' Joey rolled her eyes.

'Not even Pacey's?' Jen sing songed and Joey flopped back on her friends bed,

'I don't think Pacey has feelings for me as you keep saying. We've been friends for forever.'

'Oh come on, that boy is wild for you,' Jen interrupted, 'he buys you walls, he campaigns for sacked head teachers with you, he builds you B&B's and gets you free labour, goes everywhere with you, teaches you to drive, studies with you, begs teachers for extensions for you... but sure he's just a normal friend, no other feelings there at all.'

'Even if Pacey _did_ have feelings for me, which he doesn't, it doesn't change the fact that Pacey and I together would be like halibut with chocolate - we just wouldn't mix.'

'Bull shit,' Jen stared in open mouthed shock. 'You're telling me that when he leans in close like he's constantly doing, the hair on your neck doesn't prickle, that you don't feel alive?'

Jen stared at Joey who was staring at nothing, apparently deep in thought, the tiniest of tell tale blushes staining her cheeks.

'Surely that's just hormones?' Joey pouted and Jen ruffled her hair,

'Yeah, your hormones telling you to jump the guy...'

'As if,' Joey shook her head, 'seriously you're deluded, this is Pacey, I mean sure he's good looking and he has a nice body but it's Pacey. I could never, ever be attracted to Pacey.'

 _Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"_

 _'_ Never. Ever. Be. Attracted. To. Pacey,' Pacey intoned, 'took you a while to live that down,' he smirked with a loving look at his wife.

'From the second I made the halibut and chocolate comparison I couldn't get it out of my head that you were the chocolate and I was probably the halibut.'

'Well there we disagree,' he gave her a soft look.

'Now we can get to the party,' Alice prompted and Pacey nodded and took over the story.

'The party was at your house, I'm sure you remember Dawson.'

'How could I forget,' Dawson said wanly.

'I told myself I was going to make a move and so I sat on the dock for the first hour until Jo here found me.'

 _Eighteen years earlier - Capeside - Dawson's Dock - The graduation party at Dawson's_

'I've been looking for you,' Joey dropped to the dock beside Pacey and he smiled at her despite his nerves. He always liked it best when she was near.

'Here I am,' he shrugged.

'You're the halibut. I keep telling myself you're the halibut but I don't believe myself,' she mumbled.

'How much have you had to drink Potter?' Pacey nudged her shoulder and she dropped her head onto his.

'Oh I've had loads. Jen gave me at least three vodka and cokes before we came and I've had that many in the last hour because I wanted to tell you something.'

'You did huh? Something that required a lotta Dutch courage?' his heart began to thump optimistically as she turned the full, hypnotic power of her eyes onto him.

'Jen said you like me, she said you have feelings for me, that I'm crazy not to believe her.'

'She did?' his face fell, but her hand was there on his chin, her thumb smoothing the worry away.

'I said that couldn't be true...'

'What if it was true?' he asked and she pouted,

'No,' she half yelled, 'no, you can't do that. I'm making a move, not you.'

'You're making a move?' his heart was threatening to thunder right out of his chest as it rapidly knit the broken bits back together.

'I said that you and I together was like halibut and chocolate,' she twisted on the dock until she was on her knees and leaning toward him, 'halibut and chocolate!' Her hand smoothed up his neck and into his hair, 'only I realized you were the chocolate. And I like chocolate. Hell I love chocolate,' she was staring at him and was so close, so tantalizingly close. 'Does that make me halibut?'

'You could never be halibut,' he whispered his hand cupping her cheek. 'Maybe we're both chocolate.'

'Do you like chocolate?' she asked and he nodded,

'I love chocolate,' he said and then she half fell as she pushed against his hand to press her lips to his. She gasped into the kiss and he could understand why because he felt it too, this ripple, this zing that made kissing her everything even if she tasted like vodka and coke, even if she'd landed awkwardly, half on top of him, even if it took her a couple of minutes to take his cues, because really her kiss was sloppy and well meant but their technique needed refinement, refinement which came when her mouth relaxed and his tongue dominated, because this kiss - this kiss was everything to him.

 _Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"_

 _'_ You thanked me for making you wear a skirt the next day,' Jen teased as Josh and Alice both said,

'Yuck,' in unison, and then 'jinks,' before smiling at each other.

'I think I thanked you too,' Pacey grinned. 'So I told you Dawson and you thumped me and our friendship died.'

'Well I remember that clearly.'

'You weren't best pleased with me either. And I wasn't pleased with Pacey because he was going off sailing,' Joey said.

'You told me to go,' he stared at her and she smiled,

'I wanted you to stay.'

'They wrote post cards to each other. Mom would send hers to the port a stop down the coast to wherever dads last postcard had come from. She sent them to the post office. They still keep them beside their bed.'

'Thanks Alice,' Joey rolled her eyes.

'Like I didn't know that,' Jack shrugged, 'I think we all did.'

'Only because you've all shared the bed with Pace at one time or another,' she gave them a stern look.

'He can't sleep alone,' Jen defended. 'You were in the hospital with whatever baby it was and Jack, Doug and I drew straws to see who got stuck with Pace.'

'I preferred Jack or Doug to you, it was less uncomfortable when I woke up cuddling,' Pacey admitted.

'Maybe just share the bed with me,' Joey gave him a pointed look.

'Yes ma'am,' he winked at her.

'So you were sending postcards to each other. As friends?' Dawson asked.

'Oh mine were flirty,' Pacey shrugged.

'Outrageously so,' Joey concurred.

'Yours alluded to feelings and well you know...kinky stuff...' Pacey defended.

'Well maybe...ok,' Joey blushed characteristically which surprised Dawson to see this remnant of childhood. 'Only I decided nothing would happen when you got back.'

'Ah yeah, your mother,' Pacey spoke to his children out of habit, 'she came to the dock to tell me nothing could happen between us,' he smiled a ridiculously huge smile.

'Didn't go so well,' Joey admitted.

'Tell him what happened mom,' Josh nudged his mother.

'Such an age appropriate part of the story,' Jack grinned and leant back in his seat taking Doug's hand.

'Fine, fine. So I went down to the docks, as characteristically nervous as you'd expect. Jen had tried to talk me into seeing where it would go. Jack called me crazy. Dawson, you refused to talk to me at all. I was determined to return to the status quo. I don't know why. Fear I guess. So I went down to the dock...'

 _Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston docks - the summer after graduation_

 _'_ Wow _,_ the boating life agrees with you,' Joey watched him appear on dock, hair short but still slightly curly, body tanned and more toned than she remembered. She subconsciously licked her lips and then when she realized what she'd done she reminded herself that she was there to say they should be friends and only friends.

'Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes,' he said and then he smiled, the smile that lit up his whole face and she found herself jumping onto the boat. Suddenly he was stepping towards her and she was stepping towards him and then they were entwined in the tightest of all embraces. She couldn't have said who went for the kiss first, they just were kissing, his hands smoothing onto the bare skin of her waist, her hands gripping at his shirt, tugging it up so she could run her hands over his six pack. Since when did Pacey have a six pack, flittered across her mind but she was honestly too busy enjoying the feel of it and his defined pecs to pay much heed to any question or comment her mind might throw at her.

'You have a room Pace?' she hissed and he nodded, his thumbs tucking under the edge of her bra and brushing lightly against soft flesh.

'Hmmm mmmm,' he mumbled nodding, understanding the question exactly as he was supposed to and pulling her below deck. She peeled off her top before the door had closed behind them. The bed was small and as her back landed against the soft covers she was surrounded by his smell and it was wonderful and only drove her need for him further along this crazy path, this path that would result in him pushing into her body, in his panting words of love as he encouraged her legs to wrap around him, as he insisted she fall hedonistically before he did.

She meant to leave his bed, she really did, but she loved being with him. He was playful and fun and just the right mix of heartfelt sincerity.

She insisted it was just sex, but everyone knew better it seemed.

'You're so in love you're blinded by your own heart shaped eyeballs,' Jen told her laughing, especially when Pacey turned up and Joey immediately draped herself all over him.

'It's like you used to be a separate person and now when you breathe I see mini Pacey's floating in the air surrounded by hearts,' Jack told her as they drank coffee one morning in the apartment the four of them shared.

'Oh shut up,' Joey said as she poured a second coffee to take to Pacey who was still sleeping in her room.

Even Pacey teased her, drawing love hearts on her back and initialling them with a P and a J. Telling her he loved her and pretending she said it back. He didn't seem to care about her refusal to recognize things for what they were, even resolving arguments with kisses and love. Until one day she cracked. It must have been three months after his return from sailing. They were all heading back to Capeside and presented with the separation this would involve Joey had latched herself onto Pacey all evening, insisting on sitting half on him as they played games and got drunk, the four of them giggling away over things so funny she couldn't remember what they were. When Jack and Jen had gone Joey had assumed Pacey would sleep in her room, but after going through the bathroom instead of joining her in her bed as he normally did she heard the door to his mostly unused room click. Incensed, outraged and hurt she'd stormed out of bed. She may have only been wearing her matching black lace underwear (all her underwear matched these days as Pacey was constantly removing it) and barged into his room.

'No, no, no,' she yelled with a full on pout.

'What's up pussy cat?' he'd asked benignly from the bed, just a hint of a smirk.

'It's our last night together and you want to spend it alone?' she glared at him, eyes narrowed, and becoming aware that underwear was perhaps not the best choice of clothing for a showdown such as this.

'Why would it bother you? We had sex earlier and this is just sex, right?' he narrowed his eyes at her and she'd grabbed his folded laundry from on top of his chest of drawers and hurled it at him. And when that didn't feel like enough she opened his socks drawer and hurled pair after pair at him, before admitting defeat and clambering into the bed beside him and rolling her body on top of his,

'I love you Pacey, I love you so much it scares me. I want to be with you - all. the. damn. time. I hang, ridiculously, off every word you have to say. I love the feel of your fingers threaded through mine, and the way you brush the hair from my face. Don't make me sleep alone because I don't know how I'm going to do it when I have to in Capeside.'

'Say it again,' he cupped her face in his palm,

'I love you.'

'And again,' he whispered after pressing a kiss to her lips.

'I love you.'

'God Potter, I've been waiting my whole life to hear you say that.'

 _Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"_

'And that was the night they made me,' Josh stated grandly and Dawson spit out his drink. He knew it was true, after all Josh had to be seventeen and he and his friends were thirty six, but it all seemed so far from where they'd been when they were at school together. He couldn't imagine the success driven Joey Potter of his youth getting pregnant during her first year at Worthington, let alone by Pacey Witter, and then to keep the baby? He wondered if he should check her head for scars from a lobotomy, but she seemed incredibly relaxed and happy, in love even, and Josh was not her only child. There was Alice and twelve year old twins. It was all quite insane.

'Thanks for that kid,' Joey rolled her eyes at her son. 'But yes it's true, that we were less than careful and your wonderful presence on earth is the result.'

'Thanks mom,' he grinned at her, clearly mocking her.

'So what happened?' Dawson asked and Jen laughed,

'Oh I'm sure you can imagine.'

'Tell me...'

'I was the one to work it out,' Jen stated...

 _Eighteen year earlier - Boston - The apartment_

'I'm getting fat,' Joey moaned as she slumped on the couch, her feet on Jen's lap. _Friends_ was on tv and Joey's words were followed by her pushing the container of Ben and jerry's they were sharing onto the coffee table.

'Too much of lover boys delicious food?'

'You know, you'd think all the sex would burn all the calories,' Joey pouted and Jen laughed,

'You'd think!' her bedroom was after all next door to Joey's.

'And I've been sick this week,' Joey pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

'Joey,' Jen sat up, suddenly staring at her friend, appraising whether the stick thin girl was really putting on weight or just feeling that way. 'Are you late?'

'Late?' Joey stared at her confused, not understanding the question. 'Late for what?'

'Your period,' Jen clarified and Joey's eyes widened so much it was almost comical, except of course it wasn't,

'Late?' she grabbed her bag and pulled out her diary, the contents falling to the floor as it fell from her hand as she flicked through the small book, counting, before turning to Jen with a crestfallen face, and two big, fat tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

'So?'

'I'm not just a little late, I'm three weeks late. How the hell didn't I notice? This is me. Things like this just don't happen to me. I'm careful, and organized and I know when I should be on and if I was late...three weeks? This is what you get for falling in love!' she stated irrationally, throwing her diary across the room. 'Come on.'

'Drug store?' Jen asked even though they were in pyjama pants and vests.

'Drug store,' Joey nodded.

 _Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston - Walmart restrooms_

'Same,' Jen turned over the third pregnancy test that Joey had passed her from under the stall door.

'Wait, I'll do another.'

'Where the hell are you managing to muster all this pee up from?'

'I pee when I'm nervous, this situation is highly nerve wracking.'

'Well, I think now you need to come out of the stall and look at the results with me...' Jen said softly and at length the stall door clicked open and Joey stood there looking a complete mess.

'How could I fuck up like this? How?' she asked.

'You need some time to think Jo, but don't think about it like that. Life is like the rolling waves of the ocean, and the best thing to do is go with the flow...'

'Go with the flow?' Joey squeaked, 'my scholarship, my dreams, my life, I might as well be flushing it down the toilet.'

'That's one way to look at it. Or this is the start of something new, different but just as exciting.'

'Pacey is gonna hate me...'

'Hate you?' Jen couldn't help but scoff, 'I don't think so.'

'God,' Joey fell into the smaller girls arms.

'There are other options you know...'

'I know,' Joey sniffed. 'I just...I can't decide to have an abortion when I've only just acknowledged I'm pregnant. But if I don't have one, what kind of life can I hope to have?'

'Talk to Pace,' Jen suggested and Joey nodded.

'I guess,' she looked sick at the notion. 'How do I tell him something like this? How do I tell him I've messed with his entire life?'

'Wow, Jo, calm down,' Jen grasped the shoulders of the hyperventilating girl. 'it wasn't just you who did this...remember that.'

'Oh god,' Joey sunk to the floor, 'it's awful because this baby will fuck everything up, everything and yet I know I want it. I know that's stupid and not thought out or anything that would be sensible but it's Pacey's baby. It's our baby and I want it. And that's stupid because I'm so angry with him, and so angry with me, and fuck...'

'Take some time Jo. This is the biggest decision of your life.'

'I need to talk to Pacey, like now,' Joey pushed to her feet and Jen took her hand.

'Restaurant here we come,' Jen stated.

 _Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston - Civilization_

Joey had insisted Jen left her alone at the restaurant but worried about her friend Jen had stayed, sat beside her, waiting until the end of Pacey's shift. Joey was sure it was the longest half hour of her life. When Pacey finally came through the door and into the restaurant he was obviously in a great mood, one that evaporated the second he saw his girlfriend's face.

'Oh my god, what's wrong? Joey, baby, what's wrong?' he was in front of her, his arm around her, his hand in her hair, a soft kiss to her head.

'I'll leave you...' Jen said.

 _Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"_

'So?' Dawson stared at Pacey.

'You want me to tell you about her telling me?'

'Yes,' Dawson nodded. 'I can't imagine you receiving that kind of news, and Joey saying the words... That's even harder to picture.'

'Sure,' Pacey nodded.

 _Eighteen Years Earlier - Boston - The apartment_

'You're scaring the hell out of me here Potter,' Pacey stated as she walked stonily beside him and then into her room once they were home. She sat on the bed and grabbed the stuffed bear Pacey had given her. It made her feel ridiculously young to be hugging a stuffed bear but she needed something to hang on to. 'Jo, please tell me what's wrong? I promise I'll try to help, that I'll do whatever you need,' he beseeched and yet she still couldn't force any words out.

'Unless it's me,' Pacey blanched, 'is it me? I know you've been a little moody lately - did I do something wrong? Forget something? Did I fuck up?'

'We both fucked up,' she whispered and his hands covered his face for a moment.

'Whatever I did I'm sorry, but what we have is good Jo. It's great and I love you so much...please don't give up on...'

'Oh for gods sake Pacey, I'm in love with you. I'm not ending this, not on purpose,' she snuck a hand out and caught his.

'Then I don't understand.'

'I'm pregnant,' the words were flung from her, a mixture of harsh reality, and reverence.

'Pregnant?' he echoed uncomprehendingly.

'Yes. Your baby in here,' she pulled his hand to her stomach. The move was meant to force the reality into him but he turned on the bed so he was lying on his stomach and spread his hands over her flat stomach.

'Really?' he looked up at her and she visibly weakened at the utter disbelief and happiness in his eyes.

'Yes,' she frowned.

'Aw Jo,' he'd somehow managed to throw a kiss onto her stomach and then he was sitting up and gathering her into his arms, holding her close and kissing her cheeks, her hair, and the tears she hadn't realized she was crying. 'We'll work it out. You and I always do.'

'But how? My scholarship, everything. God, this wouldn't be so bad at the end of my last year but this is my first year...'

'Jo, nothing in your life or mine has ever been smooth, we've had rocky seas for years. If there were ever two individuals who could ride out a storm it's you and I, and I have absolutely no doubt that we can do it in style,' he reassured.

'I need my degree, I need college.'

'Then you have it.'

'But how? Words are easy but the reality isn't. By the start of my second year I'm going to have a baby.'

'We're going to have a baby. Let's not forget that whatever happens we're in it together.'

'We are?'

'Of course you daft girl. I some times think saying I'm in love with you is too simple, i mean I'm utterly, life long in love with you. So we have a baby now instead of in five years or ten. We'll be ok.'

'You seem so sure,' she kissed his chin, 'I'm so unsure.'

'Ok, college. You go talk to them, secure a semester off. Not ideal but it'll give you some breathing room. Gretchen did it. Lots of people do. We start a joint bank account and we save.'

'I barely have enough to live on, let alone save...'

'So we move. Into a smaller, cheaper place, just you and I.'

'Away from Jen and Jack?'

'But near to them,' he shrugged. 'In the same building if you want. There's a one bedroom with a den going down the hall. They can get roommates for our rooms. We only need one room. The den should do as a nursery.'

'Ok...' she frowned, 'but money is still going to be an issue.'

'I'll work hard. Then I'll go for a chef job at a different place. Civilization isn't the only restaurant in town and I'm good at this and I can work hard at it.'

'You'd be willing to support me through college?'

'Of course. Then you can get some well paying job and I'll retire...'

'In your dreams buddy...'

'This is my dream Joey. Maybe not now, the timing does suck, but in life. This is what I want.'

'You're that sure about me at eighteen?'

'I was sure about you at 4,' he shrugged.

'You were not,' she frowned.

'I was. Who knows why we fall for certain people, but you do it for me. You make my heart beat harder. I get nervous, even when I shouldn't be nervous. I don't hate that this has happened. I wish for you that it had been in five years but honestly, the idea of spending my life with you and our awesome kid, well that bit is pretty cool.'

'Our kid would be awesome,' she admitted, still not quite able to trust his reaction.

'Our kid _will_ be awesome,' he clarified placing a hand on her stomach.

'And when I get stretch marks and saggy boobs and a fat ass...'

'Oh shut up,' Pacey rolled his eyes, 'I love you. Sure, I do find you quite ridiculously attractive but stretch marks or some extra weight, or even saggy boobs won't change that. Despite all my prior behaviour and remarks, I'm not that superficial. I don't think I'd even see that stuff - I'm just thrilled I get to touch you. I'm even more thrilled that you touch me,' he gave her a smile and she found that she could smile.

'So what exactly do we do?' she looked at him.

'Doctors appointment, college appointment, and promotion. We also enquire about that apartment today. Jen and Jack will fill our rooms easy. In that order and then when you have the baby we find a really, really great sitter.'

'Maybe Grams...' Joey mused.

'Great thinking. Look Jo, this doesn't need to be the end of everything. It can be the start of everything. You can have a kid, a family, a great career. I mean I want that all so I'm not scared. You've only just acknowledged you're in love with me. Is that what you want?'

'I...' she hesitated, thinking, 'I mean I never really thought about my life beyond getting into college, but yes I want a family. I just...I just didn't want to be broke. My whole life has been about the next dollar, always worrying where it would come from.'

'Ah Jo, I wish I could promise we won't be broke. I wish I could promise we'd never have to worry but we will. And we're gonna have to work hard, but you know - that's not something we're bad up. And even if we worry about money, I promise to love you. To love our kid.'

'Really?'

'Yes.'

 _Present Day - Los Angeles - Film premier of "The Creek"_

'And?' Dawson asked leaning forward.

'Hey Dawson man, I'm sorry to interrupt but Carter is here and he really wants to talk to you,' a man around their age approached the table, his hair immaculately styled.

'Shit,' Dawson cursed and then apologized, 'I'm sorry,' he looked at them all. 'it seems I have to go and yet I really need to hear the end of this. I just...well when you watch the movie you'll get it.'

'You could take a trip to Boston?' Joey suggested. 'We all live on the same block. Come have a barbecue. You can meet Edie, Jay and Amy.'

'Really?' he frowned.

'Really, come on man. This was never going to be the opportunity for the best catch up, so come and stay.'

'Next week?' Dawson asked pulled out his diary. 'I could fly in for the weekend.'

'Sure,' Pacey nodded as Joey checked her phone and nodded.

'I'll take Edie to her dance class if Alice can walk Jay to scouts?' Josh offered.

'Can do. I have my play performance in the evening too. Saturday, remember?'

'As if we could forget that,' Josh muttered.

'Josh,' Joey reprimanded. 'Dad and I would never miss that. None of us would. Aunt Bessie and Uncle Bodie are coming with Alex and Rebecca and Grandma and Grandpa, and all your Witter aunts and uncles. I think we're a good fifty per cent of the audience.'

'Ok good,' Alice's face lit up.

'Though I do have to miss it because I promised Ellie that I'd take her out.'

'And you can't miss a date with her because you love her,' Alice stuck her tongue out at her brother.

'You're taking her to your sisters play,' Pacey said firmly.

'But dad...'

'Josh you know how your dad feels about supporting each other at these things.'

'Ok fine,' Josh rolled his eyes, 'I guess Ellie would't mind.'

'Just make it romantic...because you love her,' Alice teased again.

'So what if I do?' Josh looked nonplussed reminding Dawson yet again of Pacey. 'She's smart, she's witty and she's pretty and most of all she likes me.'

'He's been in love with Ellie since kindergarten,' Alice explained.

'And Ellie?' Dawson wore a faint smile.

'She's just noticed,' Alice grinned.

'And she needs to keep noticing before we go to college.'

'Where are you going to college?' Dawson asked, staring at the good looking kid, thinking of him with his future all in front of him.

'He's going to Harvard pre med - we hope,' Joey stated and Josh scowled.

'I don't care where I go mom. I keep telling you and dad. I got the scholarship from NYU...'

'And you want Harvard kid. We can afford Harvard,' Pacey reminded him.

'You have four of us...'

'And we have college money for four of you.'

'Fine...if I get into Harvard with some financial, I really want to go there to study pre med,' Josh admitted looking at Dawson.

'Josh, you know dad and I think you should go where your heart wants to go. We're so proud of you and you have such a great brain and a great heart. When you get that acceptance, you go.'

'But...'

'Trust me kid, we're good,' Pacey winked at him, and then looked at Joey.

'Ok.'

'It's not your job to worry, ok?' Pacey reminded him?

'But...'

'We'll talk when we're home,' Joey stated and that was clearly the end of the discussion.

'Sure. Sorry,' he wrapped an arm around his mom and kissed her head.

'I would love to visit you. I'll be there. Can I get you to give your address to my assistant?'

'Sure,' Pacey nodded. 'We probably won't see you after the movie so thanks for this D.'

'Any time.'

'Seriously Dawson,' Jack said. 'It was really nice of you.'

'It was...' He gave a wry chuckle, 'I mean I was trying to be nice. Give everyone a chance to catch up but Joey and Pacey, you guys are together, Jack, you're with Doug, so you're all family, and Jen, you're there too. You're Aunty Jen and me...I'm just the guy that was once friends with you all and who's all alone and making movies of when we were all friends.'

'Dawson,' Joey's face softened.

'No, no,' he hushed her, 'it's fine. It really is. I let my anger do this because I was so full of stupid faith that in the end we'd end up together. That people drift apart and some people, they drift back together. But we're not going to be drifting back together are we?' he looked at her, unable to see anything but her and the way she shook her head.

'No,' she answered simply and honestly.

'I'll see you in Boston,' he nodded curtly, clearly upset and headed off.

'Wow,' Jack murmured with arched brows.

'Was he always so dramatic uncle Jack?' Alice asked and Jack seemed to consider it.

'When it came to your mom, maybe yes.'

'Dawson always lived for drama, only I think he may now be regretting it,' Jen looked after their friend.

'Well now I feel crappy,' Pacey muttered. 'I mean it's supposed to be his big night.'

'You should have told him how mom made you sleep on the couch for a month when she found out she was having twins,' Alice suggested.

'Except she missed him so much she kept joining him there,' Josh pointed out.

'You know it hasn't always been easy you two,' Joey reprimanded.

'Exactly. Your mom is not an easy lady.'

'What?' Joey glared.

'I'm with my brother on this one,' Doug piped up.

'Yep, it's true,' Jack shrugged,

'Sorry bestie,' Jen also shrugged.

'I agree,' Charlie, Jen's partner concurred.

'Well he's not easy either,' Joey pouted in irritation.

'I'm a slob, yeah, yeah...' Pacey grinned.

'You're not you know,' Joey answered, 'but you are annoyingly perfect. And you're never sure of yourself. You have always blamed yourself when things go wrong.'

'Well sometimes it's my fault.'

'Like when?' Jen asked with a roll of her eyes. 'I mean she's right Pace. You're one of my best friends but you are on it with blaming yourself.'

'Fine. When I lost my job when Josh was a baby.'

'Your fault how?' Doug asked.

'It was my job and I lost it.'

'The economy was crappy and you lost your job. Lots of people did,' Jack pointed out.

'Still it was my fault.'

'The only fault you had at that time was wallowing in despair for a week blaming yourself,' Joey tutted. 'Yes it was awful thinking we might lose our place or not be able to eat, but once Jack kicked your ass you got over it. You went to every restaurant in Boston and you got a better job, earning more.'

'Fine, ok, I admit it I blame myself. I'm sorry. God this is all my fault,' he sighed dramatically and dropped his head to the table, Alice reaching over and rubbing his back.

'Ok kids, let's get a wriggle on and get into this movie theatre,' Doug clapped his hands, then paused for a second, 'you know Alice, the actor that plays your dad has been making eyes at you.'

'That sounds kind of gross Uncle Doug,' she scowled.

'Though think of the kudos you'd get if you tweeted a photo of yourself with him,' her brother pointed out.

'Except of course that would violate your mom and dads no tweeting at the premiere rule,' Jen pointed out.

'You could tweet it uncle Jack,' Alice announced triumphantly. 'I mean he is gorgeous.'

'Hey what now?' Jack looked up from the chip structure he was building. 'What am I tweeting?'

'A mythical picture of your niece with her film dad. He's been staring,' Doug told them.

'And why am I tweeting it?'

'Because most of the kids at school follow you,' Josh rolled his eyes.

'They do?' Jack grinned proudly.

'Yes.'

'Well if you get this picture I'll tweet it. I'll have to hashtag it "family time" else it would be inappropriate to tweet a picture of a student at something like this.'

'Sure, sure, whatever,' Alice gave her dad a triumphant look.

'Gotta get the photo sweet cheeks and let's not forget that you're here as your actual dad's date,' he shot a smug look at Joey who just widened her eyes in a look behind you manner. Pacey heeded her advice and turned to see the young punk. 'Hey,' he looked over the kid Dawson had cast to play his role. He had a roguish charm Pacey supposed. Too good looking, especially with those dark eyes that kept flicking to his daughter.

'Oh, um, hi. I wanted to come and introduce myself. I'm Tom Greyson,' he said it as if Pacey hadn't heard the name before. He stuck out his hand and Pacey shook it.

'Well I can't really comment on how well I think you play me because we haven't seen the film yet.'

'So you are Dawson Leery's childhood friends? You know there's a rumour going round that you married Sami...or you know the real life equivalent,' Tom stated with a quizzical tilt to his head.

'I married Joey. Like I said I've not seen the move yet but that sounds like the right person,' he nodded across the table, 'Jo, hun, this is the kid Dawson cast as me. Tom that's Joey.'

'Wow,' he murmured staring at Joey. 'He cast you well.'

'While we're at it we have Jen, blond bombshell from New York,' Pacey gestured.

'Hi Tom,' Jen waved and winked.

'Jack, the high school gay guy.'

'Hi Tom,' Jack also waved and winked, Doug laughing at the young actors blush.

'Doug my cop brother...'

'I make the film?'

'You sure did, except you aren't gay...' Tom eyed Jack and Doug's hands threaded together.

'Except I am,' Doug grinned.

'Jen's partner Charlie,' Pacey gestured. 'That's Josh, mine and Joey's son and this is Alice our daughter. _Who's fifteen_.'

'Dad,' Alice hissed.

'You guys have kids?' Tom's gaze flickered between Pacey and Joey. 'I mean, in the film...'

'It's semi autobiographical,' Joey pointed out. 'Meaning, not entirely based on fact,' she added sweetly.

'I know, I'm sorry,' he blushed. 'So um...you're married with two kids. The others are gonna find that pretty interesting.'

'Four kids actually,' Pacey pointed out.

'Wow,' his eyes flicked to Joey again.

'We're all looking forward to your movie,' Joey said kindly.

'I imagine it will be weird knowing the characters are based on all of you.'

'Extremely,' Jen nodded.

'You like playing me?' Pacey narrowed his eyes.

'Better than Richie liked playing Colby. You're pretty funny, well the way it's written.'

'I'm glad he wrote me that way,' Pacey shrugged easily.

'You mean with the fight and everything and you stealing Sami? I mean Joey,' he flushed.

'Pacey didn't steal me,' Joey pointed out firmly. 'He fell in love. We fell in love and I wasn't with Dawson in anyway when that happened. I hadn't been for a long, long time.'

'I guess there's a few instances of semi in the autobiographical nature of the movie,' Tom shifted clearly uncomfortable.

'Come on man, sit down,' Pacey shifted a seat, generously allowing Tom to slip into a seat between him and his daughter. 'How old are you kid?'

'Nearly eighteen,' he reached for a bottle of water and poured a glass.

'You look older.'

'I'm the youngest. The others are all twenty, but look younger. They cast us to look authentically young. They didn't want it to be a case of a thirty year old playing high school kids.'

'Yeah, they could have just asked us if they wanted that,' Jack mused wryly and Doug laughed,

'Sure honey, we're not old,' he responded.

'Actually you're not,' Tom stated and Josh nodded,

'Most people at school who haven't met you before think you guys are my older siblings...'

'That's sweet but entirely untrue,' his mother ruffled his hair.

'Actually it's true. When I started high school and you brought me in my guitar everyone thought you were my good looking big brother, dad,' Alice informed him.

'And you don't wanna know what my friends think of you mom,' Josh blushed.

'Oh I think I do. Share please...' Joey teased.

'You play the guitar,' Tom had turned to Alice and Pacey stared at Joey with wide panicked eyes.

'You let him sit there,' she mouthed back, as oblivious to her parents Alice started talking to Tom about playing guitar since she was a kid.

'So buddy. You and your friends do drugs? Drink? Do all the crap we hear Hollywood is full of?' Pacey asked, abruptly interrupting.

'Uh...'

'Before you start sweet talking my little girl...'

'I don't do any of that crap,' Tom answered boldly and then flushed, 'well I drink a beer when I can get away with it but everyone knows how old I am. I wouldn't do drugs. I want to be a success and they mess you up.'

'Ok, back to your conversation,' Pacey conceded, especially as Joey had stood and walked round the table to drape her arms around him, and leaning her head over the top of his pressed a kiss to his forehead. 'Hmmm,' as always he found himself relaxing, the hum of conversation around the table fading from his ears.

'Let her have fun and talk to a boy,' she whispered. 'Especially one that had the guts to approach her at a table full of her family.'

'Ok,' he twisted in his chair to stare at his wife. 'We're going in a minute anyway right? To the film?'

'We are,' she smiled.

'God, you look beautiful,' he ran his gaze over her.

'Old compared to all these young kids.'

'Not old to me, just beautiful.'

'It was kind of fun reminiscing,' she admitted.

'Poor guy's face though,' Pacey pursed his lips trying to swallow his amusement.

'You're a little pleased you got the girl, huh?'

'I'm a lot pleased, even eighteen years after the event. I'll be just as thrilled in seventy years.'

'But you shouldn't gloat,' she warned.

'And I won't gloat at all when he comes to our home and sees all our gorgeous kids, and meets Ned, and gets to see how utterly wonderful you are, and that you're just as beautiful in a skirt and sweater as you are in this wonderful, wonderful evening gown.'

'You don't look so bad yourself,' she pressed a kiss to the crook of his neck, a place that always made him squirm with pleasure.

'Can't wait for our hotel room,' he groaned softly.

'Me either,' she nipped the lobe of his ear before standing up. 'Lets get going before Doug bursts a blood vessel from stressing over how late we might be.'

'The seats are assigned you know Dougy,' Jen teased.

'But it would be awkward if we walked in after the movie starts.'

'Yeah, I would be in big trouble if that happens,' Tom agreed. 'Uh, Alice, you uh, wanna walk in with me?'

'You mean on the red carpet?' Jack asked him for Alice, a little starry eyed.

'Uh yeah.'

'Hell no,' Pacey shook his head as Alice's face fell.

'It's just going to the movies,' Joey defended still wrapped around him.

'And being papped,' Pacey pointed out.

'I'll just say she's a friend,' Tom offered, staring at Alice with a look Pacey recognized because he wore it whenever in the vicinity of Alice's mother. 'I just...I feel like we have more to talk about.'

'Fine,' he huffed because he knew better than to forbid or yell. Josh was allowed to date at fifteen and despite his overprotective streak he knew Alice was smart and fully capable, and should be treated no differently to her brother. Alice's sunny smile was a good reward,

'Thank you daddy,' the extra d.y. clearly slipping out by mistake resulting in her cheeks stained with red, but then Tom was whispering something and she was smiling and they were once again ensconced in a private conversation.

'Time to hustle people,' Doug stated and they all stood, Josh walking beside his parents.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey all,**

 **Thanks for the great feedback and support! I love getting the reviews so thanks and please keep it up. It's always nice to know what people think. This would have been longer - there was about two thousand more words to this part but it won't upload so will be on the next one. We had a mega storm here over the weekend and the Internet is still temperamental.**

 **Please review! Thanks, Tab xx**

 **p.s. There is a mini mature ish scene. You can skip it pretty easily.**

How We Got Here

 _Present day - Later that evening - Los Angeles - Ritz Hotel_

'What did you think?'

'What did I think?' Pacey smiled at Joey, 'I think I can't decide if you're sexier in your clothes or out of them,' he mused running a lazy hand down the bare skin of her back.

'I meant of Dawson's movie,' she laughed.

'Oh that,' he teased, 'I don't think he meant it to happen but Colby seemed a bit self centred.'

'Unlike Dawson,' Joey agreed with heavy sarcasm.

'Well fine, but Sami was sassy and smart. Do you really think we fought like that?'

'There were direct quotes. Dawson's always had a memory for stuff like that. I quite liked how we were portrayed on screen - I think the audience affinity would have been with us...'

'Even if you weren't completely biased?' he asked with a smile.

'Yes. How boring was the Sami Colby relationship? There was no spark. I mean it was sweet when they first got together. It was sweet when Dawson and I did in real life but it tanked pretty quickly.'

'So did you or didn't you buy the soulmate stuff? The mythical reunion at his mom's wedding, Jen dying...I mean all that stuff. Petey telling Sami he'd always love her and her going for Colby because they're soulmates? I mean the graduation fight scene was good. I'll give him that but I just felt like a different outcome should have happened in the end.'

'That's because it did dummy, in real life. That film was his fantasy and it didn't happen that way, so of course we think it should have happened differently.'

'What if you hadn't got pregnant with Josh? What then?' Pacey pushed her hair behind her ears, and held her eyes.

'You mean if there had been no Josh or Alice and we had we gone back to Capeside for this mythical wedding and Dawson had declared his love of me like Colby did? Would I have been swayed? Would I have chosen Dawson?'

'Yeah I guess?' he leaned on his elbow so he could look at her.

'No,' she shook her head. 'I've always known it was you. I don't know what I think of the whole soulmate thing, maybe Dawson was a soulmate of sorts at one time but really I think if there had ever been a you and I, well I'd have wanted you. Even if there hadn't been a you and I...I don't think there would have been a Dawson and I. What about you and soulmates?'

'It's crap, that's what I think,' he stated rolling back onto his back.

'So you don't think we're soul mates?' she asked rolling on top of him, resting her hands on his chest and her chin on her hands.

'You and I?' he asked, taken aback, as if he'd never considered the notion.

'Yes, you and I,' she rolled her eyes so characteristically that he kissed her.

'You're the love of my life,' he offered.

'But not your soulmate?' she sounded a mite offended.

'Well hun, you know that term drove me mad for a fair few years hearing Dawson make it so everyone thought you were soul mates do therefore destined for one another.'

'It's been eighteen years sweetheart, you're clearly the love of my life. I'm an old friend of Dawson's _not_ his soul mate.'

'Am I yours then?' he asked clearly intrigued.

'You're my best friend and the love of my life. I mean I'm not sure I believe in soul mates, but my soul is inextricably entwined with yours. If there is such a thing then you're mine.'

'Well I agree with that. I've been in love with you so long that I feel like all of me is entwined with you.'

'Well it literally was a few minutes ago,' she teased.

'Shift down and it will be again,' he suggested and she laughed,

'Four kids and you want me to have sex twice in one night? Come on Pace...'

'But you're all sexy and naked and lying on top of me and telling me I'm the love of your life,' he pleaded trailing hands over her ass and squeezing.

'Meh, sure, why not,' she shrugged casually and he laughed helping her move down on top of him, both sighing as their bodies connected. 'I wanna come this time,' she told him rocking forward and watching his eyes roll as he attempted a nod,

'I'm sorry, I got carried away before...' he trailed his hands over her, pulling her down closer loving her soft moan.

'Oh I had a ton of fun as the bruises on my back will prove...' she smirked.

'I'm sor...'

'Shut up, I love my sex bruises,' she chided rocking harder and moaning again as she caught his lips in a long, passionate kiss. 'Come with me. I love it when I feel you coming as I do,' she pleaded at length and he nodded,

'Shouldn't be a problem,' with Joey it _never_ seemed to be a problem.

'Oh fuck,' she cursed at length and he thrust into her harder, suddenly desperate for his own release as she pushed herself down onto him harder and faster until he was coming and she was moaning loudly, collapsing on top of him as she tightened around him. 'Always the best kind of orgasm,' she whispered, licking his neck and then finding his lips and kissing him soundly. 'Can I sleep now?'

'We should check gossip sites, make sure there's nothing negative about that Tom Greyson and the premiere, especially not next to a photo of Alice.'

'Yep, definitely,' Joey rolled off of him and pulled on an old shirt of his before reaching for her iPad. 'You do Perez and I'll do Jared.'

'I'm just gonna type a general search of Tom Greyson and The Creek into Google,' Pacey stated,

'Ooh fancy,' she teased. 'Ok I'll do Twitter, you do everything else then.' They both tapped away beside each other, until Pacey huffed,

'Woah, ok, apparently Dawson has a big following,' Pacey frowned, 'though they're saying the Petey character stole the show! A big fat ha to that.'

'You mean Tom Greyson has a big following,' Joey corrected as she looked over his shoulder before staring back at her iPad. 'And apparently he has a fondness of our daughter,' she showed Pacey an instagrammed and tweeted photo by Tom. It was a picture of Alice, up close and beautifully lit. You could just see the hint of his tux jacket collar, the coat clearly on her. She looked beautiful. There were about a bazillion hashtags.

'Fuck,' he swore, 'hashtag beautiful girl, hashtag falling, hashtag after party...'

'Calm,' Joey slipped her hand into his. They always slept so her left hand could hold his right and that way they could hold hands as they read or drank coffee in bed or indeed read on their iPads about how a young actor was apparently infatuated with their fifteen year old daughter. 'He likes her.'

'I know, that's what worries me.'

'She's smart enough to navigate this kind of thing.'

'Even if she's star struck?'

'Even then. Trust her.'

'Oh I do, I do. It's everyone else I don't trust. The public can be cruel. Perez is asking who's the girl. Jared's wondering. I mean I don't want that for her. The cruelty of the general public when she's a kid.'

'Let's hope we raised her with self esteem to withstand what they might throw at her,' Joey said and then frowned, 'I couldn't have. Not then. Not even now despite how confident you've made me feel. I'd crumble.'

'Our baby is wonderful and shouldn't be made to crumble.'

'We'll talk to her. Be sure she knows what seeing him will involve. At least he's based in LA.'

'He's actually filming his next movie in Boston. Six month shoot,' Pacey admitted. 'Fuck.'

'You were never gonna be keen on anyone coming near Alice, yet you love Ellie.'

'I know Ellie, and Josh feels about her, like I felt about you. Alice feels more vulnerable.'

'Anyone in love is vulnerable to hurt.'

'But...'

'Perhaps Josh more so than Alice because he's adored Ellie for years. Don't be sexist About it and have one set of standards for Josh and a different set for Alice. Like I said we'll talk to her and it'll be ok.'

'Ok,' he nodded. 'I'm not sexist am I?'

'I don't mean that really. I know you've always worried about Alice more.'

'Well she almost died,' he said. 'The fact that she's a girl is just coincidence.'

'I know. Fifteen years ago she nearly didn't make it but she's fine now. She's going to be fine. She's talented and smart and beautiful and you can't let her think she has something more to be worried about than the others. Let her be the confident, sassy girl she is. And don't let Josh or the others think you worry more about her than them.'

'You're right.'

'I'm always right,' she grinned and he smiled back,

'Yep you are,' he agreed and smiled at the photo Jack had tweeted of he, Alice and Josh with Tom. He'd hash tagged it family time as he said he would, and a bunch of other stuff as well. 'It's a cute photo but I hate Twitter.'

'I know. I love it.'

'Give me Facebook any day of the week.'

'Says the Instagram nut.'

'Whatever,' he put his iPad aside and she did the same as they sunk down into the bed and switched out the lights. 'I love you Jo. It was nice reminiscing tonight.'

'It made me feel nostalgic watching Dawson's film too. Seemed a lot simpler for us than it is for the kids.'

'It was,' he sighed, 'I think we were the last lot before the world of cellphones, Internet, Facebook, Instagram and tweeting.'

'Don't forget snapchat.'

'Ugh. I mean remember when I used to pass you notes in class?'

'I know. Now they text.'

'We sound old Jo,' Pacey smiled.

'Well we're older than we were.'

'Ellie's mom is sixty,' Pacey pointed out.

'Yeah, ok, we're young for parents, to be at this point in the parenting game, but still. Looking at Alice flirt with Tom, made me feel old. Watching Dawson attempt to portray our youth, God it makes me feel really old and kinda sad.'

'Maybe we should go to the cottage weekend after next?'

'Oh I'd love a trip to Capeside,' Joey sighed. 'With everyone.'

'Jen's going anyway because she's arranged with Grams to visit with Amy. I don't think Jack and Doug will be that hard to sway,' Pacey pointed out.

'I'd really like to go home for the weekend then,' she buried her face in his neck.

'Jo, are you ok?' he considered himself pretty good at reading his wife but she had been quiet lately.

'Yeah, I'm ok. Just homesick. Which is stupid because home is wherever you and the kids are. Maybe past sick? Worried about the further sick?'

'I know. I think of Josh going to college and I feel sick, so sick I think I might actually throw up,' he pouted.

'I know, exactly that. It feels like we're running out of time with our kids.'

'But then we have you and me time.'

'We all know I'm a big fan of that. I just...I miss the pyjama days, you know little people running in and jumping on us every morning, stories with them snuggled up against us, the fights over who got our laps. I miss the feel of a little baby lying on my shoulder...'

'I miss it too Jo, hun, you know I do. I loved all of that, even the tough bits, but I'm excited to have you to myself again. Jay and Edie are nearly thirteen, and it's not like we're gonna stop being Josh's parents when he's at college. He'll still need us.'

'But then Alice will go. And where's she going to go? What if she goes to New York, or worse, to the west coast?'

'We'll still be her parents. We can afford as many trips out west as we want. Remember?'

'Ok. Not that she's going to want her mom and dad turning up.'

'Of course she is. This is Alice!'

'Ok,' she pressed a kiss to his chest. 'I love you Pace.'

'You'd tell me if something more was up, right? You've been so quiet lately.'

'I would. You know that,' she curled into him, the position she always took to fall asleep.

'Sleep well Jo,' he whispered.

 _One week later - Boston - Joey and Pacey's house_

'Pace, we need to talk,' Joey stated purposefully as she strode into the kitchen, taking the coffee he held out to her and then putting it down again and taking his hand instead.

'Mom, have you seen my script? Josh swears he didn't touch it but he was messing with his skateboard on the table last night and that's where I left it,' Alice stormed in oblivious to Joey's request.

'I didn't see your script and shouldn't it be in your room if it's so precious?' Josh also appeared and grabbed an apple and bit into it, leaning against the breakfast bar.

'Did you move the script Josh?' Joey asked.

'I didn't touch the damn script,' Josh frowned.

'Language,' Joey reprimanded and her son mouthed an apology. 'Ok, did you lay down newspaper before messing with your skateboard?'

'Well yeah, after you and dad flipped out last week about the mark on the table...'

'Check the recycling bin,' Joey nodded at her daughter.

'Thanks mom,' Alice glared at her brother and headed for the garage.

'Josh I need to talk to dad.'

'Go ahead,' he munched the apple and poured himself a coffee.

'Without you,' she rolled her eyes.

'Don't mind me, I'm just waiting here to take Edie to dance class, so you can both go collect Dawson at the airport.'

'Has Edie even had breakfast?' Joey sighed.

'She's debating between black leggings and grey ones with butterflies on them,' Josh informed them.

'Ugh,' Joey growled.

'Hun, I'll handle Edie, leggings and breakfast. You have your coffee,' Pacey picked up the mug and thrust it at her, 'because everything is better with coffee. Right?'

'I need to talk to you,' she repeated.

'We can talk in the car on the way to the airport? That ok?'

'I guess,' she nodded.

'Mom have you seen my hat?' Jay appeared, hugging his dad as Pacey headed upstairs to check on Edie's progress. He was already tall for twelve and thin as a bean. Joey lamented over how quickly he was growing. He and Edie had been the same size for years but in the last six months Jay had grown four inches and Edie remained small and dainty, even with the onset of puberty.

'It should be in your room. It has to still be there because after scouts last week I asked you three times to please out your hat in your room.'

'I'll go check my room,' Jay grinned but instead gave his mom a hug, 'you look nice.'

'Remember mom and dads old friend is coming over? Barbecue here before your sisters play.'

'Like I'd forget that,' Jay rolled his eyes. 'The big Hollywood director is coming to our house. My friends are mega jealous. Well Ben is. Theo doesn't believe me at all, so I'm getting Uncle Jack to take a picture of me with Dawson and tweet it.'

'No you're not,' Joey shook her head. 'No social media until thirteen.'

'Ugh,' Jay scowled. 'You let Alice date a film star and yet I can't tweet?'

'Alice is old enough to handle it. She's asked Tom not to put anything of her on social network sites anymore and he's respecting that. Just show Ben and Theo at school tomorrow.'

'But then no one else will know,' he pouted.

'No one being Hannah?'

'I didn't say that,' Jay blushed.

'Look, take a picture. Do a presentation for humanities. The blurring of reality in Hollywood today, something like that. Is Hollywood being allowed to rewrite history? You know all that stuff you like analyzing so much.'

'Because Dawson messed up the film?'

'He didn't mess it up,' Joey defended, 'it was his interpretation. And that's just it. We put all this personal stuff out there and how do we know how it's going to be interpreted? Tell whoever you want that the film is about us, tell them Dawson came over, tell them we were at the premiere and Tom Greyson wants to date your sister. Share everything but then _they_ have everything hun.'

'Who are they?' Jay frowned again.

'Anyone who might want to gossip, who might want to spread rumours. Someone who might be jealous. They might see a picture of Tom with a female costar and say he's cheating on Alice. They might say why Alice isn't worthy. They might start asking questions about me and dad. Is it true I'm actually in love with Dawson? Silly things like that which you know aren't true but are blurred through all the information out there. I'm not saying don't share things but not everyone needs to know everything.'

'I would hate it if people said stuff about you and dad. I'd hate it if they said stuff about Alice, or any of the others.'

'Not everyone is kind and sweet. People can be especially cruel when they can do it from behind a computer screen.'

'Ok mom, I get it. I can tell Ben and Theo though?'

'Of course. And if Hannah happens to overhear that might be ok,' she teased.

'Ok, I better go hunt for my hat.'

'Yeah, you better,' she kissed his head as he ran out narrowly missing his sister who was skipping ahead of Pacey wearing blue and black stripy leggings.

'Good choice on the leggings kiddo,' Joey stated as Edie grabbed a bowl and spoon and pouring a bowl of cereal sat at the table with Josh.

'Thanks mom,' Edie smiled. Edie was surprisingly blond and dainty, not that the others weren't, she just didn't seem to be growing to the heights of her siblings, not yet at least. She was extremely girly, usually pulling on a rah rah skirt over the top of her leggings though today she had her dance leotard on underneath.

'Feeling ok about dance class?' Joey sat beside her, Pacey opposite.

'Miss Edie and I have talked it through and she's feeling ok. Right?' Pacey gave his daughter a smile and a wink.

'Right,' she nodded.

'What happened at dance class?' Josh frowned putting down the newspaper.

'Oh I told Kellsy I like girls and she got all funny with me, refusing to share a changing room.'

'You are kidding me?' Josh stared at his little sister.

'Nope.'

'Some kids are idiots,' Josh tutted.

'Some kids have parents who are idiots,' Joey muttered. 'Not everyone can be rational about things. Some parents teach their kids to fear difference or teach them that they are meant to judge people according to their own beliefs.'

'What do you mean?'

'Oh Kellsy's mom called me up...'

'She accused mom of shoving the gay agenda down my throat. Insisting I couldn't possibly know at twelve how I feel.'

'To which you said?' Josh asked his mother.

'I said that Edie is a fabulous girl and we are extremely proud of her. She likes girls. Big deal. She may decide she likes boys, or both, or stick to girls but none of that bothers me or her dad at all so long as she's happy. We are extremely pleased that she feels happy being herself.'

'I'm happy,' Edie shrugged easily.

'I also asked if she knew she liked boys at twelve, asked who she had posters on her wall of. Of course she said she's always known she liked boys at which point I told her that Edie has consistently liked girls.'

'She suggested they try and sway me before I get too old,' Edie snickered.

'How do you know this?' Pacey asked sharing a worried glance with Joey.

'Oh Kellsy's mom told Kellsy and she told me.'

'Told you when? She isn't at your school right?' Joey asked worriedly.

'Oh she sent an email just to let me know,' Edie seemed nonplussed.

'And you're ok with this?' Josh asked. 'I mean I can stay at the studio and do my math homework there?'

'Thanks but it's ok,' Edie didn't look bothered.

'You're sure?' Joey asked, 'because Josh can...'

'Seriously mom it's fine. Kellsy told me she told Lucia and Lucia emailed me to tell me I'm awesome and that I shouldn't worry about people who can't cope. It's not like I told Kellsy I liked her, sheesh. I just thought we were friends and she kept asking if I had a boyfriend.'

'You don't have a girlfriend right?' Pacey asked, instantly protective, 'because twelve is a little young. Fifteen, but only if she's nice and smitten with you...'

'No I don't have a girlfriend,' Edie never seemed to get embarrassed, the most confident of their children. She was and had always been entirely happy with who she was. The fact that she was sweet and kind usually meant she was adored. 'But if I think I've found one I'll be sure to get your approval dad,' she wrinkled her nose at her dad and giggled.

'I still can't believe Tom Greyson got your approval,' Josh snickered.

'That...' Pacey began as the doorbell went and Ned began to bark, 'that remains to be seen. So far we're ok...' he headed into the hallway and opened the door after scooping up the puppy. 'Dawson!' He stared in shock.

'Surprise,' Dawson grinned holding out a bottle of wine and a bunch of flowers. 'My flight got in early so I jumped in a cab.'

'Come in, come in. We're in chaos as everyone is trying to get out at the same time but come in.'

'This place is amazing,' Dawson looked around him at the house. Pacey loved their house. He and Joey had designed it after the successful release of her first book, just before she fell pregnant with the twins. They moved in a week before the twins were born. It was an awesome house with reading nooks, a big fireplace, tons of hidden bookshelves for Joey's ever increasing collection. There was a music room and a basement with enough space for dancing practice and a pool table. The kids each had their own rooms and they had two spare rooms for guests and their kids. The kitchen was big with a breakfast bar so he could chat to the kids as he made breakfast. The big farmhouse dining table had a great collection of chairs around it and it always had fresh flowers in the middle that everyone claimed blocked their view of everyone else. The walls were almost universally white but covered in picture frames filled with artwork from the kids, photos of the kids and photos of he and Joey. The rugs were thick and lush and the furniture though worn was clean and comfortable with tons of cushions and blankets. The house was perfect. Dawson was still staring, looking over photos from beaches, up mountains, in restaurants, all artfully taken to not be too posy. The photo's were nearly all taken by Joey who loved photography and most particularly catching her children and husband in the perfect pose. There were a few of Joey. He would always steal the camera and turn it on her because he loved her.

'Who's the little blond girl?' he pointed to the first photo on the wall of all four children together.

'Edie. Our little throw back girl.'

'Throw back?'

'You know, good gene pool, recessive genes and all that. Jay came out with black hair and Edie came out with blond. Her hair is a little less blond now but she's still very fair.'

'She's gorgeous.'

'Despite the colouring she looks like her mom. She has my eyes, but everything else is Jo. Come in and meet the real deal before Josh takes her to dance class,' Pacey suggested as Edie chose that moment to pirouette her way into the hall.

'Going to do my teeth,' she sang. 'Hello,' she smiled at Dawson.

'Dawson, Edie. Edie, Dawson,' Pacey introduced and watched Edie's head tilt sideways as she appraised him.

'I have dance class but I'll be at the barbecue. Maybe I can ask you a few questions?'

'Sure,' Dawson laughed.

'Nothing awful,' she assured him, 'but I had some thoughts on your film.'

'Ok,' Dawson nodded, 'but I shouldn't be worried?'

'No,' she shook her head, 'I thought it was very interesting. I especially liked the fire scene. I mean my mom told us about that, obviously, but it was always hard to really get how awful it was. My grandpa is still in jail you know?'

'I didn't...'

'He got out and recommitted again. Mom still goes to see him on his birthday. We're allowed to go but only if we want. I always go.'

'You do?'

'It must be lonely in prison,' she explained. 'Anyway teeth, dance and see ya later,' she bowed slightly and bolted up the stairs.

'She's an utter cutie,' Dawson stated and it sounded so sincere that Pacey grinned,

'She's always done things her own Edie way. I don't know what we'd do without her.'

'Dad,' Josh stated coming into the hall, holding out his hand to Dawson as he saw the older man, 'oh hey. Hi.'

'Hi. Nice to see you again Josh.'

'Nice to see you too. Thanks again for the whole LA trip. It was pretty awesome.'

'You're very welcome. Any news from Harvard?'

'Yeah. I got in,' he blushed a little but couldn't help but smile.

'His mother is thrilled he's staying local,' Pacey hugged his son, 'so's his dad.'

'Well done,' Dawson offered up.

'Dad I talked to mom and I'm gonna stay with Edie. I just don't feel right leaving her there with that homophobic twerp and her homophobic mom.'

'Fine, but let Edie handle it. She does great.'

'I'll just be there as backup,' Josh promised before jogging up the stairs. Dawson raised his eyebrows in question,

'Edie likes girls. She told a friend and the friend freaked out. Friends mom freaked out, and so on. Edie's good though. She just battles small mindedness with logic. She's awesome.'

'She came out?' Dawson asked.

'She's twelve but she's said from the minute she could talk that she wanted to marry a girl. Since puberty hit she's said she likes girls. She's made it clear she's not coming out but letting us know that hasn't changed. She says she's pretty sure she's gay but she's still young and that she'll maybe come out in a year or two. She doesn't want any labels just yet which I think is totally great. She's wonderfully honest.'

'She seems to be pretty amazing,' Dawson said and Pacey smiled,

'She's really is. Anyway come through,' he pulled Dawson through to the kitchen which was clean (thanks to the cleaner) and tidy (thanks to the kids being trained very early to clear up after themselves or else face their mothers wrath) and it smelt of coffee and toast. 'Look who arrived early!' Joey turned,

'Dawson! You're here. Wow,' she gave him a hug. 'Let me get you a coffee. You must be tired?'

'A little.'

'Do you want some toast? I'll make it...' Pacey offered taking a dig at Joey.

'I don't burn toast anymore. Ignore him.'

'Yes please toast would be great.'

'Mom, please can you tell Alice to be ready soon else I'll be late for scouts,' Jay's voice grew louder as he entered the room. 'Oh hey,' he looked at Dawson.

'Dawson this is Jay, Jay this is Dawson,' Joey introduced.

'Hey, nice to meet you,' he eyed Dawson wearily.

'You off to scouts?'

'Yep,' he nodded.

'Cool. Your dad and I were in scouts together. We didn't love it.'

'All my friends go. I'm not so crazy about the uniform but we do cool stuff.'

'Jay, ask your sister nicely to hurry and I can always drive you if she isn't ready.'

'Why can't I just walk myself?'

'Just because,' Joey muttered.

'This kid on my school got killed on the road where my scout group meet a couple of months ago,' Jay explained to Dawson, 'my mom and dad now prefer to have Josh or Alice go with us.'

'You walk to school alone,' Joey pointed out.

'Two blocks away mom.'

'I'm over protective, I'm sorry. I'll do better,' she muttered.

'Ah, it's ok,' he pressed his head to hers. 'I love you.'

'Love you too. Alice will pick you up ok?'

'It's ok, Ben's dad will drop me off.'

'Ok, great. Have fun.'

'Will do. Nice to meet you Dawson. See you later,' he waved cheerily.

'He's cute,' Dawson smiled.

'He's just like Pacey,' Joey laughed and Pacey pinched her ass, unseen by Dawson as he put coffee on the table and headed back to the toaster. 'Oh he's so you. All glib, happy go lucky.'

'And not book smart,' Pacey said.

'But smart where it matters,' Joey said.

'Yep, definitely smart where it matters. What cha want on your toast D?'

'Butter sounds good.'

'Jay made jam,' Pacey said.

'Jay?'

'With Jen's help. She was channelling Grams.'

'Well then yeah, why not!'

'It's good,' Joey told him and smiled warmly at Pacey when he put two slices in front of her as well. 'Thanks Pace.'

'Anytime,' he slipped into the seat beside her. 'Catch us up on how The Creek's doing? Jen and Jack should be over in a half hour or so.'

'The reception has been great,' Dawson admitted but then looked out the window. 'Eccept the critics, they all hate the Colby character. It's funny. It's only since talking to you all before the premiere that I can see it.'

'See what?' Pacey asked.

'How self involved I was back then. I thought I was kind hearted and well liked but God I messed up a lot. Watching it on screen after knowing how things really ended, it was like I was seeing the things you did for Joey and the things you did for Pacey, seeing it all with new knowledge and I can see what the critics meant.'

'Meant about what?'

'It's funny actually. They're saying Sami should have ended up with Petey. Which of course she did.'

'They are?'

'Apparently they have more chemistry. God guys - where did I go so wrong? I had it all fixed in my head, you know the way everything happened and I was really wrong. I mean you noticed Joey back in Sophomore year. I watch those scenes in the film now and I see what they're all talking about. The caustic but caring banter. You took her to see her dad, bribed a guard. The scenes are all in there and yet...I missed it. I saw it all through the glint of my own inflated self worth.'

'Hang on a second Dawson,' Pacey shook his head, 'there was nothing inflated about your worth. You know what you didn't manage to capture in your film?'

'What?' Dawson leant back in his chair.

'What you meant to me and Joey. How much we needed you. You were the stability we both needed and didn't get at home. You were all starry eyed and full of life and capable of anything and it rubbed off a little. On both of us.'

'He's right,' Joey put a hand on Dawson's arm.

'I just...I wish I'd been in touch before I made the stupid movie. I think the ending would have been better.'

'Meh, make a sequel,' Pacey grinned until Dawson laughed,

'Yeah, maybe I should.'

'Definitely,' Joey confirmed. 'But Dawson, the whole point of a semi autobiographical work is that it tells your story. That film is wonderful in many ways and it really reflects a time that is gone forever. It's so different for our kids and I loved giving them the insight into what it was like for kids in general back then. It also gave them a really lovely and very realistic look at how life was for Pace and I.'

'It was uh, realistic,' Dawson hedged. 'I mean except for my naive missing of the bigger picture.'

'It was a little awkward when Grandma and Gramps came over,' Pacey smirked. 'I have to say I didn't mind my dad getting a few pointed questions from the kids about how he treated me. Of course he dotes on the kids, all of them. He's the opposite of how he was with me.'

'Has he stopped drinking?'

'No,' Pacey shook his head. 'But when Jo and I took Josh to meet them, Jo here told my dad he couldn't hold the baby because he was intoxicated and being an ass. She was brilliant and dad, he took her at her word and he's never been drunk when we're going over there and never been drunk when he's here.'

'Shame he couldn't have managed that with his own son,' Joey muttered darkly. She might have a soft spot for John Witter as a grandpa but she hated him as a father.

'Is he retired?'

'Yeah, four years now. Heart issues forced him out.'

'They're still in Capesdie?'

'Yeah.'

'You get back there much? I haven't been back since my mom sold sixteen years ago.'

'We have a cottage there,' Joey told him. 'Right on the creek and we like to see Bessie and Bodie regularly.'

'Of course,' Dawson nodded, as Jen and Jack arrived, walking in without knocking, Amy tottering in holding her mom's hand.

'Hey guys,' Jen sang. 'I brought Amy so you could meet her D, but Charlie's gonna pick her up in an hour.'

'Doug will be over for the barbecue but he wanted to finish painting the nursery.'

'The nursery?' Dawson asked Jack with a smile.

'Um, yeah. We're adopting. A little girl. She's eighteen months and cute as a button, here...' Jack pulled out his cell phone and showed Dawson a bunch of pictures of a small, adorable Asian girl with bunches and glasses.

'She's gorgeous!'

'God, she makes my heart melt,' Jack stared at the picture. 'Her names Annie.'

'Cute name.'

'Yeah,' Jack smiled.

'Doug is absolutely loving setting up the nursery. He's painting butterflies on the wall and all sorts. It's really sweet,' Jack smiled softly.

'You and Dougy? I didn't see that coming,' Dawson looked at Jack but then turned his attention to Amy waving and grinning at the small girl who clung shyly to her mom.

'Oh that was destined,' Jen laughed. 'The minute Doug came out Pace and Jo were plotting.'

'They say opposites attract and so...' Joey justified.

'They do,' Jack grinned helping himself to coffee for he and Jen. 'Amy want toast?' he asked.

'Ame's you want some toast with momma and Jay's jam?'

'Jay,' Amy looked around.

'Amy has the biggest crush on Jay. It's quite adorable,' Pacey informed Dawson. 'Come on Ame's lets go get your toys,' Pacey scooped her up and had her giggling in seconds as he went to the den and grabbed some toys they kept there for her and other little kids.

'It feels like we only touched the tip of the iceberg on everything last week,' Dawson mused.

'It's been eighteen years Dawson,' Jen reminded him. 'Lots of stuff has happened.'

'Where do you all work even? I mean I know what I do but God, I don't have a clue. I mean this street is gorgeous so you gotta be doing well but at what?'

'Easy for me to answer that,' Jack grinned, 'I teach Witter kids English at the local high school.'

'A teacher!' Dawson smiled, 'that's actually rather perfect for you.'

'He's a great teacher. The kids all love him,' Joey filled in.

'what about you Jen?'

'I blog. Very successfully. Parenting issues and what not. I used to work for the Globe with Gretchen actually, but then I did travel blogging and then to this.'

'That's very cool.'

'She's brilliant,' Joey shrugged.

'And you Joey?'

'Oh,' Joey blushed and shook her head.

'Tell him,' Pacey encouraged.

'I got my degree from Worthington and then I worked part time at a publishers but I wanted to be with the kids. I stopped working there when I had Jay and Edie,' Joey shrugged.

'Really?' Dawson didn't hide his surprise terribly well. At her expression he apologized, 'I'm sorry. You just seemed so driven at school. I guess having kids young...'

'Before you put your foot in it D, Jo stopped working outside the home. She worked her butt off with our kids and they're the happy, well adjusted people they are thanks to her. So she worked in the home but also from home,' Pacey gave Joey a soft look.

'Oh,' Dawson flushed.

'I still do,' she murmured. 'I have an office which Pacey made perfect.'

'What do you do? Do you have your own business? Are you a mompreneur?'

'A what?' Jen and Joey caught each other's eyes and frowned.

'You know a mom with her own business. That's what they call them.'

'No, I'm a writer,' Joey shrugged looking down.

'A writer? Wow, that's amazing, I always knew you could be great.'

'I'm not great,' Joey shook her head.

'You are,' Jen flicked Joey's shoulder and looked at Dawson, 'she's hugely successful.'

'I would have thought I'd have seen your books then? It's not like I never googled you...I mean all of you...I just never really found anything...'

'Oh, only Pace has knowingly read her books,' Jack laughed.

'Joey is mega secretive about it. She has a pseudonym and everything,' Jen acknowledged with a nudge of Joey's arm.

'And none of you know what it is?'

'Pace does. He reads everything I write before I send it to my publisher.'

'It's great. She sells herself short.'

'Not that we can convince her of that,' Jen rolled her eyes. 'She's a millionaire or whatever from sales, Pacey raves about her awesome books and we get nada!'

'I'm pretty sure Dawson can relate to how exposed it can make you feel when you have people read or watch something you've created?' Joey looked to him and he nodded,

'I can,' he agreed, 'though I'm imagining your books aren't semi autobiographical?'

'Well no, but they do demonstrate how my mind functions.'

'Her mind is awesome,' Pacey took her hand. Even after nearly twenty years together he still wanted to have contact whenever possible. 'It is Joey.'

'It's not like I'm not proud, I just...I don't know, with the kids and everything I guess I just prefer my name out of the limelight.'

'Which we grudgingly accept and respect,' Jen pursed her mouth a little as if she were still slightly miffed but really she wasn't. It was after all, Joey and Pacey who had helped finance the purchase of her house next door to them when she had bemoaned her inability to ever buy.

'Yeah I can see that,' Dawson nodded, 'I mean if I have kids they're gonna be all over my film one day.'

'That they will,' Pacey grinned.

'So what about you Pace?' Dawson looked at his oldest friend.

'I have a restaurant in town. I was the chef there for a long, long time. Just after Josh was born I lost my job but then I got my position at Lemon Tree and I worked my way up to head chef. For a long time I just worked there. Then the restaurant went up for sale. We had moved in here. The twins were tiny babies but Jo asked if I wanted to buy it. I'd been planning my own restaurant for years. In the evenings I'd sketch out floor plans, write menus, even design servers uniforms. It's not super classy but the food is good, the atmosphere is fun and it's ours.'

'Wow. That's impressive.'

'It's thanks to Jo, really.'

'It feels like we should pick up where we left off last week. You know, Joey had just told you she was pregnant?' Dawson stated.

'Are you planning a sequel Dawson?' Jack asked, eyes narrowed, clearly teasing.

'Pacey said I should,' Dawson gave a self deprecating laugh. 'I mean really, as it stands, the film ended wrong. Even the critics...they like the movie, the direction, the style but they all agree Sami shouldn't have ended up with Colby. Perhaps there's more to tell.'

'Well now I'm not sure I want to be in a sequel,' Jen frowned. 'Oh that's right I wouldn't be - you killed me off!'

'I'm uh, really sorry about that,' Dawson blushed fuchsia.

'Dont be. I can't be in the sequel,' she waggled her eyebrows.

'Oh anything I wrote would be subject to all of your approval,' Dawson assured and Jen grinned,

'I was teasing, but I will hold you to that.'

'Sure. So what happened?'

'You mean after Joey told me?' Pacey clarified.

'Yeah.'

'Well I went to Worthington and they agreed to a semester off. Grams agreed to have the baby when I went back to school and Pace, he worked his butt off. Jen and Jack found roommates but still hung around with us even though we were suddenly old and boring.'

'They were never old and boring,' Jen mouthed.

'Maybe a little just after Josh was born,' Jack clarified, 'but he slept through really early and he didn't wake up when we had parties, or hung out. I mean Josh was special from day one.'

'Jack won the role of godparent after he delivered Josh on our kitchen floor,' Pacey grinned.

'But before that. What did Bessie say? What did your parents say?' he looked from Joey to Pacey.

'Telling Bessie was hard,' Joey nodded.

'Harder still because she'd only found out we were dating four months earlier.'

'How come?' Dawson frowned looking at Joey for an answer.

'Well I messed around with Pacey at the graduation party. I mean I knew I liked him and I knew he liked me but I hovered somewhere around denial that summer. I wrote him postcards because I missed him and he wrote such elaborate and imaginative postcards to me that I had to make sure I beat Bessie to the mail _every morning_!'

'I used to imagine you blushing your way through breakfast,' Pacey reminisced.

'I did. But it was one marathon make out session and post cards. I didn't tell Bessie because I wanted to see if it was more first. Then we had those three months in Boston where we couldn't ever seem to be apart. I was loved up and selfish and Bessie called me but I'd chat and really want to get back to Pace. She was busy with the B&B and I was busy with college and Pace so Bessie didn't actually know I was dating Pace until we went back to Capeside for Christmas and then at Spring break to tell her I was pregnant.'

'Oh my god...I can't even imagine!'

'I mean she knew I had a boyfriend. It was obvious I was loved up and she was thrilled but I kinda wanted her to find out it was Pacey in person. I didn't know what she's think or say and then it was all more complicated...'

'Oh tell me...' Dawson urged.

 _Seventeen years and four months earlier - Boston train to Capeside - Springbreak_

'She's gonna be mad, so mad. God Pace, I can't even imagine what she'll think. She did everything she could to give me this opportunity and I've just thrown it away...'

'Jo, you didn't do this on purpose. _We_ didn't do this on purpose. Sometimes life changes course and it's all about how we deal with it.'

'I know, I know. But this? Coming home for Spring Break and telling her hey Bess, You remember my boyfriend? Pacey? Well we're having a baby and moving in together. That was not how I imagined this trip. Oh god and Bodie,' she bit her fingernails.

'Jo they're you're family and they love you.

'Aren't you worried _at all_?' She glared at him. 'I mean you have to tell your family too you know.'

'Ah but frauline, my family don't care and expect something like this. They're gonna be awful about it, but they're always awful.'

'Bessie is gonna heap the disappointment on with a shovel,' Joey continued to bite her nail. 'I think I'm gonna be sick Pace.'

'Morning sickness?' He asked hurriedly handing her the paper bag his sandwich had come in.

'No fear. We're here and they're going to be there. We should have rode back with Jen, Jack and Grams.'

'Even though there wasn't room?' he asked with a smile, taking her hand.

'Why are you so calm?' she looked at him her voice rising, 'I mean she's going to kill you when she's done with me. Bodie may well castrate you,' she pointed out meanly.

'You're right,' he blanched, 'I mean they won't blame you - they'll blame me. Everyone will blame me because you're amazing and this...this is exactly what I'm known for.'

'What?' she hadn't meant that.

'Screwing up. I'm a screw up. I messed up school for me and now for you and...'

'Pacey no,' she shook her head and turned his head, 'you are not going to make this about you screwing up. We both messed up with birth control, we're both having a baby and we've both already decided that changing plans doesn't equate to screwing them up. So I graduate a little later. So we have to bring the fun to us...whatever. We'll do it. Screwing up would have been getting me pregnant and going out and getting drunk and telling me to deal with it. Or running away. You told me it would be alright and it will. We are only about convincing everyone else of that. They're going to be down on us so you can't be. I'm weak and hormonal so I need you strong.'

'Of course,' he pressed his head to hers. 'I'm sorry. I'm just scared I guess. More than I like to admit. I don't want anyone to say I've ruined your life because that's what I'm scared of. Everyone knows how much I adore you. I imagine anyway. I mean I followed you round like a love sick puppy for years. This is like taking the gold at the Olympics for me - having you be with me. In their heads...and you know what...in reality. I'm happy. I'm excited. I'm thrilled that you and I will forever be connected. I mean I love and adore you and this...it's all I ever wanted. A little early maybe, but this is my Worthington.'

For a few seconds they stared at each other in silence and he watched her face as she absorbed the words and then she spoke, the words fierce in their sincerity,

'I'm glad. I'm glad your dream has come true because you deserve more than you can know. I don't think I've ever known anyone quite like you. You could take away this baby, you could take away sex, you could take away love and you'd still be my best friend. I don't know anyone kinder, or sweeter, or funnier, or...God...just as God damned perfect as you. So I'm glad. You have your Worthington and I'll have mine and everyone else can stuff it.'

'I love you,' he kissed her, far too enthusiastically for the train, but at length they broke apart. 'You're still terrified, right?'

'Hell yeah,' she stood as the train came to a stop and pulled on her back pack, Pacey doing the same before grabbing their holdall.

'Well let's go face the music,' he nodded in front of him and she led the way, taking his hand after they were off the train.

'We can do this,' she stated confidently and took his hand leading them from the platform and into the fairly quiet station.

'Joey,' Bessie's screech echoed around the station, but then she was throwing her arms around her sister, Bodie and Alex also joining in. 'It's so good to see you. I missed you so much, it's strangely quiet without you stomping around.'

'Well you got me for two weeks.'

'How you doing Pace?' Bessie asked as Bodie hugged Joey.

'Great actually,' he smiled.

'They were holding hands,' Bodie stated with a smirk and Bessie grinned,

'You're still together!'

'Of course we are' Joey pointed out primly as they headed out of the station.

'Tell me, tell me, tell me, you don't call enough,' Bessie chastised pulling Joey ahead of the boys. 'Hmm, so how close are you and Pacey?'

'Well you know,' Joey rolled her eyes, 'I love him.' Her sister smiled,

'And? Have you done _it_?' Bessie hissed.

'Well, yeah,' Joey flushed - after all she couldn't lie.

'And?' Bessie half screeched.

'And it was wonderful,' Joey couldn't deny her sister that tibit.

'Of course it was, it's Pacey,' Bessie hugged her, 'you made such a good choice.'

'I did.'

'But you're living with him and going out together. Is that a good idea? I mean I know...I know you're mostly grown but seriously...'

'Bessie I have to tell you something...'

'What? That you want Pacey to stay over for the vacation? He can stay but no funny business. Not with Alex...'

'It's not that,' Joey stopped, 'I mean yes I would like him to stay but...God,' she put a hand to her head surprised at how hard it was to breathe, at the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes at the thought of disappointing her sister.

'What? What?' Bessie had stopped walking to the truck and turned with suspicious and stern eyes. 'Joey?'

'I'm pregnant,' she whispered.

'What. The. Hell?' Bessie turned away for a moment, 'this better be some god damned stupid joke?' her voice was cold.

'It was an accident. We were careful except for just once,' Joey tried unsuccessfully to swallow her tears.

'And you didn't know it only takes once?' Bessie yelled. 'You're meant to be the smart one. You're the one who was supposed to know better. How could you let this happen?'

'I didn't let it happen on purpose!' Joey defended, 'it was an accident. Literally an accident. Alex was an accident!'

'I wasn't in my first year at Worthington on a scholarship. I didn't spend all my teen years talking about escaping Capeside.'

'I'm sorry,' Joey looked down.

'Sorry?' Bessie screeched, 'sorry? After everything you put me through to get to Worthington...'

'Woah, what's up?' Pacey had jogged up, he and Bodie having been some ways behind with Alex.

'You,' Bessie thumped his chest, 'got my sister pregnant!' she whacked him again. 'How could you?' she hit him again. 'She was going to be something!' Bessie covered her eyes with her hands.

'She still is,' Pacey half yelled as Bodie grabbed Bessie.

'Don't stop me hitting him, he knocked her up!' Bessie yelled furiously.

'You're right,' Joey snarked crossing her arms, 'I lay there passively as he impregnated me. It was all him. I had nothing to do with it. Girls have no role in birth control. It is indeed _all_ his fault,' she stepped in front of Pacey.

'So you're just going to throw your life away then? Fall in love and forget all your dreams,' Bessie yelled.

'I'm not forgetting anything. I'm not stupid.'

' _Really_?' her sister was all sarcasm. 'Because you think you two can just have a baby? Raise a baby? And that you can do all that and study? What about your scholarship?'

'Let her talk Bes. You know we're sorting everything out,' Pacey attempted.

'Oh are you?' Bessie fought against Bodie, 'you think you know how it will be? You think you have the first clue because you were there when Alex was born? You think you knew how bad it really was? You are going to crumble when it's you getting up for nighttime feeds. And you're going to be reading Chaucer when the kids is crying for attention and you're so tired you're eating tea bags?'

'I think I don't have a clue. I don't think either of us do,' Joey was crying fully now. 'But what are we supposed to do? Pretend it isn't happening or at least try and manage? We're going to do our best you know.'

'Your best?' Bessie scorned, 'your best? And what the hell do you know about it?'

'Everything I learnt from you,' Joey shot back.

'Except, apparently, to put a fucking condom on.'

'So we screwed up. We forgot the condom and I'm pregnant. I'm gonna be nineteen and I'm going to be a mom. Our life is over. Is that what you're saying? That I might as well pack in Worthington and move home?'

'There is no _way_ you're moving back home,' Bessie yelled.

'Well that's ok because I don't want to. Pacey and I have moved into an apartment. It's small but we can afford it. The baby will have its own room. Worthington will honour my scholarship if I only take a semester off and Grams has agreed to babysit provided we have back up. And I guess it's just as well we don't need you!' Joey turned and somehow her hand was in Pacey's. 'Let's go tell your family and then we can head back home,' she muttered.

'Fine,' Bessie screamed, 'run away.'

'Will do,' Joey yelled back walking away from the truck and toward town and Pacey's house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey,**

 **Thanks for feedback! If you read ch 2 when fanfiction was mostly down I'd love to know what you thought - I really liked that chapter but it is always nice to know if people reading it feel the same! Please review this one too. Rather predictably this is going to be more like 4 or 5 chapters long:-)**

 **FYI - scenes where they're close - they don't describe it to Dawson obviously...like in How I met your mother when they were smoking weed and he says to the kids they were eating sandwiches...bit like that. They probably just hmm a bit, smile and say they were "close."**

 **Please review guys! Thanks, Tab xx**

 _S_ _eventeen years and four months earlier - Capeside - On the way to the Witter House_

'Are you ok?' Pacey asked and she shot him a look through narrowed, teary eyes. 'Sorry, stupid question.'

'Oh god it's not,' she squeezed his hand. 'You're only asking cos I'm obviously not ok. I knew she'd be disappointed and mad, but I didn't expect her to be quite so livid, so unforgiving.'

'I did,' Pacey admitted.

'You did?'

'Yeah. She loves you and she wants the absolute best for you...'

'But I'm human and life doesn't just do what we want it to and...'

'She knows all that. I mean deep down.'

'Deep, deep, deep down,' Joey leant her head on his shoulder.

'She's scared for you. Scared because she knows it's gonna be hard. Not just the kid bit, but the relationship bit, the career bit. All of it.'

'And it's all instantly so much easier if you're thirty?'

'Well no I guess not though we wouldn't be stressing about money, well I hope. I hated that buying train tickets was such a big deal.'

'I don't care if I'm with you,' she admitted. 'Maybe I'm hormonal because I know better than anyone that money matters but Pace I'd rather have you than be rich. I don't mean I don't think you could be rich by that either. I mean I'd rather you were home on weekends, that you had a job that meant we could spend time together than be rich.'

'But you want Paris. And I want to give you Paris.'

'One day,' she reassured him. 'I still want all that. I still want Worthington and Paris and a great job. I just want you and our baby more.'

'Wow, you must be really hormonal,' he teased and was rewarded with a smile.

'I really must,' she admitted.

'So you wanna see just how much Bessie cares?' he asked as they walked up the front steps of his house.

'If they're mean to you I'll kill them, I swear,' she glowered.

'Then prepare for battle,' he nudged open the door, 'mom? Pop?' he called.

'Hey doofus,' Doug appeared jogging down the stairs and grabbed Pacey around the neck and rubbed his head with his knuckles. 'You still with this loser?' he gave Joey a smirk as if he were the funniest man alive.

'Yes,' Joey glared.

'Wow, down girl,' Doug laughed at himself as he released Pacey and headed through to the living room.

'You're an ass,' Joey told his retreating back.

'Shall we?' Pacey dropped the holdall and his back pack and hers by the stairs and took her hand.

'I think I'm almost looking forward to this,' she kissed his cheek.

'Please promise me that our family will be nothing like this.'

'I promise, I promise, I promise.'

'You're the best,' he whispered as they entered the living room. No one looked up. Joey surveyed the scene. Pacey's dad was staring steadfastly at the television, a beer in hand and several empties by his chair which Kerry's kids were trying to drink the dregs of. Doug was on the couch with Anna, chatting about something or other that they apparently found extremely funny. Kerry was sat in a chair, ignoring the kids, and ignoring the room and instead reading Twighlight. Gretchen was sat at the breakfast bar with a magazine as Pacey's mom chattered on to her about cakes if Joey's ears didn't deceive her. After several moments they caught Gretchen's eye,

'Pacey,' she half squealed and jumped off the stool, making her way across the busy room to hug him. 'Man it is good to see you. And your girlfriend,' she grinned widely. Having lived with Pacey senior year she knew exactly how Pacey had felt about Joey and exactly how much it meant to her brother that she loved him back.

'Thanks Gretch. Nice that someone's pleased to see me,' Pacey muttered looking dejected.

'Pace, I'm getting mad,' Joey hissed.

'Well say what you want. I don't care,' he turned to her and she hated how they made him feel. At Christmas, before she knew about the baby, she'd been polite and sweet. She'd pretended she didn't mind when Mrs. Witter kept calling her Josie. She'd ignored Doug's constant belittling, Kerry's indifference, his dad's drunkenness, the fact that Anna didn't say a word to either of them over the whole holiday. At Christmas she'd laid the table, bitten her tongue when they told their horrible stories and simply born it with him. She wanted to blame it on hormones but it wasn't just that. She felt a protectiveness towards Pacey rear up inside of her. He was a good person. He was a great person and he was her family - her partner and her baby's father and they just sucked.

'What is wrong with you all?' she asked darkly and rather typically no one heard and so she dropped Pacey's hand and stormed across the room to the television which she switched off and then, amid John Witter's bellowing, she grabbed the beer bottles from Kerry's kids and shoved them into the kitchen bin. Then marching up to Anna she waved a hand in front of her and Doug. 'So you can see me? Hi,' she snarked as they looked up in shock.

'Wow,' Anna shook her head as if Joey were crazy.

'Shake away. Maybe I am crazy but really, that's how you choose to treat your brother? Your son? He's not been home in four months so you either ignore him or call him a loser? What is _wrong_ with you all?'

'Now wait a damn minute young lady,' John yelled, 'you just don't go marching into someone's home and...'

'I'm afraid I do,' Joey glared. 'Pace and I have something to say and then we'll go. We wouldn't want to impose on people who don't even acknowledge we're here but you're his family. Thankfully not for much longer.'

'And what exactly is that supposed to mean?' Doug asked as John took a nonchalant swig of beer and Mary, his mother, turned back to the stove.

'Pacey and I are having a baby,' she stated after a quick glance at Pacey who nodded his assent for her to tell. 'And I'll tell you what - our baby won't be coming over here to be ignored and to slurp up grandpa's beer remnants. My baby won't be coming here at all if you can't look at it's father and treat him as a human being.'

'You're pregnant?' John gestured at her slightly rounded belly with his beer bottle.

'That's what I said,' she murmured defensively.

'Oh my god, Pacey,' Gretchen hissed, the rest of the room stunned to silence, waiting it seemed for their father's reaction.

'Well of all the dumbass things to do,' John looked at Pacey.

'It takes two to tango Mr. Witter,' Joey pointed out tightly.

'Well say goodbye to the rest of your lives...'

'Well say goodbye to your son,' Joey mimicked, and tugged Pacey to the door.

'Well that went better than I expected,' he murmured in her ear and her head snapped to his, where he was biting back a smile. One look at his face and she found a spontaneous smile of her own fighting her anger for dominance, until he laughed and then she did.

'Did you mean what you said?' he asked.

'About what? Us being a family?'

'Yeah,' he spoke in a warm, soft voice.

'Yes, absolutely.'

'And it doesn't bother you, you know being tired to me forever?' a touch of insecurity, vicious and clawing poked through his smile.

'No. There isn't anyone in the world I'd rather be tied to.'

'Not even Dawson?' he helped her on with her backpack and winced at her scowl. 'Jo he was a huge part of growing up for you. A huge part of what you wanted not all that long ago.'

'Why ask now?'

'I figure let's get all the tough stuff done in one day...'

'Excuse me, Pace?' Gretchen coughed aware she was interrupting.

'Gretch,' he turned so they could both look at his sister.

'Are you guys ok?'

'Not really,' Pacey admitted. 'Joey's sister had a fairly predictable response as well.'

'I'm sorry they're so awful. Well done on calling them on it,' Gretchen gave Joey a smile. 'How you feeling?'

'Big,' Joey admitted, 'well bigger than I was. Sick and dispirited. We knew this part would be hard.'

'Not as hard as the next bit...' Gretchen offered and Joey's eyes grew steely.

'Well as tough as the next bit is, at least Pacey and i are doing it together and we actually love and support each other.'

'How long have you been together?'

'We first kissed or whatever about ten months ago. Graduation,' Pacey filled in.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'You'd gone already. No one else was very interested. Dawson flipped and then I went sailing.'

'You finally get the girl of your dreams and you go off sailing?'

'It was a job and I'd agreed to it,' he shrugged. 'I mean I wrote her.'

'Every couple of days,' Joey shrugged with a smile and stepped closer to Pacey.

'When I got back, we got together properly, though it wasn't like I wasn't committed while I was away.'

'I can't believe I never asked about that,' Joey bit her lip.

'I think you knew,' he kissed her forehead.

'And what about college?' Gretchen asked. 'And work Pace?'

'Joey's got a semester off and Grams, Jen's grandmother, she's agreed to do some sitting so Joey can go back. She's not wanting payment, but we'll pay her back some how. But it won't be so much.'

'I'll be in Boston in September. I have a job at the Globe.'

'Really? That's great,' Pacey smiled genuinely.

'I'll help. You know give you guys the occasional night out with friends. And if I can help when you need it for studying I will.'

'Thank you,' Joey smiled shyly.

'Doug's thinking of moving too,' Gretchen began.

'Oh great, so I can be belittled in Boston as well as Capeside. Some help.'

'He is family and he does love you.'

'Then he has a funny way of showing it.'

'Are you staying at your sisters?' Gretchen turned to Joey.

'We're not very welcome anywhere today,' Joey admitted. 'We're going to deal with Dawson and then head back to Boston.'

'Deal with Dawson?' Gretchen frowned.

'We figure we better tell him on the off chance he one day forgives us for liking each other in the first place.'

'Ok,' Gretchen nodded and then grabbed her bag and rummaged through it for a small address book. 'Here Pace, put all your contact info and stuff in here.'

'Sure,' he nodded and as he wrote Joey and Gretchen stared at each other.

'I'm sorry it wasn't easier,' Gretchen said at length and then her lips twitched, 'though you turning off the tv on dad was pure gold.'

'I should have taken his beer bottle too.'

'Ha, yeah, you should have done,' Gretchen snickered.

'Ready to go?' Pacey asked.

'Yeah. Maybe we can go to the market and get something to eat?'

'Sure,' Pacey nodded and they exchanged a look. Money was tight as they saved for all the things they needed for the baby. 'I'm sorry...I expected...I don't know.'

'It's ok. I'm just a little light headed.'

'When did you last eat?' Gretchen frowned.

'This morning before we left.'

'It's two in the afternoon,' Gretchen blocked their way.

'We've been busy,' Joey defended.

'How tight is money?' Gretchen pushed still standing in their way.

'Look we have money,' Pacey defended.

'Then why has your pregnant girlfriend not eaten in seven hours?'

'It's been one of those days. We were meant to be at the B&B but after Bessie flipped we decided to come here. You saw how that went.'

'I can help you know.'

'We have money,' Joey spoke up. 'We just want to save more. We want to be able to buy the things we need not spend frivolously. We want to have back up for if things don't go as we expect. This trip has been expensive enough.'

'Here,' Gretchen dug in her pocket and pulled out twenty bucks. 'Let me buy you something to eat.'

'We don't need it,' Joey shook her head.

'I get that, but that little thing in there is my niece or nephew and you guys need to remember to keep it fed. To keep yourselves fed.'

'Ok, whatever. Thanks,' Joey took the twenty and then took Pacey's hand, 'let's go.'

'I'll call you,' Gretchen said and Pacey turned.

'Thanks.'

'Come,' Joey dragged him and once outside, dragged him to the side of the house where she turned, pushed her hands inside his jacket, before moving her hands up to his collar which she grabbed pulling him roughly to her, kissing him hard and heatedly on the mouth.

'Wha...' he half asked but her hands snaked into his hair and then her arms locked around his neck and she deepened the kiss, until he was grabbing onto her and her back was hitting the side of his family house. 'Jo,' he groaned her name but she kissed him relentlessly, until neither seemed to remember where they were or what was happening. Somehow they just they were half naked in the damp fauna beside the house he grew up in and his body driving into hers, needing closeness, needing the completeness of being together, of feeling connected and close and utterly blissed out as they came together.

'We've never done that before,' she sighed, wiping his damp hair from his face, surprised to note it was raining.

'Huh?' he gazed down at her looking bedazzled.

'Come together,' she sighed, 'it felt really, really nice.'

'Hmmm,' he agreed, rubbing the tip of his nose along her cheek. 'Where did that come from?' he asked in a low intimate voice, despite the dampness all around them.

'You asked about Dawson, and the truth is I don't want to talk about Dawson. I don't want to go see Dawson. I don't want to hear another person criticize this or you. I love you. I don't love him. I want you, not him. I am so glad that this is your baby because it means you're stuck with me. Forever.'

'That a promise?'

'It's a threat,' she teased. 'I want this,' she gestured between them. 'I want you. I don't regret in anyway that it's you. In fact I'm glad.'

 _Present Day - Boston - Joey and Pacey's house_

'Wow,' Dawson stated with wide eyes.

'We had such a wonderful, supportive start to our life together,' Joey smiled.

'Hey!' Jen protested.

'Well from you guys we did. You guys were great. Family weren't.'

'But Bessie came round right? And obviously something changed with Doug?'

'No one spoke to us for the rest of my pregnancy,' Joey shrugged making it apparent that she still held the tiniest of grudges.

'And so you didn't go to tell me?'

'Actually we did. We decided we'd do it and try and mend our friendship. We missed you. But it wasn't to be. Your house was all shut up,' Joey shrugged. 'The thing is Dawson everything changed when you cut off contact.'

'I didn't mean it to go on so long. I just...I figured I'd get in touch next week the whole time and somehow I never did. I wrote emails but they sat in my outbox unsent. Why didn't you tell me when you guys wrote?'

'I didn't feel like sharing my life with you,' Joey admitted. 'Like I said everything changed. You left me, and I mean as a friend, but like everyone in my life you sent me a message that I wasn't worth it...'

'Joey I'm so sorry. That wasn't my intention - I was hurt and sad and...'

'Dawson, I am over it you know,' she gave him a kind smile. 'Eighteen year old, hormonal me found it tough but it changed how I viewed you and your role in my life. For a lot of junior and senior year Pacey had in fact had a bigger role as my friend than you and I thought I'd probably put more credence into you as a friend and a person in my life than I should have. I needed Pacey. I wanted him and I had him. I had good friends. Jen and Jack were amazing, as were Audrey and Charlie their new roommates. We had a blast all through our twenties and still do. I missed you but I let you go...'

'Still to think that I may have been an issue between the two of you...'

'You weren't,' Joey smiled kindly, 'Pace could tell I let you go. He read the emails I sent, just like I read his. He is my best friend which meant I could miss you without him freaking out that I missed you in a way I just didn't.'

'I feel really, really embarrassed,' Dawson stated.

'Why?' Pacey asked.

'Because I didn't let you go,' he admitted.

'But you did,' Joey rolled her eyes. 'You really did. You didn't email and you didn't call. I was once your friend and I was a useful place to pile up fantasy and make believe because who doesn't like imagining what if scenarios?'

'But my film...'

'Is a wonderful interpretation of how it was and how it might have been. Or imagining how it could have been that. There's nothing wrong with the film because it is merely a musing on what might have been...'

'Bet definitely won't be,' Pacey stated firmly and Jen laughed,

'Oh I think you can rest assured that you got the girl,' she teased and Pacey kicked her playfully under the table.

'So you never thought about sharing this all in an email?' Dawson asked, 'because I could have ended the movie the right way if I'd known...'

'To be honest no,' Joey shook her head. 'I love my life and I didn't want the judgment from people I didn't feel would think on it favourably. You never replied to anything and Pacey and I decided we'd share if you responded. You dropped us Dawson. I understand why, and I know life takes off, but we had enough on our plate.'

'Do you mind continuing the story?' Dawson asked.

'Not at all...'

'So tell me about living together. You moved in to the one bedroom place in the same building as Jen and Jack?'

'Yeah and it was...interesting...'

 _Seventeen years and three months earlier - Boston - Joey and Pacey's new apartment_

'Are you being serious?' Joey was staring at Pacey as though he were insane. She honestly thought he was.

'I'm telling you I don't trust the guy.'

'I'm baby sitting his daughter for money, for us. He's my professor! What are you imagining in that crazy head of yours?'

'I don't know!' he threw up his hands in exasperation, 'but I'm telling you that guy doesn't look at you like a professor should. He thinks you're hot.'

'And?'

'And I think you're crazy to babysit his kid if the guys got the hots for you.'

'Why?' she frowned. 'I mean what does it matter? I've not got the hots for him.'

'Haven't you?' he asked darkly and she honestly felt like shaking him.

'Are you serious?'

'Well you've always gone for the college guys Jo and this is like a regular college guy on speed. I mean he's smart, about things I'm really not smart about and he's read books I haven't. He's got the big house and...'

'And he's boring. And much older than me. And he's not all that attractive. He has a kid who'd closer in age to me than he is. Oh and I love you. And I happen to think you're incredibly smart about things I know nothing about. And I'm having your baby. In not very long...'

'I just...'

'Just what? Wanted a fight? Well congratulations - you got one.'

'I just worry...' he admitted and he looked so sad that she softened immediately.

'About what?' she took his hand and pulled him onto the couch beside her.

'That you're gonna think you missed out. That I've taken away the chance to explore life from you. That you're going to resent me.'

'Do you resent me?'

'No, I could never...'

'Then why would I resent you?' she couldn't understand what he was trying to get at.

'I've slept with other women. I went sailing...'

'You want me to sleep with another man?' she frowned, confused.

'No. God no, please never,' he clutched her tighter, 'and that's it I guess. I want you forever Jo. Like I really do. I want to be eighty five and married to you. I don't want anyone else ever. But you...you've only had me...'

'Ok you can stop right there,' she shook her head and her lips narrowed into a thin line.

'I'm sorry...'

'I said stop,' she stood up and paced around the small apartment before stopping and looking at him. 'You are messy. I'm sorry but you are. There are clothes everywhere, all the time. I find socks in the hallway, boxers on the couch, tshirts just everywhere including on the hooks for our coats. It drives me crazy. You're also anal about the kitchen. Like extremely anal. In fact you take it to Doug levels so that it's now at the point where I hate making myself something to eat. I know you don't yell but you silently rearrange and redo anything I might have done. You never open your mail. Drives me mad. How can you not want to know what the letter inside says? You cut your toenails in bed which is just yuck and you're always humming or singing or whatever. It drives me nuts.'

'I...'

'Shhh,' she glared at him and he sunk back into the couch.

'You're not perfect Pace and neither am I. I know I'm irritable in the morning, but you know what - you never are. I don't get how you're so unphased by me when I'm super bitchy about stupid little things. I'm quick to complain about your mess and you clean it up. You may be anal about the kitchen but that's because you use it most of the time because I suck at cooking and so I nearly never do. You're even patient enough to give me lessons. I'm fidgety and sarcastic and despite your toenail clippings occasionally working their way to my side of the bed, bed is my favourite time of day because I get to be with you - uninterrupted. I'm glad you drive me crazy Pace because you drive me crazy in every single way. I'm not worried that I've only slept with you because you're amazing...'

'Amazing?' he asked softly.

'Amazing. You've turned me from some shy girl who'd never ask for what she wanted...you know sex wise, into a demanding hussy.'

'Well...'

'You have. You know I'm not finding it easy being pregnant, especially not seven months pregnant...'

'You aren't?' he looked crestfallen and so she sat in front of him on the coffee table.

'God no. I have back ache. I'm eighteen and I have back ache and just everything about me is getting bigger and...'

'God Jo, you're sexy. Sexy as hell. Always.'

'Don't you see Pace,' she whispered climbing onto the couch so she was straddling his lap, the bump of the baby now resting against his stomach.

'See what?'

'You make me feel like that. That's what I'm saying. You make me feel sexy. You make me feel that the changes happening to me are amazing and awesome and attractive. You make me feel loved and adored and confident even though it's not easy being pregnant. I'm not interested in college professors, or college guys or anyone but you.'

'But...'

'Look, stop worrying about things that don't need worrying about. Do I love college? Yeah I do. I love you more.'

'You do?' he gave a cautious smile and so she kissed him.

'A lot more. And look, here...let's read...' she looked to the coffee table and grabbed Moby Dick that happened to be lying there. 'Moby Dick.'

'Together?' he frowned and she laughed,

'Yes together,' and still nestled on his lap she opened the book and began to read.

 _Seventeen years and one month earlier - Boston - Joey and Pacey's apartment_

'You can stop reading,' Joey smiled at Pacey who was clearly trying to keep his eyes open as he read The Alchemist to her.

'Nah, nah, I'm good,' he yawned.

'You're exhausted.'

'Not as tired as you. Though you're not asleep,' he frowned.

'Can't sleep at the moment. My dreams are crazy and I can't get comfortable.'

'I could help relax you ya know?' he waggled his brows.

'Sure you wouldn't fall asleep?' she teased.

'Nah, never when I'm doing _that_ with _you,'_ he ran a hand through her hair.

'Are you ok?'

'I'm working my ass off at work but I don't know...the business isn't doing so well. I just have a bad feeling.'

'I'm sorry I had to quit Hells Kitchen. I never wanted finances to be all on you...'

'Jo you're eight months pregnant. I'm not surprised.'

'But it doesn't change the fact that we're just scraping by,' she acknowledged.

'We knew it would be tough. I hate that we can't ever get a take out or go out without worrying about the money we're spending...'

'You know I don't care so much about that - you're pretty creative,' she shrugged and gave him a small smile.

'I like surprising you,' he told her simply, 'it makes me happy.'

'Makes me happy too.'

'I suppose we have to just remember that money doesn't make it fun.'

'Exactly. I mean we got all our baby stuff at a good price,' she reminded him, 'that kept our buffer money safe. We don't need to do more than scrape by...'

'I'm just worried that the economic climate is going to mean jobs are lost. I'm young and new - I'm gonna be cut if they're cutting.'

'You really think you might lose your job?' she paled and so he took her hand.

'I'm trying to be upfront about it.'

'Good, because it's _our_ problem, not _yours_ ,' she reminded.

'Thanks for being so great,' he kissed her softly and she found herself leaning into his touch. Pacey kissed her more earnestly, his hands creeping to the hem of her top.

'No,' she shook her head even as they kissed and he moved his hands away.

'No?' he asked looking slightly bewildered. It was the first time she'd ever spurned his advances.

'I'm too big and I feel gross and just no,' she stated and then turned to him apprehensive, 'I mean that's ok right? You're not gonna be sleeping with someone else if we don't have sex right?'

'God no, never,' he shook his head. 'A hand was good enough for me for a long time, a hand can be ok again. Not as great as you, but you know.'

'I know,' she rolled her eyes. 'I'm sorry. I've felt fantastic about my body but this morning I looked in a mirror and ugh...just no...'

'Jo, you know I still find you insanely attractive right?'

'With swollen ankles, a belly the size of a basketball and incredibly hairy bits, oh I'm a dream come true,' she said drolly and he laughed,

'Yeah, but your boobs are huge!'

'Typical,' she crossed her arms and then becoming aware that her assets were thus enhanced, uncrossed them again,

'I'm being silly Jo. If you don't want to have sex I am one hundred percent supportive. I know you're tired, you don't feel so good and can't get comfortable. However, if you want to but think I don't because I don't find you attractive, or whatever then you're wrong. I love your belly. Swollen ankles my ass and you know...I don't mind you hairy...it's a bit of a turn on.'

' _Really_?' she scoffed in disbelief.

'God yeah. In fact if you feel like _it_ , but don't have the energy for _it_ , let me do _it_ with my mouth...'

'There were far too many "its" in that sentence.'

'You know what I'm talking about Jo,' he slid a hand up her leg, sliding it all the way up under her skirt until his fingers brushed over her panties.

'You're crazy,' she sighed and slumped into the cushions a little as his fingers danced a slow dance, setting her heart racing.

'I'm not,' he pushed her skirt up her legs and kissed his way along her thigh.

'I can't even see what I look like there,' she mumbled as his fingers tugged at her underwear.

'I can. You look wonderful. You smell wonderful,' he pressed a kiss right there and she gasped.

'Please, please. I do want it,' she pushed her hands roughly through his hair. 'But God Pace, this is selfish...I...'

'Selfish?' he smirked at her from between her legs, 'because you're pregnant and tired and don't have the energy to make me come?' he asked in a teasing, low voice.

'Yeah,' she nodded slightly before her head fell back,

'You're funny,' he told her, 'this is one of my favourite things to do,' he dropped back between her legs, his breath warm on her skin. 'I love this.'

'Lucky me,' she moaned.

 _Seventeen years and two weeks earlier - Boston - Joey and Pacey's apartment_

'You look like you're smuggling a basketball,' Jack snickered as he stuffed chips into his mouth.

'Ugh, the thought of food makes me want to hurl,' Joey stared at him as he ate.

'Everything 'cept Pacey makes you wanna hurl,' Jack shrugged easily.

'The last two days even he's driving me crazy - even he makes me wanna hurl...you know, things in his direction.'

'He always drives you crazy,' Jack ruffled her hair.

'Yeah but the last two days it hasn't been in a good way...'

'This isn't serious right?' Jack stopped stuffing and frowned, 'I mean you still love him, right?'

'Of course I do,' she rolled her eyes, 'I'm just tired and huge and irritable and I don't want to cook, I don't want to eat, I don't want to go anywhere but I don't want to be at home, I'm hot and then cold, I'm just so sick and tired of being pregnant and yet I'm not ready for a baby. And my back is just killing me today. Has been all morning.'

'You are ready,' Jack said softly. 'And I know why he's driving you crazy.'

'Why?' she pouted as she shifted on the couch, adding another pillow.

'Because he's crazy about you, and he can't stop fussing, or worrying.'

'I don't need a babysitter,' she said pointedly and Jack chuckled,

'I knew that but it's Pace and I didn't want him to stress. He said he has a feeling about today.'

'He said that yesterday,' Joey dead panned, but her words were undermined by the sudden searing pain all across her stomach. 'Ohhh,' she cried out, taken by surprise as she was.

'Joey?' Jack stared at her uncertainly, and even though he knew she wasn't ok he asked, 'are you ok?' Joey didn't answer, just clutched at her stomach, her face pale as she clutched onto her stomach, her hands spread wide to cover as much of the baby as she could. 'Joey...hey,' he put a hand on her back but all at once she wretched vomiting on the floor beside the couch. 'I'm calling for an ambulance,' Jack jumped up, tipping out his chips onto the floor and handing her the bowl as she wretched and then vomited again. 'Should I call an ambulance?' Jack stared uncertainly at his deathly pale friend,

'It's coming...I can feel it coming...' she hissed, vomiting again.

'What do you mean?' Jack's voice grew high pitched. 'Are you having contractions?'

'No,' she shook her head, 'this is it, it's coming. I need my underwear off, the baby is coming...' her voice was panicked, strangled in vines of fear.

'But it can't be,' Jack shook his head, 'I may not have read all the books like Pace, but what about contractions...I mean it takes hours and...'

'Jack, take off my underwear,' she growled, grimacing in pain.

'Let me call an ambulance, Jo...just let me call...'

'Now Jack,' she screamed as more pain ripped through her body.

'Fuck, Pacey's gonna kill me,' he muttered as he put his hands up her skirt and found the waistband of her underwear pulling it down her legs.

'It's coming now Jack,' she said before crying out, her hands clenching beside her.

'But it's too quick,' Jack shook his head, standing and then looked around for a stupidly long time for the phone as Joey moaned and begged him to help her. At last he spotted it on the floor by the couch and dived for it.

'Jack,' she screamed then, a long, pained sound and his fingers fumbled over the numbers.

'Fuck,' he swore, hanging up and then attempting to dial again.

'Put down the phone,' he hissed darkly, her eyes practically black, 'get the baby,' she rolled over and off the couch, before settling on her knees, her arms and upper body resting on the seat. 'I can feel it coming out,' she moaned, whimpering slightly.

'Joey,' Jack pressed the phone to his ear with his shoulder and shoved the coffee table out the way, and threw a blanket onto the mess of chips and sick on the floor. 'My friends having a baby,' he spoke rapidly into the phone, 'it's not normal. There's blood and she was sick and...like fifteen minutes ago, maybe less, I don't know, but she can feel the baby...'

'Jack,' Joey screamed again, 'put down the fucking phone - I can feel the head between my legs. Put the phone down and catch the baby...the heads out and the body is about to be...'

'The heads out...ok...' Jack out the phone aside and crouched down behind her. 'I'm sorry I have to look,' he said.

'Just catch the ba...ahhhhhh,' she screamed and felt the baby leave her, felt the sudden absence and despite knowing the placenta would be coming she turned, sitting down on the floor abruptly, heedless to the blood and general mess, her back to the couch and stared at Jack who was holding a small, bloody baby that was still attached to her by its cord, the phone still clamped between his shoulder and ear. He stared at the baby too and the phone clattered to the floor, the voice at the other end shouting tinnily into the room.

'It's a baby,' he was openly crying, brushing the blood from the baby's face. Joey held open her arms and he pressed the baby into them, bending to retrieve the phone.

'Oh my god...' she stared down at the baby feeling it all fade away. She didn't really notice Jack talking on the phone and taking the clip off her packet of pasta and boiling it and scissors in water. She didn't hear Pacey come in or the garbled conversation he must have had with Jack, as he crouched in front of her, his hand on her shoulder, her hair, his voice an echo as she stared at the baby.

'Joey...Jo...' Pacey's panicked voice finally got her attention and she looked up at him from the floor where she was cradling their son. 'Sweetheart! God...Jo,' he sat beside her, his arm snaking around her, his left hand coming up to inspect the infant sleeping against her naked chest. 'Are you ok?'

'I don't know...' her eyes fluttered, 'I'm tired and I think I'm bleeding a lot. I don't even know if the placenta is fully out...I just...look at him.'

'Him?'

'Yeah,' she smiled, or thought she did. 'He's so beautiful.'

'Jack said it was really sudden...like five minutes...'

'Hmm I did need the babysitter...and your intuition is good...' she smiled, a smile which faltered, 'I don't feel good.'

'The paramedics are on their way...they should be here any minute...' He smoothed her hair from her sweaty face.

'And you're here?' she frowned.

'Jack called Civilization and I ran here. I've never run so fast...'

'Joey, we need to cut the baby's cord,' Jack said and looked to Pacey. 'They're still ten minutes out. They said to clip it here,' Jack gestured. 'Do you want to?'

'Your hands are clean...' Pacey looked to Jack who put the clip on the baby's cord.

'Here,' he went to hand Pacey the scissors but his friend was crying and shook his head, so Jack snipped as directed and then stared at the mess. 'There's too much blood.'

'Huh?' Pacey looked up from his son.

'To me it looks like there's too much blood,' he picked up the phone and spoke to the operator. 'Ok...ok...'

'What? What?' Pacey stared at his friend, and then back to Joey. 'Jo? Joey...' he shook her gently but she didn't respond.

'Take the baby, Pace,' Jack insisted, and grabbed a pillow, laying Joey out on the floor as Pacey took the baby, revealing just how much blood she'd lost.

'Joey...Jo...' Pacey knew he wasn't being rational as he touched her leg to rouse her, as he stared at her pale, still face, and all the blood.

'She's gonna be ok,' Jack said in the silence that followed, as he put a pillow under her head and tugged her skirt down enough to cover her.

'She has to be,' Pacey said and then couldn't speak further, could only stare at Joey's chest as it rose and fell and feel the comforting feeling of the small warm body in his arms.

 _Present Day - Boston - Joey and Pacey's House_

'It was dramatic,' Jack said and Pacey gave him a look,

'Understatement of the century. You saved her.'

'I didn't...'

'You did,' Pacey insisted.

'Put it this way, Pace never called me on taking down his lady's underwear nor looking,' Jack shrugged.

'So what happened? I mean you were ok obviously but...'

'Oh I'd passed out. I lost a lot of blood. I had this super fast birth... It's called a precipitate labour. I'd had back ache and that was probably a warning but how would I know. Then I had this pain, it was pretty much one long contraction and then Josh was there. I needed a transfusion, some stitches and a night in hospital. I was fine, but it was scary.'

'You saved them both,' Pacey said to Jack again.

'It _was_ scary,' Jack admitted and he shared a look with Joey. 'Especially when Joey passed out and all Pacey and I could do was try and hold it together as we waited for the ambulance.'

'I didn't exactly hold it together,' Pacey admitted, shifting closer to his wife. 'I'd never been so scared in my life.'

'Until Alice was born,' Joey said threading her fingers through his.

'Until Alice and a whole new world of fear,' Pacey agreed.

'What happened with Alice?' Dawson asked. 'Or maybe just carry on with the story?'

'Up to you man?' Pacey shrugged. 'I'm going to put on more coffee.'

'It's like you read my mind,' Jen stated as her phone buzzed, 'Charlie is here,' she scooped Amy up from where she was playing, 'you gonna go with daddy?'

'No mama,' Amy began to cry and cling to her mom.

'Why is it always the same lately? When I want her she wants Charlie and when Charlie is having her she wants me!'

'Oh I have lived that battle,' Joey sighed with a smile. 'It makes you feel so wonderful when they cling to you like you're the centre of their universe, until of course you need them to go and then it's a pain. The minute you want it though, they switch to dad mode. Tell her you want her, that daddy can't have her,' Joey smirked.

'Ok Amy, I want you, daddy can't have you.'

'Want daddy,' Amy struggled in Jen's arms.

'On my god,' Jen mouthed at Joey, 'seriously, what would I do without you guys?'

'Figure it out like we did,' Joey laughed.

'But it's so much easier to have you tell me,' Jen snickered. 'Ok Amy, please I want you...'

'No dada,' Amy began to drag Jen to the door.

'You ok Jo?' Jack asked as Jen and Amy disappeared. 'You're quiet.'

'Oh I'm good. I didn't sleep so well this week. Lots on my mind.'

'Nothing serious?'

'What's worrying you?' Pacey frowned as he put the filled up milk jug on the table as the coffee brewed.

'Oh I don't know. Edie and the mean girl, Josh and finals, Alice and a movie star. Only Jay is blissfully steady at the moment.'

'Jay is always steady,' Jack smiled kindly.

'They'll be ok,' Pacey reassured, 'you know that. We talked to Edie and she's good. Josh is revising and being sensible, making sure he has down time. He's got Ellie looking after him. And Alice...you're the one that reminded me we can trust her.'

'Pace...that's not why I can't sleep,' she admitted. 'We _need_ to talk.'

'Oh,' he looked momentarily lost, 'um...let's uh...go...go where?' he looked to her for help.

'Upstairs for ten minutes,' she filled in and he nodded,

'Yes, upstairs for ten minutes,' he smiled at her and frowned all at the same time but she took his hand.

'You can grab Dawson some pastries Jack. You know where they are. Pace made the chocolate croissants.'

'Awesome,' Jack did a fist pump but Dawson frowned at the two of them as they walked away, Pacey's arm around her and her body pressed close to his,

'I'm sorry Jo, you said you wanted to talk and then Dawson got here and I just...'

'It's ok,' she said but led him up the stairs in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi All,**

 **Thanks for the reviews and giving this story a chance. I think the next part is the last. I have the final scene in mind but need to write it all. School, work and college start next week so I'll do my best:-) Please review. I do so love a review. Apparently the pleasure part of our brains (well it's definitely a part of our brain) responds to likes on Facebook etc. I think it also responds to reviews:-$**

 **Thanks, Tab xx**

Chapter 4

 _'I'm sorry Jo, you said you wanted to talk and then Dawson got here and I just...'_

 _'It's ok,' she said but led him up the stairs in silence._

'I'm beginning to freak out here Jo,' Pacey stated. 'Is it me? Did I do something?'

'Why do you always think it's you? It's nearly never you. And I know how lucky I am to be able to say that.'

'Then what is it? You've not been yourself for a couple of weeks. Not since Dawson got in touch,' Pacey stared at her and the blood drained from his face. 'Is it Dawson? Oh my god it is, isn't it? Am I really the fool and..and...'

'Shut up Pace,' Joey rolled her eyes. 'Before you do make me cross...'

'It's just the timing and everything...stranger things have happened than old feelings stirring up at the reappearance of an old love and...'

'You mean stranger than unprotected sex resulting in a pregnancy?' she asked with a tilt of her head and her hands on her hips.

'Huh?' he frowned, 'what? Who's pregnant? Is Alice pregnant? Oh my god I'm going to kill that Greyson kid...'

'Little closer to home than that Pace,' her voice was heavy with innuendo and gravitas.

'Oh,' he stated and then his eyes widened, 'oh!'

'I'm sorry,' she said the words and then promptly burst into tears. 'It must have been that night...'

'There are a lot of nights...'

'Not so many that end in you going "oops."'

'Oh...' his face fell, 'that night.'

'Yeah, that night.'

'Are you sure?' he asked.

'I went to the doctor the morning Dawson called. I guess the timing does work for your whole ridiculous Dawson theory,' she wiped at her eyes and then was being pressed against his firm chest, his arms around her.

'So how many weeks are you?'

'Seven I guess, seven and three days.'

'So it's teeny, tiny?'

'Teeny, tiny,' she agreed, as he put a little space between the and gave her a warm smile,

'I love our family Jo. I love you. I'm so, so, so relieved that we have this life together. I can face the tough stuff because I have you. But your happiness matters. More than anything in the world. You know I will happily father as many babies as we have or..want to have. I love their soft noises and getting to know them. All of that. But I also know we have a family, the kids are older and things are different now. Do you know what you want?'

'Me?' she swiped at tears, 'I can't imagine not having this baby. I know our other children and not having this one...it's like I can't separate it from its brothers and sisters.'

'It's small, and really it isn't a being yet. If you thought that's what you wanted...'

'Is that what you want? Me to have an abortion?' she stared at him.

'Me?' Pacey pursed his lips and shook his head, 'no. I'm already imagining turning the little room at the front into a nursery. I've already started going through girls and boys names and have a top three of each...'

'I told you all of three minutes ago,' she stated and he laughed softly,

'Boy Owen, Adam or Jake if we wanna stick on the J theme. Girl, well it's gotta be a vowel, so Ella, Oren or Iona.'

'You're a strange man,' she whispered but then smiled. 'You really thought all that in the last few minutes?'

'Yep. We'd need to change the lighting in the small room, and maybe get a new carpet. If I reorganized the closet there'd be much better storage. The older kids could help. And if we got rid of the broken vacuum cleaner in the cupboard in the front hall then the stroller would fit there. I was thinking we'd paint the room white and maybe put some really bright curtains in there, or you know...classy but super bright.'

'Pace...slow down,' she sat on the bed and he sat beside her.

'I'm sorry. I know I'm doing that thing where I jump ahead way to quickly. I say all that but I do mean it when I say that we'll do whatever we need to do and we'll do it together. Do you want this baby?' he asked and they stared at each other for what felt like forever.

'We never considered getting rid of Josh, or Alice or any of the others,' Joey said her face serious. 'I don't really feel like that's a solution now either. I mean...it would make sense and you know I'm not against abortion...'

'You know I'm not either...'

'And it's a big responsibility to bring another life into an already crowded world. I figured if we ever had more children they'd be fostered or...'

'I know,' he nodded.

'And what if it's twins? They clearly are in our background and I'm older which increases the likelihood.'

'Come on. Twins twice? That's not gonna happen.'

'It's not?' she asked and he took her hand,

'They say that if you wanna be absolutely sure there won't be a bomb on your plane, take a bomb on your plane because statistically the chance of there being two bombs on a plane is so incredibly small...'

'Babies aren't bombs...' she said and he smiled knowingly, 'well ok...they explode from time to time...' she admitted and he laughed.

'So you want to keep the baby?' he clarified and she nodded. 'So I can be happy now?'

'Yes,' she nodded again and he smiled widely before squeezing her tightly against him and kissing her neck where his face was buried.

'I am happy.'

'Even if it sets back the "just you and me" time.'

'Meh, we've always managed to find just you and me time.'

'Obviously,' she rolled her eyes, 'probably why I'm always falling pregnant.'

'I think that instead of focussing on all the times I get you pregnant we should focus on all the times I haven't got you pregnant. I mean there must be thousands and thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of times when we've had sex and I haven't got you pregnant. Compared to the four times I have, I would say statistically I'm extremely good at not getting you pregnant,' he smiled and she felt her lips twitching.

'So really you're looking for congratulations on your ability to have sex with me and not impregnate me?' she asked, 'when I'm telling you I'm pregnant?'

'I said oops,' he defended and laughed as she threw herself at him, tickling his sides. 'Joey...jo...' He tried to escape her insistent hands, especially when she shoved them down the back of his pants. 'You wanna go there?' he asked and in an attempt at self defence tickled her sides.

'Pacey,' she half screeched, laughing. He had always been better at tickling her than the other way round, especially when he rolled onto his back trapping her hands down the back of his pants, 'please...uncle...' she gasped between laughing.

'I win,' he smiled and then they were kissing, Joey successfully tugging her hands free and pushing them into his hair. 'I love you,' he told her, rolling them over so his hand could play over her stomach.

'I'll have more stretch marks...' she pouted and he laughed,

'I can't even see them,' he rolled his eyes, 'I think you're perfect and I love everything that tells the story of you and I.'

'My stretch marks don't tell any story,' she muttered.

'They do,' he insisted, sliding down the bed and kissing her belly, trailing a finger along a silvery line on her flat stomach.

'Don't get me started on my belly button - it's such a mess.'

'I love it,' he pressed a warm kiss there.

'You have always been strangely obsessed with my body.'

'Nothing strange about loving how wonderful and insanely clever it is. I swear I should have been an obstetrician because I find it really, really awesome.'

'Just be a dad for the fifth time,' she muttered. 'And I still count the twins as getting me pregnant twice, so that is five times. Makes your statistics a little worse.'

'But that was one pregnancy!'

'Two separate sacs yada, yada. Two pregnancies!'

'Now you're being picky,' he muttered but was clearly in a wonderful mood as he pressed kisses along her stomach, and began to nose up her shirt.

'Don't start something,' she warned.

'But it would improve my rate of not getting you pregnant,' he teased breathing warm air against her boob through the material of her bra.

'I don't want sex with everyone down stairs waiting for us.'

'Not even really quick, passionate, I love you sex?' he drew her nipple into his mouth through the material and she moaned.

'No,' she insisted.

'I'll make it good,' he promised, 'it can be all about you.'

'All about me, huh?' she gave him a look.

'You always say it's best if we come together,' he nuzzled his face into her cleavage. 'Please Jo...'

'Quick and all about me,' she reminded him and he grinned, the smile that made her happy.

 _Present Day - Boston - Joey and Pacey's House_

'Do you think they're ok?' Dawson asked with a worried frown.

'Hmm yeah,' Jen nodded and smirked.

'What she means by that is if they argued, and that's an if, they usually...make up after..'

'Oh,' Dawson blushed, 'oh ok. What do you think was wrong?'

'With Joey it's always hard to say. She doesn't usually hold back if she's mad so she probably wasn't mad, maybe something happened...something to do with her next book or one of the kids. She doesn't do well sitting with a problem. Pacey's been insisting that something's up for the last couple of weeks or so,' Jack explained.

'You don't think I've caused a problem?' Dawson asked and even though he sounded worried there was a hint of something else just nudging at the edges of the question.

'No,' Jen laughed somewhat dismissively. 'I think the timing is coincidental,' she then bit her lip and Jack narrowed his eyes,

'You know!' he accused. 'You've been shifty whenever Pace brought it up and when Alice asked you if you thought her mom was ok and even when I said something.'

'So what if I do?' Jen defended. 'She's my best friend.'

'Well she's mine too,' Jack huffed.

'Well I'm a girl...'

'So it's something female,' Jack pounced faster than a spitting cobra, landing on the little gem of information with a gleeful smile.

'I didn't say...'

'Oh but you did,' he took a victorious slurp of coffee, and then bit into a chocolate croissant.

'No...'

'Period problems?' Jack asked and then leaned forward, 'boob enhancement? Boob reduction? Birth control...is she making Pace get a vasectomy? Or having that implant thing? Or a baby. Oh my god she's pregnant,' Jack slumped back in his chair the croissant falling to his plate and his coffee spilling as he abruptly dropped it into the table.

'No, I didn't say...' Jen hastened to dismiss the suggestion but Jack was shaking his head,

'You didn't have to, I'm an idiot. She's always the same when she finds out. Nauseous, off her food,' he gestured to Joey's half eaten toast, 'quiet, kinda sad but then always calm...and she wasn't drinking. She said she was driving, you know at the premiere but...'

'You mean Joey's pregn...' Dawson began.

'Jack shut up,' Jen was flushed and wide eyed,

'I'm so right, aren't I? Pace, he didn't even think it might be that...he kept focussing on the timing of it all and the kids and it is a kid just...one that isn't born yet...oh my god, that's amazing news!'

'Jack,' Jen kicked him and he winced and rubbed his leg.

'Jen,' he grumbled and looked at her face which was set angrily. 'Oh,' his eyes flicked between her and Dawson, 'God why do I always do this?' he muttered.

'Because you're as subtle as a brick wall,' Jen sighed heavily. 'Well god, we can't let them know we all know!' she threw up her hands.

'I can't lie. Maybe to Pace but Joey, she sees right through me,' Jack flustered picking his chocolate croissant remnants up off the floor.

'Yeah because you've kept all Joey's surprises for Pace so secret over the years...'

'In my defence I didn't tell him what was happening...'

'Just smiled like an idiot so he knew it was something...'

'This time I won't,' Jack defended as they heard Pacey and Joey heading back to the kitchen, Pacey catching Joey from behind in the doorway and whispering something into her ear which caused her to smile and kiss him before flushing as they returned to the table, whereupon Jack looked away, desperately trying to hide his smile.

'You're kidding me right?' Joey looked at Jen and shook her head with wide eyes.

'He guessed...'

'Guessed! How did he guess?' Joey shot a glance at Dawson and then back to Jen.

'I said you were my best friend and he said you were his too, and then I said I was a girl and...'

'And he guessed,' Joey stated. 'Ugh, so you all know and my kids don't?'

'Sort of,' Jack smiled.

'Awesome. You know I'm only seven weeks? I haven't had a scan and just about anything might be wrong...and I'm not telling my kids until I know nothing is so you have to learn to keep a secret. I mean I might lose this baby still...'

'I'm sorry Jo,' Jen winced.

'God, it is just you guys,' she relented, 'and I guess Pace probably knew before Jack...'

'Course I did,' Pacey wrapped his hand around hers, positioning his chair as close to hers as he possibly could, 'I did,' he said again his lips finding the warm skin of her neck.

'That,' Jen gestured to Pacey and Joey, 'is how we found out she was pregnant with Alice. Pacey apparently can't give her any space. It was the same with Josh too and the twins of course, he was especially clingy then. It killed him when Jo banished him to the couch.'

'Why did she banish him?' Dawson asked with a frown.

'Because it was twins,' Joey smirked, visibly lighter than she had been before she'd told Pacey. 'I couldn't imagine how I'd cope. Josh was five, Alice was three and it was twins.'

'I dared to knock her up twice in one go,' Pacey chuckled.

'And I was completely terrified.'

'This is how I like to spend Joey's pregnancies,' Pacey gestured to their proximity. 'So that's another reason it can't be twins. Fate wouldn't be that cruel.'

'Can we congratulate you?' Dawson asked.

'Not until scans and tests and all of that,' Joey stated a little tightly.

'Ok,' Dawson nodded. 'But it's good news right?'

'It's always good news,' Pacey answered easily smiling.

'Well...it's unexpected...'

'Sure,' Jen smirked, 'because when they say oops during kinky time it's a good thing.'

'You told her?' Pacey gave Joey a wounded look.

'Of course I told her. You said "oops."'

'So you were worried?' his expression softened.

'I knew I _could_ get pregnant,' Joey admitted but then looked down, 'but it was the very end of my period, and I'm thirty six and the chances were just so small. I had that meeting all day and then I had to collect Edie and Jay and we were meant to be seeing your parents. I know there are tablets you can take but Jen and I both thought it so unlikely and...'

'God Jo, I don't care,' he shook his head. 'You're my wife and I love you and we're not broke and nineteen any more. I love babies. I love kids.'

'Good,' she appeared to be appeased and sunk into his side.

'You guys are so...so...' Dawson was staring at them, a smile on his face that seemed almost sincere,

'So what?'

'You're just so calm. You have four kids. The youngest are twelve and you find out you're pregnant and you're so rational...so wonderfully together over it...'

'You've been listening to them right? You can't control life, you just gotta go with it.'

'What happened after Josh was born? Was it easy?'

'Easy?' Joey asked with amusement. 'No, it wasn't easy.'

'Oh don't listen to her, Josh was a dream,' Jen rolled her eyes.

'She wasn't there during the night,' Joey defended.

'But I know he didn't cry like Amy does. Not for hours,' Jen pointed out and Joey gave a concessionary huff,

'Well ok.'

'That baby woke them up for six weeks straight and then he slept, every night, all night,' Jack explained. 'We had parties, gatherings, study parties, all sorts and that baby slept.'

'Really?' Dawson frowned.

'Well...'

 _Seventeen years earlier - Boston - Joey and Pacey's apartment_

'Why won't he stop crying?' Joey covered her head as Pacey cuddled the baby and bobbed up and down.

'I don't know,' he said. 'Maybe he's hungry?'

'But I just fed him. I'm always feeding him. How can he be hungry?' she sighed and dropped to her side.

'You're tired baby,' Pacey sat beside her and rubbed her arm. 'It's normal.'

'And I'm sad,' she admitted, as tears streamed from her eyes.

'I know, I know, and it's all normal. If you don't feel better we'll go see the doctor.'

'I might feel better if I could sleep,' she mumbled sitting up and taking the baby, shifting her shirt aside and allowing him to feed.

'If you wanna express I can get up in the night with him?'

'Really?' she looked at him with large teary eyes and he nodded,

'Yes really. Look feed him now, express and then go to bed.'

'Everything has just happened so fast. One minute I was sat with Jack and then minutes later he was here. I love him, I mean I love him in this fierce way I just never really got before...but then we were in hospital and since then it's been this. Feed and cry, feed and cry. How will I ever go back to school in January? I must have been crazy.'

'Jo, baby's they grow and change so quickly...this might last a week or two, or tomorrow he may just sleep. Remember they said he was still nocturnal.'

'I remember,' she handed the baby to Pacey who changed his diaper in silence and then handed him back. As she fed him from the other side, he cleaned up.

'This is the hardest bit Jo. You gotta remember that we don't know this little guy. We made him but we don't know him, and it's gonna take time. The thing we do know is that we love him and we love each other. There's no reason this relationship won't be good once we understand what this little guy is all about.'

'You're probably right,' she sighed as she looked down at the tiny baby, his mouth all puckered up in a pout from feeding and his eyes closed, his fuzz of dark hair soft and curling. 'God he's so beautiful.'

'He is absolutely amazing,' Pacey agreed watching the baby snooze and smiling as he startled in his sleep, his little limbs tensing up and then relaxing back into sleep. 'Should we try shifting him into his Moses basket? Then you can express in bed and according to that very helpful nurse just leave the bottle by the bed for me to feed him.'

'Let's try, but if tonight is anything like last night he'll be up in an hour for a party.'

'Hey, we brought the party to him today. Jen and Jack were here, and Audrey and Charlie, we made lots of noise and kept it light. Hopefully the little guy will get the message.'

'Hopefully,' Joey sniffed and so Pacey carefully scooped up the infant and laid him in his basket, then carried the basket through to the bedroom. A minute later he was back and holding out his hand,

'I'd carry you too but I think I might hurt you.'

'You would,' she took his hand, 'I hurt just everywhere,' she pouted. 'And I feel disgusting.'

'You want me to run you a bath?'

'I want you to tell me I'm not disgusting,' her pout grew and was accompanied by a frown.

'Of course you're not,' he rolled his eyes.

'Then run me a bath in the morning before you have work.'

'I will. I'm sorry I can't take more time off. It's all so sketchy at work at the moment.'

'I know and I understand. It's ok. I'll be fine,' she said and then began to cry again.

'Aw hun,' he kissed her softly. 'Maybe Jen...'

'No school starts tomorrow. They both have class.'

'I won't go in Jo,' he promised hastily as she squirted toothpaste on her brush and tiredly brushed her teeth.

'You have to,' she attempted around her toothbrush. 'Can't get fired...'

'I know but I hate leaving you. I hate it,' he stared at her as she finished brushing watching as she spat in the sink,

'And that's why I love you. Go. I'll be ok.'

'I will be home as soon as I can.'

'I know,' she impulsively stepped up and hugged him tight. 'I'm sorry I'm no help. I'm sorry I keep crying.'

'Don't apologize,' he kissed her head, 'go express and sleep.'

'Ok.'

Pacey brushed his teeth and headed in to the bedroom where Joey was expressing.

'Don't look. I look like a cow.'

'You do not,' Pacey nudged her and then picked up the book they were reading, _Their Eyes Were Watching God_ by Zora Neale Hurston and began to read to her in soft, low tones. It took him a good ten minutes to realize she had fallen asleep the expresser and the small bottle of milk in in her slack hand, her shirt still up. Smiling at the sight he put the small bottle of milk with the teat on beside his bed. Gently he pulled her top down and snuggled into the bed with her closing his eyes for what felt like five minutes before he was opening them again.

 _Seventeen Years Earlier - Boston - Joey and Pacey's Apartment - the next day_

'I can't believe he called you,' Joey stated staring at her sister and Bodie. Bodie was holding Josh and smiling at the infant as Bessie stared moodily at the wall. Alex sat next to her staring at Sesame Street on the television.

'He should have called us the minute it happened,' Bessie huffed.

'You made your feelings pretty clear,' Joey could huff just as well as her sister. 'You haven't called me back in four months. Why does his birth mean alls forgiven?'

'All is most definitely not forgiven,' Bessie hissed.

'Bessie you're not being fair,' Bodie frowned.

'Fair? I'm not being fair?' Bessie half shouted but then lowered her voice, 'she,' wild pointing at Joey, 'put us through a lot to get her to this prestigious college. She...she judged my situation and...'

'I worked my ass off for all of us same as you Bessie. I worked at the Ice house when I should have been studying. I helped support you and Alex in Junior year pumping gas instead of studying... I have never shied away from making a bed or cleaning a toilet. I don't have to like it but don't pretend that you made a special concession for me where work was concerned. You didn't and I still made it here.'

'You stormed around the place like a moody teenager half the time...'

'I was a moody teenager,' Joey yelled, 'and the last time I checked you weren't my mother. I told you the truth. Josh was an accident. We messed up and we didn't mean to, same as you. And we're dealing with it, same as you. You're not fair to hold me to different standards than the ones you set for yourself.'

'If I hold you to different standards it's only because you've always done the same.'

'That's not true Bes,' Bodie told her, 'and the way I see it she hasn't screwed anything up. Look at the baby...look at their place... Imagine Joey disowned you when we got pregnant with Alex...'

'I'm not disowning her,' Bessie snarked, 'I'm mad.'

'Feels kind of the same. You don't think I've needed you these last few months? You don't think it would have meant a lot to be able to ask my sister questions? We've had nobody except our teenage friends to support us. Pacey's family are awful, except maybe Gretchen. They have cut him off completely and you've been no better.'

'God, I'm sorry,' Bessie covered her face with her hands. 'To be no better than them, I'm sorry. I've just been so...'

'Disappointed?' Joey asked bitterly.

'Yes,' Bessie admitted.

'Well I'm sorry I disappointed you,' she muttered darkly taking the fussing baby from Bodie and positioning him under her shirt.

'What did you honestly expect? That I'd be jumping for joy? That I'd be happy? This was a mistake Joey. You did mess up.'

'I know,' Joey admitted swiping at a tear. 'But normally when you mess up family doesn't completely abandon you.'

'That was wrong,' Bodie shot a look at Bessie.

'It was,' she admitted with difficulty. 'I love you Joey. A lot. You're more than my little sister and I know...I really know how hard this is.'

'He never stops feeding,' Joey admitted, 'and he doesn't want to sleep. Or he does but he wakes up like he's in pain and I think it's wind but I can't seem to get rid of it.'

'Well we can help with that. Let Bodie wind him when he's finished feeding. He always was the one to calm Alex down.'

'If I could just get some sleep it wouldn't be so bad...'

'Well that's why it's tough because that baby won't sleep until he's ready to. All you can do is facilitate sleep and encourage it without providing too many things he needs to sleep. Then relax about it because the stress of trying so hard makes it all worse.'

'Ok,' Joey nodded still staring warily at her sister.

'He's a beautiful baby,' Bessie offered.

'He's really sweet too,' Joey stared at her child and felt the same surge of love. 'He lies between us in the evenings and just sort of looks at us, like a little alien.'

'And how are you and Pacey?'

'We're good. I mean we don't have much time but we're still good. He's amazing with Josh. Really sweet and caring and I swear even though he's little he calms when he hears Pace. He's good with me too. He cooks and he even picks up.'

'You're not arguing?'

'No Bess, we're not arguing.'

'Sometimes it happens. People are tired...there are new insecurities that come with having a baby you know?'

'I know. Pace is really sweet to me. He got me this,' she held out her right hand and showed her sister a ring with inlaid diamonds.

'Wow...don't you think it's a little irresponsible to be spending money on diamonds...'

'No, I don't think it's irresponsible to spend fifty bucks on a silver ring with cubics zirconia to let your girlfriend know they mean the world to you, especially after they have your son after less than fifteen minutes of labour, unassisted, at home with your best friend catching the baby. I think it's entirely responsible. He told me he would have got me diamonds and gold but he knew I wouldn't want that and so he wanted this to mean the same and you know what? It means more.'

'What do you mean you had the baby in fifteen minutes?'

'I was sat here with Jack, because my _irresponsible_ boyfriend didn't want me alone. I had a massive pain in my stomach, vomited repeatedly and I felt the baby moving through me. Jack managed to get through to 911 but had to catch Josh less than five minutes later. He called Pace, sterilized one of our food bag clips and scissors and cut the cord.'

'Were you ok?'

'Not really,' Joey sighed, 'I mean obviously I am but I was in hospital for a few days. I had a blood transfusion and a couple of tiny stitches. I was lucky.'

'Why didn't he call?' Bessie asked faintly.

'He did. He left a message. You never returned his call,' Joey handed the baby to Bodie.

'This baby is milk drunk,' Bodie smiled picking up Josh's arm and watching it fall like a rag dolls.

'I'll change his diaper, that usually does it.'

'I'll do it,' Bodie pulled the change bag from beside the couch and laid out the mat.

'I'm sorry Joey. I.. I got mad and let it get the better of me. I wanted, desperately, for life to be easier for you than it was for me.'

'You don't have a bad life though Bes. I don't look at you and think I wouldn't want to be like you. You have a boyfriend who loves you, a cute kid, a successful business. Sure you've had to work hard and you had me, but really your life is something I could easily aspire to.'

'Really?' Bessie looked younger than normal and Joey nodded.

'I know it's not going to be easy but if I manage things like you, well, I'm not all that worried.'

'Thank you Joey.'

'No, thank you. You didn't just bring me up Bes, you did it well. This isn't the end...it's just the start of something different. You've shown me it doesn't need to be bad or awful.'

'I hope...I just...I was older than you...'

'Pacey loves her. Capesides worst kept secret is his absolute adoration. You knew,' Bodie reminded her.

'True.'

'They're gonna be fine,' Bodie said and then grinned as the baby burped.

'Show me,' Joey demanded.

 _Sixteen years and ten and a half months earlier - Boston - Joey and Pacey's Apartment_

Joey awoke with a startle sitting bolt upright in bed and gathering her wits about her in her disorientation. She let out a small gasp and noted her wet tshirt and instantly looked to the baby beside her who was looking up at her, apparently awake. She smiled and then he smiled. Looking at the clock she was surprised to see it was six in the morning.

'Are you hungry baby?' she asked and scooped up the infant.

'What's happening?' Pacey rolled over and looked at them in confusion, looking wonderfully well rested and for the first time in six weeks, his age.

'He slept,' Joey couldn't help but smile. 'From nine last night until now.'

'What time is it?' he sat up and rubbed his eyes and then looked at the clock. 'Wow, six! Awesome job Josh,' he let the baby grasp his finger as he greedily guzzled milk.

'I leaked everywhere so please don't stare,' she flushed in embarrassment as Pacey appraised her.

'Don't be crazy Jo. I don't care about wet tshirts. In fact I like them on you,' he teased but she wasn't in the mood,

'I mind Pace,' she tried to cover herself.

'Why?' he frowned.

'Because I'm nineteen. Because you're nineteen!'

'And?'

'And I'm meant to be hot. I'm meant to have good tits and a flat stomach and be having sex with you in the morning not feeding a baby under a milk soaked shirt with her still slightly pregnant looking stomach which has stretch marks on it,' she turned in the bed, away from him.

'Jo...are you serious?' Pacey lithely shifted over the bed until he was sat at her feet so he could see her.

'Of course I'm serious. I hate being like this.'

'You _just_ had a baby,' he took her hand.

'I know and now I'm a mom. I'm not your hot girlfriend, I'm _his_ mom.'

'You know you can be both,' he told her gently.

'Not when I feel like this,' she looked away. 'All I do is sit with him sucking on my breast...it's like I'm a milk machine and nothing else.'

'That won't be forever. He slept last night. For nine hours. Nine freaking hours Jo! That's amazing. This kid is six weeks old and he slept for nine hours.'

'Was it really nine hours?'

'It really was,' he told her, 'hence the milk on your shirt which I honestly don't mind.'

'Maybe you should,' she whispered.

'Should what?'

'Mind.'

'What's this about Jo?'

'We haven't had sex in two months. I'm leaking milk from my chest. I haven't shaved my legs or anywhere in more than two months. I'm disgusting. You haven't even made a move. I know when someone no longer finds someone attractive...it's not even your fault...'

'Joey, Jo,' his voice was soft and intimate, and he reached across and took the baby. 'I want you.'

'You don't. You don't kiss me like you used to, you don't try and touch me...'

'I haven't wanted to pressure you but I have wanted to kiss and touch you...'

'Why would it be pressure?' she asked swiping at a tear.

'Because you just pushed a baby out of there. The baby cries and needs you and I figured you didn't want me needing you too...'

'It feels terrible when I don't think you need me at all,' she admitted.

'Then don't feel terrible. I need you. I need to be close to you, to kiss you, to hold you. If you wanna know the truth I'm desperate for you. Every time I look at you I want you but that's not what I need to be loading onto you right now. As desperate as I am for you it isn't right for me to overwhelm you with my pervy needs.'

'Maybe I want to be overwhelmed with them. I mean not all the time but when Josh is sleeping, when we have a moment, maybe I want you to touch me. I don't feel like me anymore. I feel like I'm this feeding machine, this mom and there's hardly any Joey left. I want to be me again, to feel like only you make me feel.'

'Well,' Pacey edged nearer, 'looks like the little man is all tuckered out from his food,' he gently picked up the baby and laid him in his basket, 'almost to big for this as well. Maybe it's time he went into his nursery.'

'Maybe,' she stared at him, clearly apprehensive.

'Jo,' he sat beside her and leaned a little close.

'I'm nervous,' she admitted.

'So we start with a kiss,' he told her, brushing the hair from her face.

'A kiss?'

'Yeah,' and he pressed his lips gently to hers.

'I haven't brushed or...'

'I don't care,' he threaded his hand through her hair and caught her mouth again with his, a much deeper and more ardent kiss. He kissed her until he felt her let go and kiss him back.

'A kiss was good,' she whispered staring at him from under heavy lids.

'A kiss was great,' he agreed.

'I should shower,' she said and he pouted but nodded,

'Good idea while the kiddo sleeps.'

'You wanna come with me?' she gave him a look, a look he knew well.

'Hell yeah,' he stated and then flushed, 'I mean sure...why not...'

'I love that you said hell yeah,' she smiled. 'Don't look at anything that wobbles.'

'Like I fucking care about wobbles if you even had any,' his voice was deep and sexy, and the look in his eye told her it was true, before his lips crashed onto hers. He was less careful this time, more needy and she loved it because it gave her confidence. He half carried her to the bathroom and stripped off the old baggy tshirt of his that she wore to bed and his hands were everywhere just like she needed. She didn't even notice him turn on the shower but then they were in it together, the warm water beating down on them. All at once he stilled, his warm breath on her neck, his breathing deep.

'Pace,' she half pleaded.

'You'll say if I hurt you?' he asked and she nodded as he dropped to his knees, 'let's start with a kiss,' he whispered.

 _Present Day - Boston - Joey and Pacey's house_

'So what about your family Pace?' Dawson asked. 'I'm not surprised Bessie turned up, though a little surprised it took her so long.'

'She's made up for it since,' Joey admitted, 'she's done a lot of babysitting and had the kids for weekends at a time.'

'Alex must be twenty one now?'

'Yeah. He's in his last year at NYU. English is his major but he plans to join the police force.'

'Wow! Go Alex.'

'He's an awesome kid. Rebecca is Alice's age - they're really close,' Pacey put in.

'So how did things change with your family Pace?'

'Doug,' Pacey answered simply. 'We had a horrible week when I lost my job. In that week I was grumpy and angry and a complete screw up. Jack kicked my ass. By the middle of the next week both Joey and I had jobs. Mine was better than the one I lost. Hers was a filing clerk at a publishing company. Two shifts a week, each for four hours.'

 _Sixteen years and nine months ago - Boston - Joey and Pacey's Apartment_

Someone was banging on the door and Joey hurried through the apartment to answer it hoping desperately that they wouldn't wake the baby. She opened the door and started in surprise,

'Doug?'

'Hi,' he shifted from one foot to the other. 'So Pacey called Gretchen. He, uh, asked if she could pop over and see you today. Said you wanted a little company only Gretchen has to work and so she called me and...well here I am.'

'There you are,' her eyes narrowed.

'You look amazing,' he offered taking in her skirt and shirt, her long hair braided, her stomach back to normal, a fact she was infinitely thankful for.

'Today I happen to be feeling pretty good,' she admitted hoping he wouldn't see the blush staining her cheeks. Josh had been sleeping from eight until six thirty for the last couple of weeks and she felt like a new person. She and Pacey had time again and were behaving more like nineteen year olds in love again which made her feel blissfully happy. She enjoyed being his sexy girlfriend again as well as a mom. She felt nineteen - responsible, but nineteen.

'Pacey said to Gretchen that you uh...needed company?'

'I'm going back to start working part time next week. Grams has taken Josh a couple of times but she's away from now until Sunday. I wanted to do a trial run for both Josh and me of a full four hours. That's what it will be. I needed someone to take the baby for four hours.'

'Oh,' Doug nodded.

'Yeah oh. Don't worry. I'm sure it'll be ok...'

'I'll take the baby,' Doug offered.

'I'm afraid I can't let you do that,' she flushed a little and moved to put on some coffee.

'You can't?' Doug asked confused. 'You need a sitter and I'm here. I'm more than happy to take my nephew.'

'I meant I won't let you,' she admitted as a cry from Josh's nursery echoed in the apartment. 'I'll be back in a sec,' she said with a weak smile and went to the baby's nursery returning with the baby in her arms.

'Wow, he's big,' Doug stared at the baby who stared back with large hazel eyes.

'He's just over three months old you know,' she flicked the switch on the coffee maker.

'I know,' Doug nodded.

'Really? Because it seems only Gretchen acknowledged his birth.'

'I deserve that.'

'You deserve worse than that.'

'Is that why you _won't_ let me look after him?'

'No,' she shook her head. 'I won't let you because you call his father a loser and a screw up. I won't let you because I don't want my child around that kind of negativity even if he is just a baby.'

'You don't trust me to be nice to your baby?' Doug sounded offended but Joey's stance hardened,

'Why would I when you're not nice to his father?'

'I... I...'

'I don't know how Pacey has ended up as kind and loving as he is, but I do know that his family can't take credit for it.'

'Maybe I want to change,' Doug stated.

'When we came to see you, to tell you I was pregnant you mocked him. Asked me if I was, and I'm quoting you here, "still with this loser." You're not very nice.'

'When you told us...the truth is I was relieved. I was relieved that Pacey was going to be the one dad could heap the criticism and hate on.'

'Wow, and you say you want to change...'

'Joey I have a secret,' Doug admitted and all at once his face crumpled, and he covered it with his hands.

'Doug?' Joey stared uncertainly at the man crying in her living room.

'I've just done the same thing as dad my whole life - pick on Pacey. I don't even have to think about it - call him a loser, put him down, make fun of him. Anything and everything to keep dad's negative and vicious streak away from me.'

'You mean you do it deliberately? You target him to make sure your dad doesn't look at you? That's just horrible.'

'I'm scared Joey. I've lived my whole life with this secret and it's just grown bigger and bigger, and the fear that I'll be rejected, that I'll be beaten...'

'Has justified subjecting someone else to that?'

'They love Pacey. They're shit at showing it and they treat him badly but they do love him... My secret...I just...I don't think they'd want to know me anymore... I don't think they'd love me anymore...I fear my father's reaction might be physically and emotionally more than I can take...'

'What is it?' Joey sat beside him and unable to see someone in pain like he so obviously was, put a hand in her shoulder.

'I've never told anyone,' he looked at her with red rimmed eyes, 'for all twenty five years of my life I've kept this secret and...I just don't know how to say...'

'Doug are you gay?' Joey wasn't sure where the question came from but it felt right.

'Yes,' he admitted and sat a little straighter.

'Doug I don't think your parents would have a problem with that. that's not to say that I can't understand why you may fear their reaction.'

'How can you say that? You know what they're like? What my dad is like. I can just imagine the horrific things he'd say.'

'He never said anything to Jack,' Joey said softly. 'When Jack came out, not long after he went fishing with Pacey and your dad, and your dad and he got on great. Your dad was an ass to Pace but he thought Jack was the best.'

'He did?'

'Yeah.'

'He uses...derogatory terms,' Doug admitted.

'I'm pretty sure there's a lot of people who use a lot of terms without recognizing the potential damage it causes. They say these terms without considering the impact or the vulnerability of people who may hear them. I constantly say God. For gods sake and such. I imagine I may offend people. Sometimes it's there in my head, this awareness and other times it isn't.'

'That's not as bad...you're not a bad person with awful morals...that's a slip not...not...'

'I know. All I'm saying is perhaps your dad isn't homophobic but uses homophobic slurs because they're easy. They shouldn't be. I'm going to tell Josh as he grows to not allow gay to be tossed at him as an insult because it isn't an insult. There isn't anything wrong with being gay and he needs to not empower it's use as an insult.'

'Is there really a difference...you know between being homophobic and using those negative slurs because they're easy?' Doug looked at her and she sighed, and handing him the baby she sank back into the couch, watching as Doug lay him on his lap and stared down at the child.

'In many ways I want to say no. People should know better and if you're not homophobic logic and reason would suggest that those terms and phrases just don't roll off your tongue. However, some people need educating. Your dad didn't strike me as someone with a fear of the unknown or even things he doesn't understand. He's a drunk, and a shitty dad at times but I don't think he's an altogether awful person. I think if you told him not to use those phrases and words and you told him why...I think he'd listen.'

'Really?'

'I think you'd be happier if you found out,' Joey admitted. 'You're in Boston now. If your worst fears are realized you don't have to live with it. You have space to find happiness with people who aren't scared of the least scary thing in the world.'

'I want to be a better brother. There were times...times when I didn't entirely suck.'

'Pacey told me about those times,' she acknowledged.

'He's loved you for a long, long time. Sometimes he'd talk to me about it.'

'It's a shame you weren't like that more often.'

'I want to be. I want to be a better brother, I want to be a good uncle. I want you to let me look after the baby. Most of all I want to be honest about who I am. I don't want to be an awful person.'

'Well then start today,' Joey said and looked at Doug, 'start by looking after Josh for me.'

'Really?' his whole face brightened.

'Really.'

 _Present day - Boston - Joey and Pacey's house_

'Doug was the best brother and the best uncle from that day forward. And when he came out to dad,' Pacey chuckled slightly, 'well he didn't just come out as gay. He told dad to stop his derogatory bullshit with me. He told him he had a grandson and a son and they deserved him to be half decent. Doug, from Gretchen's account, was awesome. He is awesome.'

'So Doug Witter came out to you?' Dawson looked at Joey.

'I think it's a bit of a wake up call when someone won't let you be around their child. I think he had been ready to come out for a long time. Desperate to even.'

'Sorta funny that Jo helped us both out of the closet,' Jack grinned and Joey laughed loudly,

'I'd never thought of that,' she grinned, 'well look, let's go get the barbecue up and running because the house will soon be full of hungry kids.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi all,**

 **I'm so so sorry this has taken so long. I had relatives visiting, I started back at work, my last kid started school (sob) and it's been a crazy two weeks of change. I think only one more chapter for this one. Not written yet but hopefully soon. I have visitors this weekend and my daughters birthday party, then visitors again the week after...but hopefully I'll find some time and soon!**

 **Thanks for the reviews and support - they make a huge, huge difference to me - especially at times of multi tasking hell! Tab xx**

 **Present Day - Boston - Joey and Pacey's apartment**

'Uh, Joey...could I talk to you? Just you and me?' Dawson's request took her by surprise but she nodded her head uncertainly.

'Sure. You wanna help me set up outside while the others do inside.'

'Sure,' he nodded. 'I guess.'

'Dawson and I will sort out the table and chairs of you guys can handle the food,' she looked to Pacey who narrowed his eyes in question. She gave him the tiniest of nods and headed outside with Dawson. As they made their way onto the deck she began to move chairs around.

'Should you be doing that?' Dawson asked with a frown.

'Well it's my house so I pretty much do as I want,' she sent him a good natured frown in return.

'I meant being pregnant?'

'I'm pregnant not dying. I'm only a whiny madam when I'm huge.'

'But it's early days.'

'Look, I'm not gonna move a table or lift bricks. I'm shifting a couple of chairs. It won't give me a miscarriage.'

'If you're sure.'

'If I lose the baby it'll be because nature intended me to.'

'I just think you should let me do the lifting.'

'Dawson, there's nothing wrong with me moving chairs.'

'But if you lost the baby I'd never forgive myself.'

'For gods sake Dawson, I've had several miscarriages. You want me to blame them on every little thing I did? The truth is miscarriages occur in one out of four pregnancies - perhaps more. A lot of women miscarry before they even know they're pregnant. I look after myself and I'm healthy. I'm a strong lady and lifting a chair won't cause a miscarriage.'

'You've lost babies?' he stopped moving.

'Dawson how a woman chooses to deal with it is her own business. I was pragmatic. I mean I could afford to be because I had two kids already. But yeah I had three miscarriages before I got pregnant with Jay and Edie.'

'Wow, I didn't know.'

'Why would you?' she shrugged easily. 'Like I said, I was pragmatic. The truth is they don't know why miscarriages occur most of the time. Sometimes it just happens. I didn't lift anything those times and yet I rearranged furniture and shifted piles of books when I was pregnant with twins - before I knew I was.'

'I'm sorry. I should just...I don't know, learn when to be quiet.'

'Dawson, can I ask you a question?'

'Of course, anything?' he looked strangely optimistic having been so serious.

'Why are you getting us to tell you all this? I mean, you'll always be a friend but we haven't been friends, not for years.'

'I just want to be able to visualize it. I can't imagine it happening and when you tell the stories my head plays the scenes.'

'Are you planning another movie? Is that what you're doing? Because you know you didn't ask the first time and I'm not entirely comfortable with another movie that may or may not closely resemble my life.'

'I can't help but think about it,' he admitted, 'but really all I keep wondering, and you know, why I wanted to talk to you...well I wonder if you regret it?'

'Can you clarify what you mean there?' Joey stopped arranging and sat down. Dawson sat beside her.

'I mean this life. You didn't want to have a kid in college, I knew you well enough to know that and maybe...maybe because of the kid, and he is an awesome kid, you got trapped down a route that perhaps...well perhaps you didn't want.'

'So you're asking if I regret my life and the way I've lived it?' there was an edge to her voice he'd have had to be dumb not to pick up on.

'Not like that. I mean, yes you have wonderful kids and a nice home, and are apparently a successful author but this wasn't what you wanted. You wanted Paris and Worthington and...'

'I graduated from Worthington four months before Alice was born. It was lucky you know because it should have been a lot longer before but she was eleven weeks early and she nearly died. She had to have open heart surgery when she was strong enough. But I graduated Worthington. And you're right I did want Paris...'

'I would have given you Paris,' Dawson said and gave her a long, meaningful look, filled with untempered emotion.

'You know life is a long old business. If you're lucky I mean. I used to think if I hadn't made it to Paris before I was twenty then my life was not a success...'

'I could take you to Paris,' Dawson interrupted, 'like that,' and he snapped his fingers. Joey was caught surprised by the inclination to laugh and she did so,

'I've been to Paris Dawson. I've been all over France, and to England, to Italy and Greece.'

'Oh.'

'Pace and I saved for a long time to go to France and we went there when the twins were three. We wanted everyone to be able to enjoy it even though we had the money before then. We camped and travelled around in a rented car. It was awesome. Especially ordering freshly baked pan chocolat. We didn't go back to Europe until Jay and Edie were five. We hired a sail boat and hopped between the Greek islands. Italy was beautiful, we did that when Alice was obsessed with art history. England was great and we tied it in with a trip to Spain. I've travelled the world and even better I've done it with my family.'

'You still haven't answered my question.'

'I've been answering that question since that first night at your premiere.'

'You haven't. You've been telling a story. I tell stories too. Usually they're stories of what we want to have happened and not what did.'

'I haven't lied to you.'

'Oh I'm sure that what happened happened,' Dawson attempted to explain, 'but maybe you didn't feel about it like you thought. I mean you and Pacey? I knew you both at high school and I just don't see how you, Worthington girl, ended up with someone who barely graduated.'

'So what you're asking is if I really love Pacey?' she clarified uncertainly.

'Well...just whether I can help you...if you...you know...uh...want help.'

'From all we've told you that's what you've gotten? That you think I need help?'

'You've been quiet and I don't know, I used to know you pretty well and to me it's seemed like you've been hiding something.'

'You're right...Pacey isn't the father of this baby,' she whispered and Dawson recoiled in shock,

'Oh my god really?'

'Oh my god, no,' she shook her head, her tone dramatic. 'Dawson I don't need rescuing. And it's actually entirely insulting to ask if I regret my life. I wouldn't change a thing about my life you know. Nothing. It's been tough at times but worth it.'

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked,' Dawson looked chastised and uncomfortable.

'Oh I always knew you were going to. You've never been able to see that Pacey is twice the man you are. You've always been convinced that he trails in your path, in the shadows created by your golden haze, but it just isn't true. So Pacey isn't book smart but he sure is people smart, and society smart and good hearted and kind and sincere, and able to engage in witty banter and he's supportive. He trusts me too. Took him a while to realize that I loved him a lot more than I'd ever loved you but you know, he couldn't really fail to see it. I live and breathe for that man and if you want me to tell you about how he proposed or our wedding, or funny anecdotes from family vacations, or breakfasts or birthday parties...of you want to know about his dad and how things were fixed...well I'm not going to tell you if you're looking for a weakness that isn't there or a way to create division where there shouldn't be any.'

'That wasn't my intent Joey,' Dawson stated solemnly.

'Then what was?' she shook her head.

'I guess to make sure you really are happy.'

'Don't I seem happy?'

'It just seems...all a little too good to be true,' Dawson attempted.

'You know it's supposed to? Families are meant to be warm, affectionate places. Pacey and I worry about the kids same as any other parents. We also argue, usually about housework, but sometimes about bigger stuff. But we make up too. Because we love each other. I'm sorry you want to find trouble or subterfuge, but there isn't any.'

'You really love him?'

'Oh my god,' Joey stood up, 'I can't do this, I just can't,' she pressed a hand to her head and for a second didn't notice Dawson stand to hover behind her,

'It's ok...I can help...'

'Oh my god Dawson - you're the problem. Of course I really love my husband. I have four kids with him and we're married. We clearly have a fantastic sex life otherwise i wouldn't be knocked up again. What don't you get? I mean seriously. I travel, I write, I have gorgeous kids and a gorgeous husband. I feel loved. I feel like I'm the absolute centre of that mans universe.'

'That's cos you are Jo,' Pacey's drawl sounded from the patio doors and Joey's face brightened instantly. 'All ok out here?'

'Dawson was just checking I didn't need rescuing from my life?' she rolled her eyes and crossed the deck to slide her arms around him.

'And do you?' he asked with a hand running up her spine before pushing his fingers into her hair.

'No,' she smiled then and so did he.

'Didn't think so, but never hurts to check. Thanks for that man,' Pacey gave a nod to Dawson. 'I think Edie needs her mama. Josh said that the unkind word was used, and Edie is angry more than anything.'

'I'll go see her,' Joey nodded but then pulled his head to hers and kissed him, her tongue tangling lazily with his.

'Hmm,' Pacey stared down at her as if he'd forgotten why they were standing there.

'Maybe you wanna tell Dawson about your dad while you're out here and what happened after.'

'Sure,' he gave her a smile.

'So you wanna hear the story of how my dad came round?'

'Sure,' Dawson eyed him wearily.

'Doug had been spending quite a bit of time with us, along with Gretchen. His decision to come out brought this side out in him that we just hadn't ever known before. Of course he was hanging out at our place and Jack and Jen were there nearly every day as well and obviously you know where that went. Anyway, I digress,' Pacey shifted the table a little so the extra chairs would fit round. 'Doug had organized with dad for us to visit at Christmas. We were going to sleep at the B&B but go for Christmas dinner there.'

 **Sixteen years and eight months earlier - Capeside - Witter House.**

'You ready for this?'

'Not my family, don't care what they say to me, just care about you,' Joey shrugged.

'Of course I forgot, you were the badass girl who shamed the entire Witter family last time you were here.'

'No you didn't,' she rolled her eyes and lifted Josh out of his stroller and onto her hip. 'You grab the cookies and the diaper bag.'

'Sure thing missus,' he nodded.

'You can't call me that, we're not married.'

'Yet,' he mumbled.

'We're getting married are we?' she chuckled.

'Well I'm gonna ask you, you know that,' he tweaked her nose.

'But you haven't.'

'Well I need it to be perfect.'

'Do you?' she laughed.

'Well you're perfect and I really want you to say yes, so you know.'

'I know,' she agreed. 'Though it doesn't have to be perfect.'

'It does. You've met my family.'

'Doesn't put me off you,' she shrugged, 'besides which you brother and sister aren't so bad.'

'My dad though.'

'Doesn't scare me. I mean that man could arrest my father and...' she sighed dramatically.

'Oh shut it you,' he wrapped an arm around her.

'This doesn't worry me Pace, not for me. For you, I worry. I hate them making you feel bad about yourself because I see only wonderful things.'

'That's cos you're blinded by love.'

'Whatever,' she sighed.

'Love and multiple orgasms...'

'Orgasms don't make you blind,' she scrunched up her face,

'Not what my family told me,' he deadpanned and she giggled.

'Come on Witter,' she slipped her hand into his as he knocked at his family front door for the first time in his life.

'Pacey,' Anna answered, 'and Joey...right?'

'Right,' Joey nodded curtly.

'And your baby,' Anna stared at the little boy, tilting her head to one side. Josh for his part was fast asleep on Joey's shoulder with his little pouty mouth and chubby cheeks, a stray curl whisping out the front of the ridiculously cute elf like hat Doug had got him. 'He's gorgeous,' Anna stated sincerely.

'His name is Josh,' Joey said pointedly and Anna flushed,

'I know...I just... come in. It's cold out.'

'Are they here?' Kerry appeared looking more energized than Joey had ever seen her. Her eyes zeroed in on the baby and her hand went to her heart,

'Oh my, but he is adorable. Let me hold that gorgeous little boy,' her hands plucked him from Joey before she could think to prevent it and Kerry had Josh on her shoulder, her hand stroking his back as she murmured, 'I'm your Aunty Kerry little Josh.'

'Kerry I was about to hold him,' Anna frowned.

'You snooze you lose,' Kerry smirked and continued to sway her way into the living room.

'So I'm sorry,' Anna stated bluntly, 'didn't figure you'd really be around all that long. I mean you guys were just out of high school. I didn't mean to be a bitch.'

'Apology accepted,' Joey said simply, figuring if Anna were anything like Pacey, Gretchen and Doug, she was going to be blunt but probably decent.

'Sorry for being a crappy big sister,' she turned to Pacey. 'Your girlfriend is hot and your baby is the cutest baby I've ever seen but I'll swear to Kerry I never said that.'

'Forgiven,' Pacey shrugged and Anna hugged them both before turning and dragging them into the living room.

'Oh yeah, Merry Christmas.'

'Merry Christmas to you too,' Joey said easily and arched her eyebrows in disappointment at the sight of John Witter sat in his chair, drinking beer.

'Pacey and Josie,' his mom bustled into the room.

'It's Joey,' all five Witter children said at once and Joey was thrilled to see the older woman blush,

'Sorry, some names I just can't get,' she bustled. 'Where's my newest grandson.'

'Josh is with Kerry,' Joey overemphasized Josh's name.

'Yeah ma, here,' Kerry nestled the baby close to her.

'Let me see,' Mary moved to Kerry and peered at the baby for a stupidly long time,

'Something wrong there Mrs Witter?'

'He doesn't look much like Pacey.'

'Well uh yeah he does. And he is only four months old.'

'Mom, when he's awake he looks just like Pace, in the mouth and around the chin,' Doug muttered taking the baby from Kerry with ease. 'Look at that little face...'

'You know what,' Pacey muttered, 'the kid looks like himself. Josh is his own person. His eyes look like Joey's and yeah his mouth is like mine, but altogether he's Josh.'

'Well now that might be true,' Mary ran a finger over one of Josh's cheek, 'he's a rather gorgeous baby.'

'Course he is. Look at his mom and dad,' Gretchen grabbed the baby from Doug who was some how managing to sleep despite all the passing around.

'Let's have a look at this baby then,' John's gruff voice broke through the cooing. Joey eyed up John, sat in his chair, beer in hand and several empties beside his chair. She retrieved her baby from Gretchen before someone could hand him the kid and held him up in front of John just as Josh finally woke up, his eyes fluttering open as he yawned.

'You got a cute kid there,' john gestured at Pacey with a beer bottle, 'don't fuck it up.'

'Wasn't planning to,' Pacey grumbled as John held out a hand to Josh. The baby caught his finger in his fist.

'This might be the best fuck up you ever made,' John smiled at the baby and Josh smiled back. 'Lemme hold the kid.'

'Sorry, not gonna happen,' Joey sat down in the couch next to Gretchen who had flopped there.

'You're not gonna let me hold my grandkid? You know I raised five kids myself and none of them are dead.'

'You're drunk,' Joey stated bluntly, 'and I don't think the kid needs to have that kind of thing be a part of his life. I just don't think a drunk guy should hold a baby. I don't think someone who speaks to his son like he does gets to hold his grandson either. So no, I'm not gonna let you hold your grandkid.'

'Wow, I guess we can see who wears the pants,' John acted like he was the most amusing son of a bitch around.

'Nope, she's just never been scared of standing up to you. I was once, back when I was half your size and a kid, but not Joey. And she's right. You shouldn't be drunk around Kerry's kids and like hell your gonna be drunk around mine. We'll stay for dinner but if you wanna see me, Joey or have anything to do with our kid you're gonna have to learn to sober up.'

'Grown yourself a backbone have ya?' John gulped back more beer, as Joey sighed loudly.

'We took Josh to meet my dad yesterday. At the state penitentiary where you put him. He was a better dad and a much better granddad than you're being right now. I told you I wouldn't bring my baby here if you insisted on putting Pacey down. I'm sorry Mrs Witter and I'm sorry to everyone, but we're going to have to go,' she stood, relieved when Pacey stood too, with a shrug and a "what do you expect" eye roll at his father.

'Now hang on a second there girly. I got you saying it at me and now I got Doug saying it at me, and Gretchen saying it at me... I'm only saying it how I see it.'

'Well then you're blind,' she muttered.

'Well how should I be seeing it? That kid there practically flunked high school.'

'A high school diploma doesn't make you a good man, or something special.'

'Makes you smart,' John pointed out.

'Well that's where you're wrong. Way wrong. Pacey may not score well in tests or essays but that's not because he lacks intelligence. That boy is smarter than me. He knows stuff about things I've never heard of, and his quick witted and kind and loving. He works so damn hard for me and his kid. He's endlessly patient and has endless energy when I just can't find any. He's so sweet with the baby. God it melts my heart. And I love him. I'm a smart person by your standards and I love him. I love him so much I want to marry him.'

'Glad to hear it,' Pacey took her hand.

'No Pace, I want you to marry me. I don't want some big proposal or a big wedding or anything, I just want to marry you,' she stared at him and then bit her lip, 'will you marry me?'

'Of course I'll marry you,' he grinned widely. 'Yes...I mean that was you asking right?'

'Right.'

'Then, you couldn't stop me,' his smile was contagious as he kissed her, an ineffectual given the size of his smile. 'I'm gonna ask you as well though.'

'You don't have to.'

'But it's all planned,' he complained. 'I mean all of it.'

'Really?'

'Yes,' he brushed a strand of hair from her face, 'all planned.'

'Then I look forward to it,' she smiled. 'Sorry if I rained on your parade.'

'You asked me to marry you...kinda made my life.'

'He's been in love with you for years...' Gretchen pointed out, as his siblings surrounded them.

 **Present day - Boston - Pacey and Joey's house**

'So she asked you?'

'She asked me,' Pacey nodded, looking at Dawson's contemplative expression. 'I really did have the proposal all planned. I'd saved some money from a private catering job I'd done and Doug loaned me some, on a payment plan of course and I'd got her a ring. I was so pleased with that ring and I'd planned to take her out on a boat I'd hired. We weren't going to actually sail, just snuggle below deck. Jack and Jen were gonna have Josh for the night and everything.'

'But you didn't get to do it?'

'Well I did it, and I asked her again, on one knee and everything, but we were already engaged really, so instead we planned the wedding.'

'In one night?' Dawson frowned.

'Pretty much. Summer after her classes finished, we picked a weekend and told our immediate family and friends to be at the Capeside registry office. We had a pot luck dinner at the B&B after. If you're trying to visualize it, it wasn't grand. Joey had a bouquet of lilies and she wore the most beautiful long white dress and a veil. I wore a tux but that was as formal as it got. We got this awesome band to play and danced all night. Jen and Jack strung up fairy lights with the help of some of our other friends, Bodie gave her away and the food sharing worked perfectly. Best night of my life. I wouldn't change a thing.'

'Seems she feels the same,' Dawson stated knowing Pacey wasn't dumb and knew how inappropriate he'd been.

'Yeah. If there's one thing I'm confident about it's that Joey Potter loves me,' Pacey turned and looked at Dawson. 'I'm not mad that you asked her, you know? I'm not insecure anymore - well most of the time I'm not. Because the thing about spending your life with someone and I mean really sharing that life is that I do know her, and I understand her, and I will always do whatever I can to make her happy. I also know that if I'm not making her happy she's gonna tell me.'

'Has she ever told you?'

'A couple of times,' Pacey laughed, 'but more often than not it's a lot of stresses all at once. She found it tough after the twins were born. She wanted to write, she was with the kids all day, I was working long hours and so we reassessed and did what we could. That's all you can do. We always talk. It works for us.'

'Hey dad,' Edie wondered out and smiled.

'You look a little happier,' he pulled her into a cuddle which earn him an eye role and a begrudging hug in return.

'I talked to mom and she rationalized it all for me. I'm good now. Can't let them keep you down,' she smirked at her father.

'That's right kiddo,' he wrapped her blond braid around his finger. 'You wanna help me cook?'

'Sure,' she nodded. 'Though I promised Jay we could play basketball when he was home, so I'm only helping for twenty minutes or so.'

'Your brother doesn't want to help?'

'You know he doesn't,' she laughed. 'My brother is not into cooking at all which just drives dad crazy. He thinks we should all be able to cook as a life skill. Give Jay laundry and he can do it. He takes out the bins without batting an eyelid but he hates to cook. Kinda like mom.'

'Then he better end up with someone like me or suffer from malnutrition,' Pacey teased.

'So maybe I can ask you questions Dawson, before everyone is here?' she turned her blue eyes on him and he nodded uncertainly,

'Uh, sure, fire away!'

'Are you in love with my mother?'

'Well I was...'

'But now?'

'I don't think so.'

'You know she loves my dad?'

'Yeah.'

'So it was just fantasy then? Because I'm fielding a lot of questions from people at school who've seen the film and read the blurb and after seeing Alice with Tom...'

'Just fantasy. Pure fantasy.'

'But you didn't know my mom married my dad?'

'Not until the premiere.'

'So you never googled them? Facebooked them? Anything?'

'Your mom's not on Facebook is she?'

'No, she prefers Twitter. But dad is.'

'I wasn't...I don't know, ready to engage so I didn't do more than google them and I didn't really get much.'

'Hmmm.'

'Did you like the movie?'

'Bits of it,' Edie shrugged. 'I just don't think you picked up on where the chemistry was. It was too easy, the relationship between Colby and Sami. Too cliche. Too tender. There was no passion. I'm surprised you didn't see it when you wrote it, but it was always between Petey and Sam.'

'You think like a lotta other people out there.'

'You know what I really think?'

'What?' Dawson stared at Joey and Pacey's daughter.

'You need to get a girlfriend.'

'You're probably right,' he chuckled.

'And you need to stop all thins longing for my mom.'

'Agreed again.'

'Especially now she's pregnant. Don't stress her out.'

'Hey kid, how'd you know that?' Pacey squeezed her shoulders and she looked up at him,

'How didn't you know?' she smirked.

'I just...'

'Couldn't figure it out?' Edie muttered, 'she was all preoccupied, not eating, throwing up...it was kinda obvious dad.'

'I've been working early's Miss Marple.'

'I think you're just wholly unobservant dad,' Edie teased.

'I'll have you know I play the closest attention to your mom out of everyone.'

'I know, I know, you worship the ground she walks on - that's obvious, but as long as she's loving you, you can miss the details.'

'So I missed the details,' Pacey grumbled. 'This time. But I wasn't expecting her to be pregnant. It was way off my radar.'

'I know,' Edie giggled, 'asking Josh and Alice to help mom out, and whether they thought she was ok. You thought she had writers block!'

'Well when she gets it the symptoms are similar,' Pacey defended.

'Fine, I'll give you that,' Edie wrinkled her nose.

'You're ok with the news?'

'You mean that I won't be the baby?'

'Well yeah,' Pacey looked at his youngest daughter feeling overwhelmed with love for her,

'I always wanted you guys to have another baby. I thought I'd be younger if you did, but you know. I kinda lucked out with my family so the more of us the better!'

'Really?'

'Of course dad,' Edie leaned over and kissed his cheek. 'Why do you think all our friends love coming here. The baby is lucky it gets to come to us!'

'You know it's early days right?'

'I know. Chances of miscarriage are higher and all that. I know.'

'So you think this is a good thing?'

'Well especially because you're gonna pay me for babysitting, right?'

'On the odd occasion I guess,' Pacey agreed.

'I love you dad.'

'Love you too Edie.'

'Hey guys,' Joey smiled as she came out with a plateful of food. 'Ellie just arrive and Jay was dropped home. Alice is on her way. Toms coming now, so I think it's time to get cooking.'

'You know Ms Edie's got us figured?'

'Yep,' Joey gave her daughter a hug, 'never could keep anything from her.'

'Joey, I've got the salad here. You just want everything on the table?' a small dainty black girl with a head full of curls and a bright smiled practically skipped onto the deck.

'Perfect El,' she said. 'Ellie this is Dawson, Dawson this is Ellie - Josh's girlfriend.'

'Nice to meet you,' Dawson smiled.

'Loved the movie,' Ellie smiled, 'though I didn't much like the ending.'

'So I've been told,' Dawson acknowledged as Josh appeared, wrapping an arm around Ellie and whispering in her ear before pressing a kiss to her neck, drawing her down onto the grass. Dawson stared at them for a moment, laughing together on the grass, the exaggerated hand talking Josh was doing reminding him of Pacey when he was a kid. He watched as Alice, apparently home, interrupted them, showing them a message on her phone. His attention was turned moments later to Jay who was playing basketball by a hoop, but was calling to his twin sister to come and play. Lastly his attention focussed on his friends youngest daughter, the slope of her forehead, the arch of her cheekbones all so reminiscent of Joey when she was younger. This girl could have been Joey despite the blond hair and her eyes, the blue of her father's. All of a sudden he felt a disconnect, that he was an intruder in a life he had no part in. His eyes flitted to Jack and Pacey, laughing over something and teasing as they attempted to light the barbecue. Joey was rolling her eyes and shouting some barbed comment at her husband before dragging Jen to a couple of comfy chairs.

'You alright Dawson?' she asked and he tried to smile but could feel his face, his heart resisting. He wasn't really sure how to answer either.


	6. Chapter 6

_Ok, so I'm so sorry this has taken so long. I got frustrated with it because I felt it lost itself a little because I was trying to tell too much and I never intended to tell everything - such as Alice's birth (sorry). I really appreciate all the support this nugget of an idea has gathered - you guys are the best! I hope this satisfies everyone. The end was written before I started this, so I hope the last scene doesn't disappoint. If you feel something's really missing then say. I won't mark it as complete until all feedback is in and if you need something more I'll write it!_

 _Tab xx_

 _p.s. Thanks for the nudge Kelly ;-)_

 **Chapter 6**

'Nothing ever changes does it?' Jack shook his head at Pacey.

'What exactly are you expecting to change?' Pacey asked as his foot tapped impatiently on the linoleum.

'You always want to be with her,' Jack mused, 'and I'm not exactly expecting to to change ever. More just musing over how it never does.'

'That obvious?' Pacey gave a wry smile.

'It's always _that_ obvious,' Jack grinned.

'Stupid hospital rules,' Pacey scowled a little and Doug whacked him on the back of the head,

'You had four kids and fours the limit on visitors,' he chided lightly. 'I can't believe you have two more.'

'I thought it was a joke. All along I thought that but now there's proof,' Gretchen admitted.

'I was so sure twins wouldn't happen again, I mean I used the bomb on a plane analogy for Jo and everything but my sperm are apparently super,' Pacey gave them all a shit eating grin.

'Your sperm aren't super,' Jen gave him a withering look. 'Joey produced two eggs. Apparently she does that a lot. If anyone's reproductive system is super it's hers!'

'So why do I get the blame when she's pregnant with twins?'

'Your sperm fertilize both damn eggs,' Jen rolled her eyes and then under her breath mimicked Pacey, ' _oops_.'

'I heard that,' he grumbled. 'Ok, so I know they're my kids but they could get a wriggle on,' he muttered darkly.

'She's ok,' Jen reminded him.

'Sure, sure,' Pacey rolled his eyes, 'if you call a four hour surgery ok.'

'Focus on the important things here,' Gretchen stated 'she's alive and so are your kids. They're all doing well.'

'Ah crap, I know it could be worse,' Pacey admitted.

'What happened? What the _hell_ happened?' Bessie appeared, panting from running up the halls.

'She's ok Bess,' Pacey reassured her immediately. 'She had the babies super fast again. We were at home and everything was fine. The kids were making dinner. It was their night and Jo and I were just mucking about on the couch talking,' Pacey sighed. 'It was a really nice night. We were laughing like idiots, I can't even remember what was so funny now and then she got this pain. This pain, I mean you could see it on her face. There was no way she could hide it even if she'd wanted to because she literally drained of colour. I yelled for Josh to call an ambulance...' Pacey trailed off and shook his head,

'And? What _happened_?' Bessie threw her coat and scarf on a chair but stared at Pacey.

'There was so much blood. I mean one minute we were being silly and then she's soaked in blood. The kids were amazing. Jay and Edie waited outside for the ambulance and Josh and Alice got blankets and clips. I figured we better be prepared if it was like last time.'

'And was it?' Bessie asked impatiently.

'She knew they were coming just like with Josh and she knew just like me that thirty six weeks isn't bad but forty is better and in a hospital is better if they're early, especially with twins - it was a truck load of _could be betters_. We took off her bottoms and the boy was there, like I don't know after how many minutes but it couldn't have been more than ten. I handed him to Alice and it felt like only moments later that the girl arrived, and they were crying. I mean the girl she was a little blue in her feet and hands but I rubbed her and we wrapped her up after dealing with the cord but Joey, she just lay there on the couch. She asked for the babies but I swear if Josh and Alice hadn't of been there she'd have dropped them. The ambulance arrived as she passed out.'

'Did Jay and Edie see...'

'No! No, thank god Alice and Josh took the babies to show them and thankfully kept their cool. I don't know how because I freaked out a little and yelled a lot at the paramedics.'

'So is she ok? Are the babies ok?'

'Jo lost a ton of blood. Much more than last time and they...well she won't be able to have more kids. They had to stop the bleeding and whatever they did has made that impossible. I mean we don't want more but I don't know how she'll feel about it,' he shrugged. 'She's got a drain in, a drip in, a catheter in and she's having a transfusion. She's been better but she's alive.'

'And the babies?'

'They're ok,' Pacey couldn't help the smile. 'In with Joey and not in special care. The little girl needed a little warming but they're fine. Small but beautiful.'

'There's nothing wrong with small dad,' Edie stated as she pranced out of her mother's room with a little skip. Pacey caught her and pulled her onto his knee, hugging her tightly. 'You were awesome today kid.'

'I may be awesome but I'm starving. We all are. I know this has been a crazy day but do you think Papa Johns delivers to the hospital?' she quirked an eyebrow at him.

'Yes I think they probably do.'

'We'll sort out pizza Ms Edie,' Doug tugged her pony tail.

'Gotta celebrate your entrance to big sisterdom,' Jack teased.

'Don't worry, Aunty Gretchen's been giving me lessons,' Edie smirked.

'Just ensure they know who's boss,' Gretchen stated. Still single and still childless, by choice and circumstance, Gretchen took her role as cool aunt incredibly seriously.

'These two are so the boss,' Josh smirked as he and Alice appeared in the hall each holding a small bundle. 'Dad, go see mom. I know you're probably...'

'Desperate,' Pacey interrupted and practically leapt off the seat leaving the others to dote on his beautiful children. 'Those babies are mine in five. You hear me, you got five minutes,' he told them from the doorway. He stared at Joey who still looked pale and sick, even with Jay, who suddenly seemed enormous, lying carefully beside her on the bed, her fingers ruffling his hair. 'Hey gorgeous,' Pacey approached the bed and took her hand.

'You let the kids in first,' she frowned a little and he smiled,

'Well you gave us all a bit of a shock, but I think they needed the visual reassurance of you alive.'

'And you didn't?'

'Me? Meh, I was cool as a cucumber,' he took her hand, threading their fingers together.

'Yeah, that's why he had a melt down on the paramedics,' Jay muttered with an evil smirk at his dad.

'I wouldn't call it a meltdown...'

'Fine panic attack,' Jay kissed his mom's cheek and rolled off the bed, 'I'll give you guys a minute,' he offered astutely.

'Isn't a minute what got us into this?' Joey teased Pacey as Jay left the room.

'More like five and an oops.'

'Hmm, yeah,' she sighed and her eyes fluttered closed.

'I did have a melt down...or a panic attack or whatever,' he admitted and her eyes slowly opened.

'I'm sorry we scared you,' she tugged him closer, and her weakness was obvious.

'I just...God...really, really, really love you. I mean, I don't know what I could ever do without you.'

'Well that's ok, because you're stuck with me.'

'You promise?' he asked swiping at a tear.

'I promise.'

'Good.'

'They're cute aren't they?' she asked and he nodded, still wiping at his eyes.

'Of course they are. Look at the others.'

'Both dark though.'

'Edie will always be our unique little butterfly,' Pacey pressed his face to their hands.

'They're all unique and wonderful,' she narrowed her eyes at him and he laughed,

'I know. You know what I meant.'

'I do,' Joey smiled.

'What are we going to name them?' he asked with a furrow to his brow and Joey tugged him closer until he gave up and moving around the bed took the space that Jay had vacated.

'That's better,' she sighed.

'Oh I agree,' he kissed her cheek. 'So names?'

'What was it you wanted?' she frowned, 'Owen for a boy and Ella for a girl?'

'Those were suggestions I made when you were pregnant! Like the second I found out. You never wanted to talk names. What do you want?'

'I never wanted to talk names because I thought you had it right. Owen Jacob Witter and Ella, well I have no idea of a middle name for her.'

'What about Josephine?'

'Really?' Joey managed to arch her brows in surprise despite her fatigue.

'Why not? Josh has Pacey in his name. Why not give Ella Josephine in hers? First born got my name, last born yours.'

'Deal,' Joey nodded. 'I don't mind my name so much these days anyway.'

' _Really_?' his voice squeaked like it used to do in high school and she giggled,

'Nope.'

'So I can't hope to be tackled to the ground for using it?'

'Why don't you test that theory when I can move?'

'Sure,' he grinned, 'how's the pain?'

'Bad,' she acknowledged. 'I think I need to say hi to the assembled masses who are really here to see the newborns and then feed them and sleep.'

'Sure. I'm staying tonight. The nurses are bringing in a cot. Josh and Alice agreed to make sure Jay and Edie get to school on time and to provide supervision. I think we can trust them given where we are.'

'Good,' she gave a little exhale of relief, 'ok, go send the others in and then kick them out in five minutes by saying the babies want a feed.'

'Yes ma'am. Can I tell them the names?'

'Sure,' she smiled indulgently, 'you always did love that bit.'

'You really don't mind?'

'Call the kids in. We'll tell them and then you tell the others.'

'Deal,' he nodded, 'though if that yelly nurse comes by again to yell at me for having more than four in your room, I'm hiding under the bed.'

'Ok Pace,' she laughed.

* * *

'Did you decided on names?' Gretchen asked the second Pacey and the kids exited Joey's room.

'Might a done,' he gave a causal shrug but Doug punched him in the arm - hard.

'Ow...'

'Well tell us. You know we're always insanely invested in the names,' he defended.

'Ok, ok. So your Christmas card will be from Joey, Pacey, Josh, Alice, Jay, Edie, Owen and Ella.'

'Owen and Ella?' Doug clarified.

'Owen Jacob and Ella Josephine.'

'Love it,' Bessie said simple and ducked into Joey's room.

'Very cute,' Gretchen agreed and ducked in too leaving Doug and Jack, his two best friends each cradling a baby tightly too their chests.

'You guys switched,' Pacey mused.

'Huh?' Jack gave him a blank look.

'You always used to hold Edie and Doug used to hold Jay, now you've switched.'

'We love all your kids. We'd die for them. Which you know,' Doug pointed out.

'Yeah, I love your kid too,' Pacey agreed.

'Which is why we're each other's guardians,' Jack ran a finger over the dark hair of the baby's head.

'You did good Pace,' Doug stated with a smile at his brother. 'You all did.'

 _Five weeks later - Boston - Pacey and Joey's house_

'Look at you,' Pacey cooed over the two infants lying between he and Joey on the couch, before scooping up Owen and kissing his little face.

'Was I this tired the last time?' Joey asked with a sigh and Pacey nodded,

'Worse because you had to do the school run with Josh and you had Alice had home full time.'

'Ugh,' she groaned. 'Remind me to never have twins again.'

'I did the last time,' he grinned. 'Shall I put on some tv?'

'Mmm, please,' she sighed.

'Oh, before I do, I should tell you I emailed Dawson.'

'You did?' she scooped up Ella who was beginning to cry and pushed her bra out the way to nurse. 'Hand me Owen too,' she requested and he helped her position the baby.

'I send him the picture we took for Christmas emails, the good one with us all and told him about Owen and Ella's dramatic entry in the world.'

'Did he email back asking for more details?' she asked dryly and he smirked,

'Nope. I put in plenty of details for him. I told him all about the speed of it all, how great the kids were. I caught him up on everyone. How Alice is still dating Tom and how I now think he's alright. I told him about Josh and Ellie's plans to travel next summer.'

'Good for you,' Joey put her feet up and Pacey seeing her struggle repositioned her pillow under the babies.

'He emailed straight back.'

'He did?' she widened her eyes theatrically and he laughed,

'Yep. All it said was TWINS?' in big capital letters.

'I forgot he left before we knew,' she laughed softly. 'He went so quiet that day and then just left and that was that. I thought he might be mad.'

'I think he realized that really he wasn't part of things anymore.'

'Why would he be?' she complained, 'when he never bothered to contact us before or since?'

'He sent another email,' Pacey admitted.

'Saying what?'

'Saying I was a good man. I know it sounds all patronizing but I think...'

'He's finally seen what the rest of us have known for years?' she arched a brow.

'I don't know. He just said he didn't think anyone could make you as happy as me.'

'Well that's true,' she smiled.

'And that I was a great dad and just a good man. That he knew I always would be, but that he didn't want to admit it.'

'I think that's Dawson's way of saying sorry?' she asked and he nodded with a shrug.

'I just love you. I'm not perfect Jo, God I know that, but I really, really love you and maybe that's the thing.'

'Pace, I don't think you have any idea quite how wonderful you are.'

'I fell in love with you Jo, this earth shattering never ending love. It's been kinda easy to live this wonderful life with you.'

 _Nine weeks later - Boston - Pacey and Joey's house_

'Are they really in bed?' Joey asked. 'Please tell me that crying is just in my head.'

'It's just in your head,' Pacey chuckled.

'How is a house with six kids in it so quiet?'

'Technically there's...' Pacey mentally counted, 'ten kids.'

'Who's here?' Joey asked with a yawn.

'Josh, Ellie, Alice and Tom are playing pool in the basement and Jay and Edie are playing night basketball with Ben and Theo. Lucia's mom collected her when you were nursing.'

'Wow. So maybe we should go upstairs,' Joey yawned again. 'I mean as Theo and Ben are staying over and I know you put snacks out so...'

'That works. I can always wait up and call the four of them in at ten for bed.'

'You think I want to go to bed and sleep?' she asked in amusement.

'Don't you?' he frowned and she smirked and leaning forward whispered in his ear, pleased with his faint blush and the immediate movement of his hands to her waist.

'Then I want to sleep,' she stated as she sat back away from him.

'You're sure?'

'I think this is the longest we've gone without sex. I mean I'm nervous but I really, really miss you inside of me.'

'Well in that case,' he jumped up and she laughed as he took her hand leading her enthusiastically upstairs turning and capturing her mouth in a heated kiss the second they were in their bedroom.

'Woah there tiger,' she laughed.

'Jo,' he protested, his hands nudging under the edge of her shirt but she pushed them out,

'I...' she sighed and then widened her eyes as she struggled to find the right words reminding him of a youthful, nervous Joey Potter. Sometimes she didn't look any different to how she had at eighteen and this was one of those moments. She suddenly was youthful, bashful even.

'What's up?' he frowned.

'I just...' Her mouth puckered a little with her obvious anxiety.

'What is it Jo? We don't have to do anything you know? There's no pressure here. You had babies nine weeks ago and we've been parenting six kids...'

'Oh I want to Pace,' she rolled her eyes, 'I just...I'm worried because I'm not the same.'

'Not the same?' his brow puckered.

'The same way I'm not the same after every other kid we've had Pace,' she rolled her eyes another quintessential Joey move that still turned him on.

'You know it always feels great,' he protested.

'I'm not worried about that exactly...more that my body's different. I still haven't lost all the weight...'

'Nine weeks Jo, and you're always gorgeous.'

'And I have new stretch marks.'

'You do?' his eyes immediately dropped to her stomach that was covered with her shirt.

'Pace, don't look.'

'I want to,' he protested.

'Well then I plan to distract you,' she muttered and kissed him, a long slow leading kiss that became increasingly frenzied until they were tumbling onto the bed in a mess of limbs and thrown clothing.

'Oh fuck,' he groaned as he pushed inside of her.

'You can oops all you like these days,' she teased.

'Don't remind me,' he rumbled feeling ridiculously teenage. 'I've been desperate for you since whenever we last did this...this isn't going to be a spectacular performance.'

'It's always spectacular,' she sighed, running her hands over his defined muscles and moaning as he ground closer to her causing just the right amount of pressure in exactly the right place. 'Mmm, do that,' she hissed, especially when he moved with harder more definite movements,

'Come soon baby,' he groaned, feeling himself reaching the point of no return.

'Not a problem,' she moaned his name as her body contracted in on itself and then relaxed with a surge of bliss, as if she'd heaved a pleasure based sigh of relief. Seconds later he was biting her shoulder and spilling inside of her.

'Definitely my most award winning performance,' he smirked and she sighed happily,

'Makes me feel amazing,' she stretched out as he rolled off of her, wrapping his arm around her and resting his head on her chest, 'besides I might fall asleep if it was epic,' she smiled and he laughed loudly, before pressing a kiss to her breast,

'You're beautiful Jo,' he whispered and she squirmed and tugged at the sheet to cover her stomach. It was true that it wasn't entirely flat, but Pacey didn't see that. He saw this wondrous thing that had kept his children safe. Her body amazed him and he loved every bit of it.

'Pace,' she protested as he pushed the sheet away from her body.

'Don't hide,' he grumbled kissing her softly but then he leaned away and reached for something on his beside cabinet for something. 'Don't move either,' he ordered before rolling back.

'I hate you looking,' she said but did trail her hand over him adoringly.

'But that's crazy,' he shimmied down the bed and pressed a long kiss to her stomach. 'You see...' he trailed off and she realized he was uncapping a pen, 'this line here and this one,' he drew on her stomach and she propped herself up on her elbows to watch, unable to hide the frown at the black line he was drawing over faint silver ones. 'These lines were Josh.'

'Pace...'

'Not done because this tiny one here...this one was Alice, small and dainty like she was.'

'You're making the loose skin wrinkle up,' she protested but he rejected the comment with another long kiss and a nuzzle of her stomach.

'This bunch of lines,' he attacked with his pen again tracing over the many lines of Jay and Edie, 'these are Jay and Edie,' her stomach was a mess of black lines and the red ones that were yet to fade from Owen and Ella. He covered those last with his black pen,

'These are Owen and Ella and that,' he gestured, 'is a map of our lives together. I love every single line because I love every single bit of you. I love that we'll always have the story of them on you. They fade to silver and you can barely see them.'

'I can see them,' she admitted, her hands in his dark hair as he gazed at his art work.

'It's beautiful Jo. This silver pattern that reminds me how amazing your body is and how extremely remarkable that you kept our six children safe and warm. Those are my marks too and you should wear them with pride. You have a beautiful body. I find you extremely attractive.'

'I can see that,' she smirked looking at how turned on he was.

'I love everything about you,' he kissed her stomach again and then lower and lower until she gave a gasp that turned into a sigh, that became a low moan.

'I love you too.'


End file.
